Disclaimer: They’re not mine
Warnings: Check the first part. They’re all there
The next morning, Trowa sat up in bed with a groan and grabbed his watch off the small bedside table. Seeing it was only nine-thirty, he flopped back on the mattress and pulled the blanket over his head, intending to go back to sleep. When Duo’s words played through his mind again, as they had all night, he realized sleep was going to be impossible.
That Duo had said he was beautiful didn’t bother him, despite the often feminine use of the word. What had kept him up was wondering if things would have been different if he had known Duo had been attracted to males. It had been impossible not to notice Duo during the war, the love for live he had carried with him was difficult to resist, but Trowa had never thought of becoming more than acquaintances. The attraction Heero had had to the long-haired teen had been obvious, but it had always been more difficult to figure out if Duo shared that attraction, never touching Heero more than anyone else, though the two had been close.
This thought made Trowa consider another notion, one more serious given the situation. Was Duo attracted to him now? How did he think of Duo? If he did find Duo attractive, was it the way he really felt, or did it stem from the desire to do something that would make Quatre angry? “It’s too early to think this hard,” he moaned, rolling from the bed and wincing when his bare feet hit the cold hardwood floor.
A half-hour in the bathroom and he felt a bit more awake as he made his way down the stairs, stopping halfway down the steps when he heard Duo’s voice, too soft for him to discern words. Quietly he snuck down the remaining stairs and padded softly to the kitchen door, closed this time rather than open the way it had been the night before. He listened intently for a long moment, his face heating when Duo spoke normally from inside the kitchen, “Trowa, we didn’t wake you up, did we?”
Flustered, Trowa pushed the door open and faced Duo, standing in front of the stove. Needing to say something to cover his embarrassment, he frowned, “I thought you said you got started early around here. We?”
“We had to eat breakfast. This is what we do every day, except Sunday, right Mick?” Duo asked, shifting so Trowa could see the huge man sitting at the table.
Trowa estimated the man was at least three-hundred pounds, all of it muscle that bulged at the seams of his t-shirt, ringed with sweat. The only reply was a slow nod as anxious pale eyes studied Trowa over a cup of steaming coffee. “How long have you been up?” he asked Duo, forcing himself to look away from the big man.
“Started a little after five this morning,” Duo answered easily as he flipped pancakes with one hand, pouring a cup of coffee with the other. Handing Trowa the mug, he nodded at the table, “Milk and sugar are on the table. You hungry?”
Breathing in the scents of coffee and freshly made pancakes, Trowa went to the table and sat carefully opposite the man called Mick, acutely aware he was being studied closely. “If it’s not a problem. If you’re in a hurry, I can eat cereal.”
“Not a problem at all. This what time you usually get up?”
“I didn’t sleep well last night.”
Cobalt eyes fixed on him abruptly, “Is the room okay? The bed comfortable?”
“The room is perfect, if a bit quieter than I’m used to. I had a lot on my mind.”
“Anything I can help with?”
For the first time since his arrival, Trowa noticed how good Duo looked in the loose jeans and tight t-shirt. “No, it’s something I need to work out on my own,” he said in a rush, confused about feeling the strong surge of desire so suddenly.
“If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know,” Duo offered sincerely as he turned back to the stove.
Ten minutes later three plates were placed on the table, full with so much food Trowa didn’t think there was any way for it all to be eaten. His eyes grew wide when he saw Mick’s plate had twice the amount his did. Warily, he moved his gaze from the large plate to the man, shifting uncomfortably when he saw he was still being stared at.
Once Duo refilled both coffee cups he sat beside Trowa, glancing over at the silent man. “Stop staring, Mick. Trowa’s a good friend. We have a lot to do today, so hurry and eat.”
Trowa ate his own food slowly while Mick nearly shoveled his serving into his mouth, as big as the rest of him. It was somewhat of a shock when the man finished well ahead of him and Duo, but the braided man seemed to expect it. “Go ahead and take care of the horses, Mick. They all need washed and groomed today.”
Amazingly gentle hands carried dishes to the sink. Before leaving, Mick gave Duo a nod and patted his belly, then graced Trowa with a painfully shy, sweet smile before lumbering out of the house, using the kitchen door. “Mick doesn’t talk,” Duo announced suddenly. “And he doesn’t trust strangers. By saying you were a friend I promised you wouldn’t hurt him.”
“How could I possibly hurt him?” Trowa stared at the area where Mick had sat, taking up almost the entire bench.
“Easier than you think. Mick is big, but he has the brain of a child. If you shout around him, he’ll cover himself from fear.”
“Retarded?”
“Damaged,” the other man corrected. “His father was a drunk. Nearly beat Mick to death when he was little. The doctor doesn’t know if it was a side-effect of the beating or if it was just a way to escape reality, but Mick’s like a very large ten-year-old. Couldn’t ask for anyone better with animals, though. I swear he can understand them.”
Trowa remembered the lions in the circus with fondness. “It’s easier to understand animals than humans. If you treat them kindly, they’ll never lie to you or stab you in the back.”
Duo stood with his own empty plate, smiling slightly, “What do you know? We have something in common, after all.”
“How much of my conversation with Quatre did you hear?”
“Just the end. He doesn’t need to worry. I don’t have any designs on you.”
After giving it thought for a few seconds, Trowa demanded, “Why not?”
He had the pleasure of seeing Duo jerk, obviously surprised by the question. Raising one brow, Duo gave him a baffled expression. “You can’t be serious.”
“What’s wrong with me?” It was odd to discover he wanted to know. “Do you think I’m ugly or mean? Do you believe I don’t have feelings because I don’t express them like others do?”
Duo jerked from the assault of words. “I don’t know you. Even if I did, anything that could be between us is impossible.”
Uncertain why he was so determined to pursue the matter, Trowa rose and crossed the room, placing his hands on either side of Duo’s body, trapping the other man against the counter and realizing for the first time how small Duo was compared to his own size. In the position they were in, all it would take was for Trowa to lean forward and Duo would be snug against his chest. “Last night you said you were bisexual and you thought me, Heero, and Wufei were attractive. You don’t think the same about me anymore?”
“That’s not the point.”
“I thought that was the point,” he insisted. “Why would anything between us be impossible?”
“You’re city, born and bred. I’m country by choice,” Duo said as if that explained everything. When Trowa gave a blank stare, the cobalt-eyed man huffed, “I’d go crazy if I had to stay in the city and you couldn’t survive a week out here before taking off.”
“Who said it had to be a permanent thing?”
Duo gave him a blatant ‘who are you kidding’ look. “Sex is easy. Sex is uncomplicated. Sex with you would be…different. Because of what we were and who we are now. That’s not something I want in my life.”
“Sex or the complications?” Trowa questioned, unsatisfied with Duo’s reply even though it was a valid argument.
“Complications. I have enough worries in my life without adding you to them. There is no doubt sex with you would be fun, but you aren’t a short-term type of person. Could you really be happy if we scrogged like bunnies for a few days then never saw each other again?”
The honesty in Duo’s eyes bothered Trowa. For a moment he entertained the notion as the other man had said, sleeping together during his time there and then walking away without a backward glance. He frowned as he realized Duo was right; he wouldn’t be capable of leaving without some reassurance he would see the other man again. “Could you?” he asked, curious how Duo would reply.
Duo leaned back a little, bracing his elbows on the counter inside the circle of Trowa’s arms. “With someone else I’d say no problem. With you, there would be a lot of problems. The best option is to leave it alone.”
Trowa raised his brows at the caution the other man exhibited. “During the war you would have gone forward without a thought to the later problems or consequences.”
“During the war I was a moron. I hope I’ve grown up enough to realize there are consequences to every decision instead of barging ahead and paying the price later.” Glancing at the clock on the kitchen wall, Duo shook his head, “I really do have a lot of work to do, Trowa.”
“Can I come with you? I’ll try not to bother you,” he requested, hoping to learn more about this odd man who seemed to be a mix of the Duo he remembered and a brand new person.
“I move fast. I might not be able to stop and answer questions you might have,” he was warned.
“I’ll keep them in mind and ask you later.” When Duo gave a small nod, Trowa lifted a hand to let him pass. Feeling wicked, he grinned as Duo put the dirty pans in soapy water to soak. “You realize this could have ended differently, don’t you?”
Before he could turn around, Duo had him pressed against the counter, eyes gleaming as they changed from cobalt to a blue so dark it was almost black. “I might not take chances that often anymore, but it would be a good idea for you to let this go and not bring it up again. I haven’t had sex in a long time and it wouldn’t take much to make me forget it would be a bad idea. I’ve already wondered what it would feel like to have you inside me, so I suggest you let this go.”
Knowing Duo was giving him a warning, Trowa took it as a challenge instead. “What if I decide it would be a good idea?”
Duo moved back abruptly, eyes wide. Seemingly frustrated, he yanked the piece of leather that held his hair back and shook it free, only to bind it back seconds later. Trowa was amazed at the change in Duo’s eyes as they turned back to their normal color. “This might be your idea of fun, Trowa, or maybe a weird way of getting back at Quatre, but you aren’t the one in control here. You’ll leave soon while I stay here. That’s how it is. Nothing you do or say will make me run the risk of being left alone.”
The smaller man was out the door before Trowa could work up a response. Wondering what had caused the outburst, Trowa cleaned the kitchen, taking pride in the act as he washed, dried, and put up the cookware. While he was staying here he might as well make himself useful, he surmised. One way he planned to help was by figuring out why the other man adamantly refused to get involved with him in any way, shape, or form. At the same time, he also needed to figure out why it meant so much to him.