Disclaimers: They don’t belong to me; I just pull them out and torture them every once in a while.
Warnings: yaoi be rampant here, meaning male on male action, although it’s nothing major.
Pairings: 3+2 (tentative), 6+5, 1+4, other randoms that I won’t name because they aren’t that dang important.
Special Thanks to: TanithNight for being the bestest beta reader in the whole yaoi-iverse. Thanks again for dealing with my multiple comma errors and bad grammar, not to mention bad language at times.
Dating Service
Nearing the table where five men sat for their twice weekly dinner, Duo braced himself for the inevitable questions, comments, and teasing about his disastrous love life. He knew the others only picked on him because they found his experiences amusing, but didn’t think they needed to take such glee in his misery.
Wufei saw him first and smirked as he drew everyone’s attention to the braided man, “Duo, I thought you had a date tonight.”
“Your memory sucks,” Duo noted casually as he took his usual seat between Zechs and Quatre. “What I said was that if my date went well last night, I might not be here.”
Taking the menu that Quatre handed him, he barely glanced at it before setting it aside; they had been eating at this restaurant twice a week for nearly six months and there wasn’t much of a variety. Luckily, they didn’t come for the food, but the company. Being able to spend time together was often the highlight of his week and he thought the others could understand the sentiment.
Conversation centered on Wufei’s recent promotion before switching to Quatre’s plan to hold a fund-raiser for one of the many charities his company gave money and time. Duo was more than happy to volunteer at the small fair the blonde was arranging.
He was beginning to believe no one would mention his latest date until Wufei peered around Zechs to smirk at him, “Did your date not work out because he thought you were fat?” the dark-eyed man inquired, eyes cutting to the salad Duo had chosen for dinner.
Quatre frowned in disapproval, “Wufei, you know Duo has weight issues.”
The comment had meant to be helpful, but Duo hunched his shoulders protectively, stabbing a piece of lettuce with more force than necessary. From Quatre’s other side, Heero snorted, “The problem Duo has is keeping weight on, not having too much.”
“Damn guys, either I’m too fat or too skinny, which is it?” The total silence that descended on the table had Duo looking up from his plate, wincing at the stunned expressions facing him, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Was your date last night that bad?” Wufei was completely serious now, no traces of humor on his face. “What did that asshole say to you?”
This was the reason Duo put up with the constant teasing and mockery; if he was ever really hurt, these men would rally around him in an instant. “Nothing I haven’t heard before; that I was so skinny I could pass for a model. He thought it was a compliment.”
“Tell us about your date, Duo,” Zechs nudged him with an elbow. “It couldn’t have been all bad. His name was…Bryan, I think?”
As Duo’s employer, Zechs was often privy to details the others didn’t know, unless the tall blonde shared that information with Wufei, his lover, which was highly likely. “Yeah, Bryan,” Duo nodded as he set his fork down and sat back in his chair with his beer. “He’s an investment banker, whatever the hell that is. What I do know is that he bored me to death with talk of stocks and portfolios during dinner. He even asked me if I had an accountant and told me of some he recommended to his clients.”
“Did you bother to mention that you have an accountant?” Heero inquired with a smile. Since none of them, other than Zechs and Quatre, had experience with money, they all used the same accounting agency, one owned by Winner.
“I didn’t want to give him an opportunity to say anything else. I guess a good way to sum up the entire evening is that is started with a whimper and ended with a bang.”
“What caused the whimper?” Quatre asked first.
“That would have been me when Bryan showed up at the restaurant in a god-awful neon green shirt and brown capri pants. It was one of the worst outfits I’ve ever seen and I’ve spent a lot of time aboard ships with Howard. I was afraid if I looked at Bryan for more than a few seconds at a time my eyes would start to bleed.”
Wufei chuckled, “Where did the bang come from?”
“The bang was when my fist popped him in the nose at the end of the movie. He assumed that by saying I was tired and ready to go home that I actually meant for him to get in my car and refuse to get out.”
“Hence the bang,” Zechs surmised.
“It was the fastest way to convince him that I wanted to go home alone. It worked,” Duo shrugged as laughter filled the table.
Quatre touched his forearm briefly, “How many dates have you had that have not gone well, Duo?”
“I stopped counting because it was too depressing. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. All these people seem normal until we actually go out and then they aren’t who they seemed to be.”
“Like the aspiring hairdresser that went crazy when you refused to let her touch your braid?” Wufei questioned, eyes dancing with amusement.
“Or the photographer that wanted you to pose nude with his dogs for him,” Zechs added.
“There was the race car driver that was a closet bondage freak,” Heero winced.
“That wasn’t as bad as the professional fighter that challenged Duo to a fight and then cried when he lost.”
Duo could remember all those dates and more: a stripper that had thought he should pay to be seen with her, a motorcycle enthusiast that had tried to talk him into getting a tattoo, and a vet that had brought along his five poodles on their date, to name a few.
Sinking into his seat, he gave another heavy sigh, “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Do I have a sigh on my forehead that says, ‘Psychos apply here for relationship’?” he half-joked.
“Maybe you need to sign up with one of those dating services,” Quatre suggested abruptly. “They could match you up, couldn’t they?”
Although he had considered the idea before, Duo had always shied away from doing it. “It just seems weird. Shouldn’t I pick who I date?”
“You haven’t been doing such a good job so far,” Heero mused with his usual bluntness.
“Even if I decided to do something like that, where would I start? I don’t like the idea of putting my info on the interweb for anyone to see.”
“You could use the dating service that I use.”
Five pairs of eyes went to the sixth member of the group, the only one that rarely spoke. Wufei was the first to recover, leaning forward to exclaim, “Trowa, you use a dating service?”
“Yes.”
When Trowa went back to his spaghetti without further comment, Wufei frowned, “Why?”
Green eyes glanced up from the plate, “Why what?”
“Why do you use a dating service? Unlike Duo, you don’t seem like the type that needs one.”
Insulted, Duo crossed his arms, “Thanks a heap, Wufei. It’s always nice to hear that I’m even incompetent at dating.”
Clearly realizing what he had said, Wufei winced. Before he could say anything, Trowa turned to face him, “Like Duo, I’m a busy man. Most of my time is spent protecting a wealthy and influential man, also like Duo. Unlike Duo, my social skills are limited. It’s more comfortable for me to use a service than to try to meet someone on my own.”
Intrigued by the idea and amused at the way Wufei’s face had turned red, Duo regarded the tall man across the table, sandwiched between Heero and Wufei. “How does it work?”
“You submit a profile to the service and they find someone that shares the same interests. When they do, they arrange a place to meet if you accept the date,” Trowa explained, his voice soft yet managing to cross the table easily.
“Does it work? Have you met anyone?”
“No one I would consider having a relationship with, but I’ve had a few dates. They all went very well.”
“How do you get to know your date before you meet?” Quatre leaned forward, elbows on the table to prop up his chin.
“You don’t. The dates are kept a secret until you meet so there are no preconceptions. All members are subjected to a background check and the site is very secure. I couldn’t hack into it when I tried.”
“How would I get started?” Duo was hoping this might work.
“If you aren’t doing anything after work tomorrow, I could come to your house and help you get started.”
Thrilled with the offer, Duo raised his beer in salute, “I’ll be home after six.”
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