See first part for warnings.
BATTERED – PART 3
Duo stared at the door long after Trowa had disappeared from sight. He didn’t think he had imagined the press of Trowa’s lips to his hair, or the gentle quality of his hands on Duo’s back. The main problem was that he had no idea what to do about it. Oh, he knew the reaction that Trowa being nearby had on his body - that was something that had been happening for longer than he wanted to remember.
How could Trowa possibly be attracted to him in any way? He knew he was a mess, could tell by the way his body felt that this was the worst that Heero had ever beaten him before. Trowa probably just felt sorry for him for allowing someone to use him as a punching bag and now felt responsible for him.
Deciding that had to be the case, Duo shoved his own confused emotions aside, promising he wouldn’t be a burden to Trowa while he was recovering. It would take some time to get back on his feet, literally and figuratively, but in his heart he had known he would leave Heero at some point and had taken steps to prepare for such an occurrence, so the situation wasn’t as bad as it could have been.
It was true that he hadn’t thought about needing help from his friends, but he had to admit that he needed not only the support that he knew he would get from Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei, but the protection they could give him as well. It wouldn’t take Heero long to decide that he was sorry, and as soon as that happened he would start calling all of their friends and acquaintances to see where Duo had gone.
There was no doubt in Duo’s mind Heero could and would force him to go back to the apartment if he had a chance, but he could count on Trowa to keep the dark-haired man far away, no matter what it took. The thought made him feel weak, but he needed time before he had to face Heero and not be terrified - not only of the anger, but also of the madness he had glimpsed in the prussian-blue eyes.
Getting out of the bed proved to be much more difficult than he had assumed it would, and took him much longer than it should have. Finally sitting on the edge of the bed with his body quaking from pain and fatigue, he took stock of the various injuries. While he was grateful that Trowa had taken care of him, it was also humiliating.
The idea that Trowa’s hands had been all over his body caused him to feel all sorts of things, none of which he wanted to think about while trying to convince himself that he and Trowa were just friends. After all, if Trowa had been attracted to him in some way, wouldn’t he have tried to take advantage of the situation in some way? Duo had been unable to stop him from doing anything, yet Trowa had done nothing but kiss his head, much like an older sibling would do.
Making his way to the bathroom, Duo had to fight a bit with his right leg and the bandage that kept him from shifting his wrist too much. He managed to relieve himself with some difficulty, frowning at the tinge of red in his urine that spoke of internal bruising. He was proud of his progress until he realized that not only had he forgotten the clothes that Trowa had laid out for him, but that there was no way he was going to be able to wash his hair in the condition that he was in.
He debated for several minutes, pride warring with his need to be clean. He could still feel blood on him, even though it wasn’t visible. Swallowing his pride, something much harder now than it would have been two years before, he sat down on the lid of the toilet and called Trowa’s name.
When the tall man appeared in the door, it was with a grim expression. His shirt had already been discarded somewhere in the house, and Duo could only stare for several seconds at the bare chest. It took him a moment to force his eyes to Trowa’s face, blinking at the flare he saw for just a second in the green eyes before it disappeared. “I need some help,” he whispered, lowering his head in embarrassment.
There was no hesitation as Trowa crossed the tiled floor and crouched down in front of him. “This is nothing to worry about. I didn’t know if you would be able to do this on your own. I was waiting for you to call me.”
Duo sighed. There was nothing else he could do for now. When he didn’t speak, Trowa gave him another option. “I could always stay in here but let you shower on your own. That way I can be here if you need me.”
Once again, pride nearly overrode common sense. After giving it some serious thought, Duo shook his head, “It wouldn’t work. I can barely stand without having to hold myself up with at least one hand and I need both to wash my hair. I really, really need to feel clean, Trowa.”
As he had expected, Trowa nodded and stood, apparently understanding his desire to wash the day away. “Can you get undressed by yourself? I’ll go get your clothes while you get into the shower, and then join you in a minute.”
“That would be…good,” he agreed.
When Trowa left the room, he pulled off the soft pants as fast as he could and carefully got into the shower. It took him several long seconds to get the water going since it made him dizzy to bend over. More than once he feared that Trowa would come back before he was ready, but it was only when he was standing under the hot spray that he heard noise in the room beyond the curtain.
“If you want me to wait a few more minutes, I can.”
The low voice added to the steam that had started to fill the stall made Duo’s mind go somewhere it had no business going. Cursing his physical and mental weakness, he swallowed hard and attempted to reign in his rampant imagination. “I’m ready.”
“I seriously doubt that,” was the mumbled reply, one he wasn’t sure he understood, or really wanted to at that time.
Lucky for him, there was no time to ponder the meaning of Trowa’s words. Unlucky for him, as the other man pushed aside the curtain and stepped behind Duo, he had a very clear glimpse of creamy skin over strong muscle. Quickly he turned and lost his precarious footing in the process.
Strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him against a hard chest and holding him there. “It’s just me, Duo. I promise I would never hurt you. You do know that, right?”
Momentarily he was glad Trowa had assumed he was frightened, but his innate inability to lie got the best of him and he sighed, “I’ve never been scared of you, Trowa.”
He hadn’t been aware that the other man was tense, but after he spoke Trowa’s arms relaxed a little and he heard a soft sigh that sounded a lot like relief. They remained like that for a few long seconds where Duo alternated between wanting to put as much space between them and turning into the other man’s chest.
There was no way for him to know what Trowa was thinking as the bandages were removed and dropped to the bathroom floor in a pile that made Duo’s eyes go wide. He was much too afraid to ask what the man was thinking, so when he was gently shifted under the water his mind was in a jumble. For a long while, Duo let Trowa guide him, reveling in the movements of hands that were gentle instead of bruising. Knowing that his body was reacting to the ministrations but unable to control it, he kept his body turned from Trowa as well as his eyes.
As his back was cleaned carefully, he placed both hands on the wall and propped himself up, enjoying the sensations. In his mind he knew he should be embarrassed by being aroused by someone that was simply doing him a favor, but his heart and body were telling him to enjoy what he could for the moment. It had been so long since he had gotten an erection that he had been afraid that he never would again, and it was satisfying to learn that Heero hadn’t been able to take that away from him alone with his pride and sense of self-worth.
Trowa’s hands gently unwound his braid and began to wash his hair thoroughly, regardless of how long it was taking. When long fingers began to massage his scalp, Duo couldn’t stop the soft moan that escaped from his lips. He wanted to protest when the hands stopped moving, biting his tongue to remain quiet.
“Did I hurt you?” Trowa’s voice came from near his ear, making him tremble as warm breath washed across his wet skin.
Shamed at his thoughts, he shook his head slowly, clenching his eyes shut. “N-no. You didn’t hurt me, Trowa. I’m okay.”
After a short pause, Trowa’s hands resumed moving against his head. “Feels good, then?” When Duo didn’t answer, he laughed softly, “I can imagine it does. It must feel good to have someone hand’s in your hair, rubbing with fingers, much like this.” In demonstration, Trowa dug his fingers down even harder, increasing the pressure slightly until Duo’s eyes threatened to roll back into his head in pleasure.
Trying to find something to keep him from melting into a puddle at Trowa’s feet, Duo latched onto one thing that might keep his mind occupied, “No one’s ever washed your hair? That’s hard to believe.”
“There aren’t many people I would trust enough to take a shower with, Duo,” Trowa’s low voice was at his ear again, serious as he spoke. “Such a position leaves a person too open, too vulnerable. You should know that.”
Opening his eyes for a second, Duo realized the truth of the taller man’s words. It was a precarious position they were in, completely bared to each other as they were. “I’m sorry for needing help, Trowa. I’ll understand if you want to get out.”
“If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be.”
The depth of the words and the tone finally penetrated Duo’s mind, and his entire body trembled. If his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him, he heard more than friendship in the low voice, but reminded himself that that was ridiculous. “I really appreciate the help, ya’ know.”
“Perhaps later you’ll realize it’s not your appreciation that I want.”
“What do you want?”
“I’m hoping in time you’ll figure it out for yourself.”
Confused but not wanting to admit it, Duo turned just enough to allow him to see Trowa’s face, very close to his own. “Can you give me a hint?”
Before he had time to regret his request, Trowa’s mouth sealed firmly over his, the hands in his hair stilling. It wasn’t a deep kiss, but it was more than enough to make the blood rush in his ears, drowning out all other sounds. The kiss only lasted seconds, but by the time Trowa released him, his legs felt weaker than they had before.
Green eyes were watching him warily, with none of the amusement Duo would have expected from his shocked reaction. “Does that give you a hint, Duo?”
“But why? Why would you want to sleep with me when you could have anyone you wanted to?” He was completely baffled. “Why would you want someone that’s as…broken as I am?”
Leaning away, Trowa resumed washing the long hair. “You aren’t broken, Duo, just a little battered. And I don’t want to sleep with you. I want you…all of you…all the time. I have for a long time.”
His mind whirling, Duo stayed quiet as Trowa washed and conditioned his hair, still fighting the throbbing erection that was now painfully hard. Soapy hands slid down his chest to his stomach, making him gasp. “Normally I wouldn’t say anything about this, but would you like me to help you a little? That seems to be very painful.”
“I can’t ask you to do that,” he argued without any heat. One arm wrapped around him, pulling him to Trowa’s body and directly in contact with the hardness of the other man’s own erection.
“You aren’t asking, Duo. I am. Let me do this for you, please.” Trowa’s laugh was a low one, without any real amusement in it, “I think I need this as much as you do, if not more.”
Even if he could have found his voice, Duo didn’t think he had the strength to deny what they both so obviously wanted. Nodding, he reached behind his body to grasp Trowa’s erection with his good hand, smiling a little when Trowa was the one to gasp this time. Strength of a sort that he hadn’t felt in a long time filled him when he looked up and found Trowa’s eyes shut and his mouth open, gasping for breath.
Letting power wash over him, he carefully turned so he was facing the tall brunette, his wounded hand resting on a strong shoulder to keep him balanced. He was starting to feel light-headed, but it could have been from any number of things. He had been beaten badly that day, hadn’t eaten anything since the day before, and now he had a very strong man willingly letting him do anything to his body. Most likely it was a combination of everything, but Duo had no intention of stopping until he brought Trowa to his knees.
Realizing that he had the other man under his control and reveling in that feeling, Duo kept his voice low, not masking the huskiness of it. “What do you want me to do, Trowa? What do want from me right now?”
Dazed green eyes focused on him, Trowa’s arm pulling him even closer even as his other hand closed around Duo, making him suck in a breath. “Anything you’ll give me.”
“Will you take me? Make me forget?”
The words were out of his mouth before he even had a chance to think about it. To give Trowa credit, the other man didn’t run out of the shower – and away from Duo – as fast as possible. He merely jerked at the request. “Please don’t ask me to do that, Duo. You’re not ready for that kind of intimacy with me, or anyone for that matter.”
“If you don’t want me, I understand.” Duo realized how ludicrous this was, having this conversation while rubbing Trowa’s erection, but he couldn’t stop if he wanted to.
After taking a deep, tremulous gulp of air, Trowa shook his head, “I want you. You have no idea how badly I want you, believe me. But I don’t want our first time to be just because you want something to replace bad memories. I want it to be because you want me.”
Seeming a bit desperate, Trowa shoved Duo’s hand aside and wrapped a large hand around both of them. The feel of Trowa’s hand and erection rubbing him at the same time made Duo cry out and hold onto the taller man with both hands. Trowa’s mouth closed over his, swallowing his cries and teasing him with an agile tongue as he brought them both to completion.
Letting the water wash over them, Trowa gave him a serious look. “I need you to want me for me, Duo. I can wait a bit longer for that.”