Disclaimer: Not mine. Somebody else’s. There, I said it.
Warnings: Look in the first part. They’re all there.
JUST CURIOUS – PART 3
I’ve most definitely lost my freaking mind. Not only did I spend the remainder of the day yesterday agonizing over my decision, I spent over an hour at the florist this afternoon, finally asking the poor woman that worked there what I should get for a prospective boyfriend. Instead of being repulsed, she thought it was sweet, saying more men should be as thoughtful.
I’ve lifted my hand twice to Duo’s room door already, only to lower it again, hoping this is the right thing to do. My body says yes, my heart says yes, and my brain is running in circles trying to catch up with the rest of me while screaming ‘Are you crazy?’ What exactly do I expect to happen? We go out on a date and he suddenly decides he can’t live without me? When has anything in my life been so simple?
Stranger to comrade. Comrade to friend. Friend to obsession. Obsession to desire. Desire to lo… Whoa! Getting way ahead of myself. I don’t know what I feel, right?
Yeah, right. If I didn’t know for certain what is inside me, I wouldn’t be here, holding a bouquet of coreopsis in sweaty hands like I was picking up a prom date. If I walk away right now, he’ll never know.
Then again, if I walk away, I’ll never know, either. Can I live without knowing if we could have had a chance to be good together? Can I live wondering if I was the one he could finally open up to?
No. This is a step I have to take. I have to do this. Telling myself this, I force my hand up again; staring for a second when I see it’s shaking and knock on the door. I then debate on running before it can be answered or groaning when it isn’t answered within three seconds. I haven’t made a decision when he opens the door, giving me a confused expression.
“Trowa, I thought you had to work today. Come on in.”
“I took the day off.” It’s not worth mentioning I actually have two days off and then the weekend, and only after a lengthy battle of glares with Une. “I wanted to give you these,” I say, shoving the flowers at him with little ceremony.
Duo blinks at me, large eyes going from me to the flowers and back at me. I have to stop myself from slapping my forehead and muttering an inane apology, something I have never considered doing in my entire life, as he looks back at the flowers again. It helps smooth my tangles nerves when a smile crosses his lips and he reaches for the bouquet I still hold awkwardly. “These are for me, really?”
“They aren’t girly, like roses or pansies.” Please, please let the floor open up and swallow me whole. “You said you’ve never been on a date before and I was wondering if you’d like to go see a movie.” Did my voice just squeak? I never squeak, not since…well, never. I haven’t been this nervous since I sat in Heavyarms for the first time, knowing if I screwed up I would be shot without hesitation.
Things go downhill when his smile falters. Duo turns away, searching in the small kitchenette for something to put the flowers in. Maybe I should have bought a vase, too. Realizing I’ve made a huge mistake, I start backing toward the door. “Never mind; I guess I inhaled too many sewage fumes yesterday.”
“Did you do this because you feel sorry for me?” Duo’s voice is so quiet I barely hear it, but I do stop my hasty retreat.
“Why would I feel sorry for you?”
“Because of the way things ended between me and Heero. I didn’t tell you so you would feel sorry for me, Trowa.”
“Heero was an idiot. I did this because I wanted to see you again.” My face burns as he turns to look at me, eyes wider than before. Since my mouth has already run off without my brain, I might as well go on, but damned if I can look at him while telling him something so private. Looking at the floor, I say some of what’s on my mind, a lot more than I planned to say to begin with. “I think about you. I’ve been thinking about you for some time. Yesterday was the first time we really had a chance to talk, but I want to know more. I want to know everything. I hoped if we spent more time together, you might be willing to give me a chance to prove I can be what you want.”
“You realize my job takes up a lot of my time.” Duo’s voice is apologetic and his eyes resigned.
“So does mine, but we could work something out.”
“Like what?”
Strangely, he actually sounds like he wants to know. Guess it’s a good thing I’ve put a lot of thought into this. “You get vacation, don’t you?”
“I’m supposed to get a couple of days each month, but I usually end up working for some reason. There hasn’t been much reason for me to take any time off; vacations are boring as hell if you have to go alone.”
“I have most weekends off. Depending on where you are, I could always come and see you. When you get vacation, you could stay with me if you wanted to. You could stay with me when you come to work with the Preventers. It would be better than staying in a hotel.” If that’s the best I can come up with, this is so screwed.
Sounding serious, he points out, “That would still mean we could only see each other a few days each month.” Maybe my idea isn’t so screwed.
Looking up from the horrid carpeting, I see he’s moved closer and is watching me with a thoughtful expression. “We could talk on the phone when we can’t be together. Besides, it’s not the quantity of time together, is it? Isn’t it supposed to be the quality? We could make every second count.” I’m starting to feel an inkling of hope as he gazes at me, his eyes boring into me.
“What if things don’t work out?”
For once I allow the hope I feel to show on my face. “At least we can say we tried, Duo. I don’t want to look back in five or ten years and wonder what would have happened if we had tried. I don’t think I can take that.”
“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
He doesn’t sound uncertain, exactly. He actually sounds wary, like he’s afraid to hope. Screwing up all the courage I can claim to have, I move the last few steps toward him. Careful of his arm, bound in a real sling today, I put my hands on his face, making sure not to hit the bandage on his head. “Very serious. Will you take a chance with me?”
“Can a date be room service and a movie on TV?”
“You don’t want to go out? I can make reservations for dinner.”
“I think I’d rather stay in, if that’s okay. Right now, I’m bound to gather a bit more attention than I like, considering I look like I got in a barroom brawl. We can go out for our next date?” he suggests, surprisingly shy.
“Going out for our next date sounds like a great idea.”
EPILOGUE
“You seem to be in a hurry to leave. Big plans?”
“Duo’s shuttle is supposed to land in a half-hour,” I say quickly, shoving my laptop into my bag. I have a week off and plan to spend all of it ignoring anything that resembles work, but I take the computer because it has personal information on it. It’s not wise to leave things like that where one of the world’s best hackers has access to it. Although I would love to see Heero’s face if he saw some of the pictures of Duo I have on there. Then again, maybe I wouldn’t want to see Heero’s face if he saw those pictures.
“Everything still working between you two?”
Of all the times for Heero to want to talk, this has to be one of the worst. I want to be there when Duo disembarks, just like I always am. “Things are working out very well. Honestly, things couldn’t be much better. The only thing that could make it better was if we had more time.”
“Why don’t you transfer to where he is?”
Shouldering the strap of my laptop bag, I grab my jacket. “Because he’s never in the same place for long.” I’ve thought about it, a lot. If it was practical, I’d already be gone.
Leaning back in his chair, Heero tilts his head. “How long have you been together? Three years or four?”
“Five this weekend. I’ll see you when I get back, Heero. Unless it’s a matter of life or death, don’t call me. Actually, don’t call me unless you’re already dead.”
His laughter follows me as I rush down the hall, taking the stairs instead of wasting another second waiting on the elevator. Those that know me get out of the way as I hurry out of the building and enter the parking garage at a dead run, stopping abruptly when I see a certain braided man lounging against my car, smiling at me. “Going somewhere, Trowa?”
All the worries that plague me each time we’re apart fall away in an instant as I see the pleasure on his face. It terrifies me to think one day he’ll realize I need him so much more than he needs me, and he won’t come back. For now, that concern disappears as he rushes into my arms. Helpless to resist, I tilt his head back for a deep kiss, one that conveys how much I’ve missed him these past two weeks, when he couldn’t take time away from a salvage job. “I was coming to get you at the port. You aren’t supposed to land for another twenty minutes.”
“I took an earlier flight so I could surprise you.”
It’s clear how happy he is to see me, but there’s something he isn’t telling me, something that has the muscles in his neck and back tense. Maybe he’s worried how I’ll react to seeing him here? He’s never met me here before, though we have rode to work together a number of times when Une asked him to come in. “You can surprise me like this anytime you want, Duo. I’m always happy to see you.”
“You sure about that?”
So he’s not worried about my reaction…not completely, at least. “What is it?”
Pulling away from me, he leans on my car and crosses his arms over his chest. It’s a move he makes when he feels defensive and worries me again. Has he realized he doesn’t want me anymore? “Well, you see, I took an earlier flight because I got a ride with some Sweepers coming in. They’re a bit more relaxed about having certain items on a flight as long as they know the passenger.”
“What kind of items?”
“Oh, you know. Guns, knives, explosives; that kind of thing.”
I can’t think of any reason for Duo to be moving his supply of weapons, unless there’s a large assignment for Une I don’t know about, which is unlikely, or… “Duo?”
“Howard had this brainstorm that it might be a good idea to let people get the deep-sea diving experience without them having to do any of the actual work. He bought a boat and is supplying it with everything needed to take tourists out for a few days at a time. Since Kip retired, he asked if I’d like to be the captain. He knows I wouldn’t be able to find someone else I trust enough to work with and he doesn’t want me going out alone. He didn’t think you’d be too happy about that idea either. The thing is… the boat is docked about a half-hour from your house. I thought maybe it would be better if I just stayed there instead of staying on the ship all the time. It’s probably an inconvenience for you to have me around all the time. If you don’t want me there, it’s no big deal.”
He finally stops talking and stares at the ground in silence. It takes me a moment to separate the quick tumble of words but when I do manage my heart does a fast stutter. “You’re moving in with me?”
“I know that it’s short notice. We never really talked about something this big, not in detail or anything. I didn’t know what to do, but I was hoping you wouldn’t mind for a little while.”
It isn’t often I feel so happy that I could explode, my life’s been a difficult one so that isn’t a surprise. I don’t know any other way to show how I feel other than to pick Duo up and kiss him, hard. When I finally let him go, I can see the shock in his eyes. “You want to move in with me?” I ask again, feeling the smile spread across my face, but unable to tone it down. “You want to move in with me.”
“You don’t mind I basically invited myself? I’m gonna be in your way, Trowa.”
As he tightens his legs around my waist, I realize we might be giving the guys in security a show and then I realize I really don’t care. “Do you think that worries me? You know I wanted more time with you. I always have.”
“You probably didn’t expect it to be so sudden.”
Duo still feels unsure of me and how I really feel, just like I do him. Tilting his chin up I look deep into worried violet eyes, briefly glancing at the scar that skims his hairline from all those years ago. “It’s been five years since our first date. Is that your idea of sudden?”
“Not really. Are you sure? I can be a grouch in the morning.”
“You’ve stayed with me before. I’ve stayed with you. I think I know a few ways to put you in a better mood.”
The light in his eyes changes from worry to lust. It’s a strategic move on his part when he tightens his legs, bringing our bodies together. “You have any plans for vacation? I know you were going to be alone the last few days, but I suddenly have some time off and might have a suggestion.”
I had no intention of being alone, as I had planned to go back with him the last few days of my vacation, but it isn’t important now. “What do you have in mind?”
“The first tour isn’t scheduled for at least a month, but the ship is prepped and ready to go. Want to take a ride somewhere, get away from everyone else for a few days? Howard suggested I take some time and get used to how she works.”
“Is there going to be a large crew?” We make sure not to distance ourselves from our friends, it’s important to both of us, but I want him to myself for a while. It’s been weeks since we saw each other and it feels like a year.
“I think we can handle the ship ourselves. The food will be out of cans, but we’ll manage.”
“How long before we leave?”
“We need to stop at your house for a little while, but after that, we’re ready to go.”
“Our house,” I say firmly. “We need to pack anything special?”
“Just some clothes; that’s not what’s going to take a while, Trowa. I need to clear my mind before piloting a ship.” Duo’s wicked grin tells me it isn’t his mind he wants to clear.
Letting his feet touch the ground, I kiss him again then shove him into the car. My things are tossed carelessly in the back seat before I climb in, heart racing. Five years and I still can’t wait to feel him against me.
When he grins over at me, I lift an eyebrow, already knowing he’s laughing at my haste. “What’s so funny?”
Laughing out loud, he shrugs, “Nothing much. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious.”
End
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