Disclaimers and warnings in first part
The day started with a surprise as Duo walked into the kitchen, still half-asleep to find Trowa waiting with a coke in his hand, Duo’s alternate to coffee. The slight aroma of a cigarette hung in the air, telling him that the tall man had indulged in one of his pleasures, one that he couldn’t partake in while on board the large spacecraft.
Although it had taken hours for Duo to fall asleep the night before, and his sleep had been filled with nightmares of Trowa leaving him again, he managed a smile even while wishing he could make the day last forever. “You must have slept well last night,” he commented quietly. “You’re up awful early.”
“As well as you, I think. I gave up around four this morning,” Trowa admitted, watching the other man with a somber expression. “I thought it would be nice to make breakfast for you today, to thank you for putting up with me.”
“I enjoyed having you here, Trowa. I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon,” he replied, not missing the way green eyes widened slightly. Not wanting to dwell on the fact that his former lover was leaving before the sun rose again, he tilted his head. “I didn’t realize you could cook.”
“I took some shifts on the Hydra. It was a way to do some of the required volunteer duties without having to talk to a lot of people. The head cook gave me some lessons and eventually told me I wasn’t a complete loss.” Trowa offered a small smile as he turned to the stove.
Peeking around the tall man, Duo lifted an eyebrow, “Um, Tro? I don’t recall having any of that stuff in my fridge before I went to bed last night. If you got that out of there,” he jerked a thumb to his refrigerator, “I doubt it’s very safe.”
Hearing a chuckle, he glanced up to see a smile tugging Trowa’s lips. “I went to the store this morning when it opened. I’m just glad it opens early or I wouldn’t have been able to get back before you got up.” When Trowa looked at him with an odd expression, Duo tilted his head in a silent question. “That’s the first time you’ve called me Tro,” the tall man stated in a near whisper.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It just slipped out,” the L2 native backed up, hurt by the words.
His retreat was halted when Trowa turned and snagged his hand, holding it and staring at it for a few long seconds. “I didn’t mind, Duo. I’ve missed hearing it.”
Duo didn’t dare breath in those minutes where his hand was held more gently than he could recall ever having been before. It was almost like Trowa was afraid he was going to break if he moved too much or said anything. After being completely still for long enough to make his insides jitter, Duo risked turning his hand, letting their fingers tangle together. The tall man’s gaze finally came up, meeting Duo’s eyes, his mouth opening as if he was going to say something, only to shut it with a snap.
“Trowa…” Duo hesitated, not sure the other man wanted to hear what he wanted to say.
He got his answer when Trowa shook his head, “I need to make breakfast.”
Released quickly, Duo nodded, backing away to the other side of the room so he wouldn’t wrap his arms around Trowa’s waist and refuse to let go until he got a vow that Trowa would stay. Clearing his throat so he wouldn’t sob, he looked out the window. “I wanted to thank you for working in the yard. I’ve been meaning to do it, but there’s always something else for me to do.”
“I had a lot of free time and you never did like doing yard work. You said there were better things to do outside.”
The wistful smile was impossible to stop, “I think I sufficiently proved my point, didn’t I?”
“I have to say I’ve never thought of a pile of leaves quite the same way, but we did have a hard time trying to get them all out of your hair,” Trowa reminded.
“Getting them out of my hair was the least of my concerns at the time. Those things were scratchy. Still, I didn’t even know there were flowers in the yard. Thanks to you, the yard is colorful and pretty for the first time since I bought the house. You’re really good at growing things, aren’t you?”
“It’s a peaceful process for me. On the Hydra, I work in the cultivation rooms. It taught me a lot about how to grow different types of plants. You have different types of soil that work better for some than others, and the ph levels can be different, too. There are additives you can put in the ground to help the plants grow, depending on what the soil already has in it.”
“It’s too bad you’re leaving. I could use someone to do landscaping and stuff and so could everyone else that lives around here. There isn’t even a florist in this town. The closest is twenty miles away, in the next city.”
There was a brief spark of interest before it was gone and Trowa shrugged, “Anyone can grow things, Duo.”
“I have a black thumb and you know it. Anything I’ve ever tried to grow has died a fast and painful death. I don’t water them enough, or I water them too much, or I put them in too much sun or not enough sun… there are too many rules.”
“Your flowers were growing well, despite being overrun with weeds,” Trowa shook his head, although he was smiling.
“Those were planted by the couple that owned the house before I did. Too bad you don’t have time to work on the back yard. There’s supposed to be a rose bush back there somewhere, but I’ve never seen it.”
When Trowa laughed, Duo inhaled quickly. It was a sound he hoped to remember for a long time. “I’m sure you’ll find it eventually. Just take a section of the yard at a time.”
“Since you’re so determined to leave, I guess I’ll have to,” he stated, hearing the bitterness in his own voice.
The other man seemed to hear it too. Adeptly cracking some eggs into a bowl, Trowa mused, “You sound like you actually regret that I’m leaving.”
Being given the opportunity to say what he wanted, Duo kept his eyes on the window, “Trowa, I…”
I don’t want you to leave.
I don’t want you to go away.
I need you to stay.
I love you so much it’s painful.
“I don’t see why you can’t wait a while longer to go. It’s been nice having you around,” he finally said, mentally slapping himself for being a coward.
“I’ve enjoyed being here, Duo. It’s been…good seeing you again. I wish I had more time, but if I’m not on board when the Hydra departs, I won’t be able to rejoin them for another year.”
Knowing this to be a lie, Duo almost called the other man on it then stopped, realizing if he said anything it would reveal he had overheard the conversation with the commander. “Would that be such a bad thing?” he asked, turning to look at Trowa. “You could stay here and go later if you still wanted.”
The pain on Trowa’s face was swift but clear. Averting his head, Trowa put the eggs in a pan he had already heated. “They need me, Duo. I won’t let the other crew members down.”