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Disclaimers and warnings in first part.

 

TEN YEARS – PART 2

 

9 years, 11 months later

 

Duo barely noticed the phone ringing, not bothering to look up from the essay he was trying to read.  Seeing movement from the corner of his eye, he tossed the paper to his desk and rubbed tired eyes.  “I don’t see how some of these people managed to graduate high school.  How they got into college is a mystery.”

 

Heero smiled at the complaint, one Duo expressed often.  “They’re trying to test you to see if you’re smart enough to be a professor,” he replied, getting a weary shake of the head.

 

Hoping all the essays weren’t as bad as the one he was attempting to read, Duo turned in his chair to fully face his roommate.  “I’ve been their teacher for months.  I’m pretty sure this group is full of morons that thought Universe History was going to be an easy class.  I blame it on my predecessor,” he added, speaking of the man whose place he had taken, one with a reputation of giving A’s if the students merely showed up to class.  “What’s up?” he asked, knowing Heero wouldn’t interrupt him while he was working without a reason.

 

“Coby’s on the phone.”

 

“Hell, I didn’t forget something again, did I?” Duo asked warily.

 

“Not that I know of, but he doesn’t look happy.”

 

“Great,” he mumbled as Heero left the small office.  Never one to put off unpleasant things, he jabbed the button to take the call.  “Hi, Coby.  How’s it going?”

 

Coby Holsten was a man used to getting his way by using a combination of charm, wealth, power and good looks.  At first, Duo had been captivated by the man, but after months of dating he found Coby more demanding and boring than he wanted to deal with.  With his dark brown hair carefully styled, Coby appeared to be getting ready to go out, or had just gotten in.  Either way, Duo found he didn’t really care.

 

Eyes almost as dark as Coby’s hair narrowed for a minute, “I know you, don’t I?  Oh, yes, I remember now.  You sat across from me at dinner a few weeks ago, right?”

 

“Very funny,” Duo replied to the sarcasm, not the least bit amused.  He had hoped that particular dinner would be the last he was forced to sit through.  “I’ve been busy.”

 

“Too busy to go out to dinner for three weeks?  Really, Duo, all work and no play and all that.”

 

The cultured tone that had once seemed charming now grated.  “It’s been a rough few weeks.  Finals are coming up.”

 

Coby waved the notion away with one manicured hand, “Surely you have time to go out tonight?  A group of our friends are going to a get-together over at Jean’s house.  You remember Jean, right?”

 

“How could I ever forget?” Duo drawled, recalling how the busty blonde had tried to seduce him into a threesome with her and Coby.  Coby had been open to the idea, Duo had not.  “I can’t tonight.  I still have twenty-three essays to grade for class on Monday.”  He didn’t bother to remind Coby those people were not his friends, nor would they ever be.

 

“Duo, you’re being ridiculous.”  When Duo merely stared at the screen, Coby seemed to give up.  “Oh, all right.  Free up some time for me soon.  We need to discuss our plans for New Year’s Eve.  You know I throw a party every year.”

 

Duo didn’t know and had no intention of going.  Rather than say that, he hedged, “I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t make any promises.”

 

“Call me soon, then.  Ta ta!”

 

Poking the button to end the call, Duo groaned and rubbed his face with both hands.  As soon as he opened his eyes, a glass full of amber liquid was shoved in front of his face.  “Thank the gods,” he took the glass and toasted Heero, “a man that realizes I’d rather drink,” he paused and took an experimental sip, then sighed, “whisky from a …is this a jelly jar?”

 

“I think so.”

 

“Whisky from a jelly jar instead of wine or champagne from a cheesy little flute.”  Playing the role, he tilted his face to Heero’s, batting his lashes.  “Pledge yourself to me and we shall run away together, never to be harassed by sissy candy-asses ever again.”

 

Heero perched on the edge of Duo’s desk, sipping his own drink from another jar, this one bearing a picture of the eternally infamous Bugs Bunny.  “It could be fun, but I’m afraid Wufei would hunt us down and kill us both, slowly and painfully.”

 

“He’s not a sissy, or a candy-ass,” Duo lamented, then sighed dramatically.  “Sucks for me; good for you, though.  That non-sissy loves you.”

 

It was still a pleasure to see Heero’s face soften as thought of his lover.  Although it had taken almost seven years for Wufei to convince Heero they could be good together, the dedication between the couple had only grown over the past three years.  Duo was close enough to both men to be tremendously happy for them, but that didn’t stop the envy that snaked its way around his heart at times, wondering if he would ever be that happy with someone.

 

“What did Coby want?”

 

“Same shit, different day.”  Duo rolled his eyes and stood to stretch.  Flopping back into the chair, he imitated the annoying man’s voice almost perfectly, “Oh, Duo, you never have time for me.  All you do is work and leave me all alone to spend my poor trust fund on people I’m either too blind or too dumb to see that you hate and finding ways to make us all one big happy family.”

 

Heero laughed at the impression, shaking his head.  “Let me guess.  He wanted to drop what you were doing and spend an evening with his friends – whom you can’t stand.  How close am I?”

 

“The only thing you missed is that Jean is having a party and he wanted me to go,” Duo snorted disdainfully, knocking back half his glass with one gulp, “Yeah, right.”

 

“Jean.  Wasn’t she the one that wanted to keep you as her own personal sex slave?”

 

“Nope, that was Chanel.  Jean’s the one that tried to lock me in a closet.”

 

“The threesome?”

 

“Got it in one,” Duo made a gun with his fingers and aimed it at Heero.  “Why do the rich see me as a boy-toy?” he asked, wondering if his friend had a good answer.

 

“Because you’re so pretty?” The prussian-eyed man teased, grinning as Duo groaned.  “I meant because you’re so smart.  That’s it, definitely.”

 

“You have a twisted since of humor, dude.  I’m so proud.”  Duo sat up straight, wiping an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye.  “It warms my lonely little heart to know I created a superb smart-ass.”

 

Laughing heartily, Heero held up his glass in a toast, “Here’s to the best teacher in the world,” he intoned seriously, blue eyes glowing with mirth.  “May he bestow his bullshit wisdom of the wise-ass ways to younger generations so they, too, may piss off their friends, acquaintances, and co-workers alike.”

 

Fighting the burble of laughter that wanted to come out, Duo barely managed to keep a straight face as he lifted his own glass in acknowledgement of the pledge.  “Here, here.  Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

 

One look at each other was all it took for the almost hysterical laughter to come spilling out.  Duo nearly splashed his drink all over the papers he needed to grade as he tried to set it down, saved only by quick reflexes.  Leaning back, he wiped tears from his eyes.  “Man, I needed that.”

 

“When are you going to get rid of that overly-gelled tight-ass and look for someone more interesting than a stamp?”

 

“Who says I haven’t tried?  He’s like a parasite of some kind, there to suck the fun out of any free time I manage to find.”

 

“You need to be firm, and blunt.  I don’t think anything less will work,” commented Heero, his brow creased in thought.

 

“You can’t be more blunt than telling someone you aren’t interested in going out anymore, not even as friends.”  With a huff, Duo finished his whisky in a few quick swallows, gasping as the liquid burned down his throat.  “He had the nerve to ask me when we could have sex not even three minutes after I told him that.”

 

“What did you say to that?’

 

“That I would prefer to fuck a turnip.”

 

Heero stared at him for a moment, “Did you really say that?”

 

Aware of how pathetic it sounded, Duo nodded.  “Coby has a selective memory, or his is defective, because he called the next day like nothing had changed.  I did my best to explain I had no intention of ever sleeping with him.  Eventually I said I’d sleep with Jean before considering him as a sexual partner, and he asked if he could watch.”

 

Seeing Heero staring into his own empty glass with a thoughtful expression, Duo waited for whatever his roommate had to say.  “How long did you go out with Coby?”

 

“Four very long and dull months, that he seems to want to stretch to five.”

 

“Four months and you never considered sleeping with him?  Not once?’

 

Knowing where this was leading, Duo searched his desk for his glasses, mumbling thanks when Heero handed them to him.  “Nope, didn’t even think about it until he brought it up.”

 

“Don’t you find that strange, Duo?”

 

“Not really.”  Duo grabbed the stack of essays and shuffled them, rearranging them so he would read the worst students first.

 

Expecting Heero to lecture him on the need for physical contact, he lined up his thoughts to counter any arguments the other man had.  His thoughts scattered completely when Heero spoke, “How many people have you slept with in the last ten years?”

 

“I don’t know,” he evaded.  “I don’t keep count.”

 

“Two.  Two people in ten years and both of those you dated for almost a year before sleeping with them.”

 

In an attempt to play it off, Duo shrugged, “If I’d known you were so interested in my sex life I would have invited you to watch, or participate.”  A good way to get Heero to leave him alone was to embarrass him to death.

 

Heero’s face turned red, but he pushed on regardless.  “I just think it’s strange you haven’t wanted anyone else in ten years.  Not even Wufei and I waited for long after we…figured things out.”

 

“That’s different.  You two have known each other for years.”  Defensively, Duo hunched his shoulders, twirling his glasses in his fingers by the stem, “I didn’t say I didn’t want anyone else during that time, Heero.”  Needing to change the subject, he reached for the first excuse he could think of.  “I need to grade these papers, okay?  It’s gonna be a headache until I’m done.”

 

It was obvious Heero wanted to continue the conversation, but he let it go.  Duo wasn’t foolish enough to believe he had heard the last of this particular topic.  Heero was an outstanding strategist, an ability that made him valuable to the Preventers.  While most people thought a step or two ahead, Heero usually thought four or five.  Duo assumed there would be a plan behind planting the seeds in his mind.

 

Waiting for Heero to leave, Duo held his breath, letting it out in a whoosh as Heero asked abruptly, “Have you talked to Trowa yet?”

 

Glancing at the small daily calendar on his desk, Duo frowned, “He’s not supposed to be back until the eighth.”

 

“You’re running a week behind, again,” Heero said with enjoyment as he tore off the sheets to reveal it was the ninth, not the second as Duo had believed.  “I don’t know how you can be such a brilliant teacher when you can’t keep up with anything.”

 

“I plan my classes by the day, not the week,” he explained absently, his mind more on the date.  Not bothering to hide his concern, he studied Heero, “They okay?”

 

“There was some trouble, but nothing they couldn’t take care of.  They got back late last night.  Wufei’s coming by later tonight, after he gets some rest.”

 

“I’ll make myself scarce for a few hours.”

 

“Duo, it’s your house.  You don’t need to leave,” Heero insisted, but the words didn’t hold much argument.

 

Understanding, Duo peered at his friend, “It’s hard to have a romantic homecoming if you have to worry about your roommate walking through the house.  It’s no big deal.  How much longer do I have before I need to start looking for a new roommate?”

 

Heero gaped for a few seconds, making Duo chuckle.  Shaking his head, the messy-haired man sighed, “How did you know?  We’ve been talking about it, but haven’t made any definite plans yet.”

 

“I knew because it’s easy to see how you feel about each other, Heero.  You don’t think I see the way you watch the clock when he’s supposed to be coming, or the way you jump for the phone as soon as it rings?  It’s only natural to want to be together as much as possible when he’s home.  Living here doesn’t make sense for you anymore, just like it doesn’t make sense for Wufei to live in a Preventer’s apartment.”

 

“I don’t want to leave you here alone.”

 

“I’ve never minded being alone.  I’ll have a hell of a time trying to remember where I put all my shit without you reminding me, but I’ll adjust.”

 

“What about the bills?  I hate leaving you stuck with all of them.”

 

Duo snorted, “I haven’t needed help paying bills for a long time and you know it.  I’ll be fine as long as you’ll be happy.”  Sometimes it was hard to believe he made more as a professor than Wufei, Heero, or Trowa did as Preventer agents, and it was something he rarely brought up.

 

“I always forget that,” Heero admitted, finally leaving the room.

 

Duo diligently fought his way through three more essays before his mind began to wander.  Knowing he still had two nights to finish reading the rest he got up from the desk and walked out of the room, cursing as he ran into the wall.  The low chuckle from down the hall had him spinning, only to topple over when he misjudged the distance between him and the small table in the hallway.

 

Strong arms wound around him, keeping him from hitting the floor.  He allowed the contact for only a moment, stepping away as soon as he was solidly on his feet, attempting to control the pounding of his heart.  “You’d think after four years I’d start remembering to take these things off before I run into something,” he muttered, snatching the glasses off his face as he blushed.

 

Trowa smiled back, wreaking havoc on Duo’s pulse, “I like the way you look in them.”

 

“I look like a librarian,” he snorted, able to be amused at himself and the reaction he had every time he saw the tall man.  “Just stick me in a room of books and I’ll fade into the background.”

 

“You’ll always stand out, in my opinion,” Trowa noted, tapping the glasses Duo twirled in his fingers.  “They make you look exactly like what you are.  An attractive man that is highly intelligent.”

 

Flustered by the compliment, Duo shoved his free hand in his pocket, “I hate having to wear them, but I can’t stand contacts.”

 

“Bumping into an occasional wall is better than the alternative, Duo.  Your headaches don’t come as often as they used to, and they aren’t as painful as they used to be.”  Trowa smiled again before he removed his hand, one finger trailing lightly on Duo’s hand, making him suppress a tremble.  “Where were you going before the wall got in your way?”

 

Rolling his eyes and hiding the desire he felt every time he saw his friend, Duo turned toward his own room to change clothes.  He couldn’t go out in public wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt with multiple tears in it.  “I promised Heero I’d scram for a few hours so he could have some private time with Wufei.”

 

“You do realize Wufei has an apartment all to himself at the base?”

 

Reaching his room, Duo yanked his shirt over his head, tossing it into the basket into the corner.  “Yep, just like I realize those walls are paper thin.  You can probably tell me what your neighbor cooked for dinner tonight by smelling it through the wall.”

 

“I think it was spaghetti,” Trowa shrugged when Duo glanced at him.  “I see your point.”

 

Stepping into his closet, Duo chose a red t-shirt and slipped it on.  Crouching down, he located the pants he was searching for, old and worn but comfortable, the denim so worn in some places it was as soft as suede.  “I’ve walked through your building before, man.  Either some of those agents were getting down and dirty or they watch some really weird shit on TV.  I don’t think Wufei or Heero would appreciate their co-workers being able to eavesdrop on their sex life.”

 

Bending over to pull the pants up, he happened to glance into the mirror in front of him, freezing when he discovered Trowa’s eyes fixed on him.  Sure he was imagining things, he blinked, only to see the other man was looking away.  Clearing his throat, he finished getting dressed then sat on his bed, wishing he didn’t want so badly for Trowa to look at him with desire in the green eyes.  “I’m guessing since you’re here, Wufei is too?”

 

It took a moment before Trowa looked back at him, eyes unreadable.  “Yeah.  I caught a ride with him.  I wanted to…apologize for not calling you last night when we got back.”

 

The hesitation had been odd but Duo assumed Trowa was still tired from the three week assignment.  “It’s not like you have to check in with me, Trowa.  You don’t owe me an apology.”

 

“You don’t worry about me?”

 

The teasing tone had Duo smiling, even as the words struck a nerve.  “You know I do.  You’re my friend.”

 

If Duo hadn’t been watching the tall man, he would have missed how the easy smile faltered for an instant before firming again.  “All we were doing was accompanying an ambassador on her vacation with her family; nothing dangerous about that.”

 

Pulling on his beat-up tennis shoes, Duo had to smile at the dismissive words.  “Heero said you had some trouble.”

 

Trowa’s smile immediately disappeared, his eyes narrowing.  “Christ, do you have to tell each other everything?  I didn’t want you to worry for no reason.  He should have kept his mouth shut.”

 

Stunned by the outburst, Duo aimed his gaze at his shoes.  Not understanding why Trowa was mad, he swallowed hard to force back a sob as his eyes welled with tears of hurt.  Knowing if he looked at the other man he might actually cry, he kept his head down as he stood.  Grabbing a notebook from his table, he picked up a pen, “I’m not a total idiot, Trowa.  I know what you do is dangerous and I worry whether you want me to or not.  From now on I’ll do my best not to bother you with my pesky little concerns anymore,” he said softly before fleeing the room. 

 

Going out the front door, he ignored the worried call from Heero, running as soon as he hit the sidewalk, the notebook tucked under his arm like a football.  He didn’t know how long he ran, or how far, and couldn’t find it in himself to care until he stopped, his breath coming out in uneven gasps, mingling with sobs that tore from his throat.

 

Taking in his surroundings, he found himself in a small park near the university he worked at.  He began walking toward the small coffee shop on the other side of the park until he realized he had left the house without even getting his wallet.  “Probably for the best,” he muttered, not up to being around people for the moment.

 

Familiar with the area, it didn’t take him long to find an unoccupied bench, secluded from the many paths with traffic on them this late in the evening.   Refusing to think about the incident that had him escaping his own room, he put his feet on the bench and opened the book, propping it on his knees and beginning the tedious task of creating daily lesson plans.

 

When he found himself writing Trowa’s name for the third time like a lovesick schoolgirl, he sighed, wishing he knew what had prompted the tall man’s anger.  Assuming Trowa didn’t want him to worry anymore, he vowed to hide his feelings better so he wouldn’t make his friend uncomfortable.  The idea was a good one, and had another upside to it, if Trowa didn’t see he was worried he wouldn’t realize how Duo really felt.

 

The burning need he felt for Trowa had started so long ago, probably even before the single kiss they had shared atop the Peace Tower on New Year’s so many years before.  No one had ever been able to evoke the emotions Trowa had pulled from him for those few brief seconds, not before or since.  At the time Duo hadn’t understood what he was feeling, but had been aware of the pain he had felt watching Trowa leave two days later from his perch on the top of the roof.  He still didn’t know which had hurt more – that Trowa had left or that he had done so without saying goodbye.

 

Duo had done the only thing he could at the time and shoved down the ache so far inside of himself he could ignore it for days at a time, surprising everyone when he had decided to go to school instead of taking a job right away like the others had.  For six months, Trowa had been the first thing on his mind in the morning, and the last thing he thought of before he fell asleep.  The rest of the time he threw himself into his education in an attempt to forget that person, that night, and that kiss.

 

Over time, he had thought of Trowa less and less and began dating eventually.  The two people he had slept with had left him feeling empty inside and he had ended both relationships shortly after.  He still dated but hadn’t considered sleeping with anyone else, wary of that emptiness.  Mostly he had filled his waking hours learning, attempting to absorb any information he could.

 

For three years he had thrown himself into his studies, not needing to work because of the money the government had given all the Gundam pilots, their way of saying thanks.  It hadn’t taken long for Duo to focus his energies on attaining his goal of becoming a teacher, becoming the youngest student at Chaplain University to graduate with an associate’s degree at the age of eighteen because of the multiple classes he had taken in a semester, allowed only after an IQ test had been conducted and proved he was practically a genius.

 

The day after receiving his diploma Duo had been at home, plotting the next leg of his classes so he could get his bachelor’s degree, when Heero had come home and said two words that had turned his life upside down.  “Trowa’s back.”

 

Unable to comprehend the meaning of the words, Duo had stared at his then-new roommate.  Finally, he managed to force out a single question past the pain in his throat, “What do you mean he’s back?”

 

“He came in today and spent half the morning in Une’s office.  It seems he’s come back to stay.  He’s an agent now, as of nine o’clock this morning.  He’s been partnered with Wufei,” Heero had crossed his arms and scowled at his feet.  “I’ll apply for a new apartment tomorrow.”

 

“What the hell for?”

 

“You told me what happened at the Tower, remember?  I thought you would want him here so you could work things out.”

 

To Duo, the idea was insane.  “There’s nothing to work out.”  When Heero started to argue, Duo cut him off.  “There’s nothing to work out, man.  There never was.”

 

“Trowa wouldn’t have said those things if he didn’t mean them,” insisted Heero, though Duo was far from convinced.

 

He had rolled his eyes at his friend’s naiveté.  “He wanted to sleep with me, Heero.  That’s it.  If there had been more to it he would have said something before leaving.  End of story.”

 

At the time, Duo had wished desperately that had been the end of the story for him.  He had wasted too much time thinking of the tall man and had no intention of inviting that pain again.  His hopes had been dashed one night while he was studying and someone knocked on the door.  Thinking Heero had locked himself out of the house, Duo had opened the door and discovered Trowa on the other side, looking even better than he had as a teen.  Before he could speak, the other man did, causing a shiver to run up Duo’s spine at the low tone that he had to hide.  “Hello, Duo.  I know this is a surprise, but I wanted to see you.”

 

The old pain welled up again, helping him keep his eyes cool and his tone dismissive, “I’m studying.”

 

“Quatre’s been keeping me up to date on your progress.  So you’re going to be a teacher?”

 

Lifting his brows, Duo tried not to notice how nervous the tall man seemed, “That’s the plan.  Was there something you wanted, Trowa?  I have a lot of tests this week and Heero will be home soon.”

 

Trowa had visibly jerked at the news.  “Heero lives here?  I thought he had an apartment at the Preventer’s complex?”

 

“He did until about four months ago; he moved in here so someone else could have the space he wasn’t really using.”

 

“Oh.  Well, I wanted to explain why I just left that last time.”

 

“When?” It was hard to keep his tone nonchalant, but Duo managed by biting into his own cheek and focusing on that.

 

“After the war; after New Year’s Eve.”

 

“Hmm?  Oh, that.  Don’t worry about it.  I haven’t thought of that in a long time,” he lied smoothly, getting the pleasure of seeing green eyes widen as he leaned against the door jamb.  “I really am too busy to reminisce, man.  Nice to see you again, though,” he added before shutting the door in Trowa’s face.

 

That hadn’t been the end of it, much to his dismay.  Trowa’s name was brought up often in conversation with Heero or Wufei.  Even Quatre would causally mention the tall green-eyed man on a regular basis.  For almost eight months, Duo had tried to avoid the other man with little success.  After a while he had begun to thaw in Trowa’s presence enough so they could actually talk.  Over the next two years they had become friends instead of acquaintances and Duo found himself looking forward to the time they spent together.

 

It took a long time for him to realize his feelings for Trowa hadn’t gone away, but had gotten stronger than they had been before.  After that discovery, he had started dating again, keeping both his personal and business life busy in order to avoid the tall man, and eventually admitting everything to Heero when his roommate had demanded an explanation for his erratic behavior.  Heero had called him an ass, saying Trowa had become withdrawn while he was occupied with his own life.

 

Realizing he wasn’t just hurting himself, Duo had made an effort to spend more time with Trowa.  As a result their friendship had grown stronger, so strong Trowa remained unaffected when Duo dated.  Duo’s problem was that his own feelings had continued to grow and he had to continually remind himself to keep them hidden.

 

At least, he had until tonight, when the hurt had been too great to conceal.  Fearing Trowa wouldn’t be willing to talk to him anymore hurt so badly he set the notebook aside and wrapped his arms around his knees in an effort to keep the ache from spreading until it encompassed him completely.  He remained in that position for a long time, watching the sun as it dipped lower and lower in the sky.

 

As the light began to fade, Duo heard a voice in the darkness.  “You might need this.  It gets chilly after dark these days.”

 

Taking the jacket held out to him, Duo glared over his knees.  “What the hell are you doing here, Heero?  You’re supposed to be spending time with Wufei.”

 

Sitting on the other end of the bench, Heero shook his head.  “Shut up.  Do you really think I could sit there with him and act like everything was okay after you ran out?”

 

“It’s not your problem.”

 

“Like hell it’s not,” Heero said fiercely.  “You were the first friend I ever had.  That means it’s my problem whether you like it or not.”  Giving Duo an intense look, he added, “Remember our promise.  No secrets.”

 

“Hell, man.  I wasn’t trying to keep secrets.  I just feel like shit because I ruined your time with Wufei.  I know you guys don’t get enough time together.”

 

“The promise, Duo.  Stop trying to change the subject.”

 

The promise Heero spoke of was one they had made after Heero moved in, both understanding how hard it was to confide in someone.  It had been suggested by Duo as a joke at first, until they had both realized how difficult it was to trust someone with every part of who you were.  After agreeing neither could judge the other, the vow had been sealed.  It was the one reason Heero knew of Duo’s past, just as he knew the secrets of Heero’s training.  Over the course of almost eight years, they had shared a number of tears, eventually feeling lighter because of it.

 

Though it still went against his nature to share his innermost feelings, Duo took a moment to figure out what he wanted to say, not willing to break a promise.  “Apparently Trowa doesn’t want me to worry about him, and he got mad you had told me there had been some trouble,” he snorted, still aching from the way Trowa had shouted at him, something the tall man had never done before.  “I’ll have to start working on a way to hide how I feel better, or stop caring.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Heero’s tone conveyed his feelings on the matter.  “I don’t know what he said, but I’m sure he didn’t mean to be cruel.”

 

“I didn’t say he was cruel.  He wasn’t.  He wasn’t mean or anything like that, he was just mad.”

 

“That was enough to hurt you, wasn’t it?”

 

Shoulders slumping at the soft question, Duo nodded.  “I’m a complete idiot, you know.  Who the hell waits so long in the hopes the person they actually want will show some sort of interest in them?”

 

“Wufei.”

 

Turning startled eyes to Heero, Duo blinked, then burst out laughing.  “At least I’m in good company, right?  I doubt my resolution will be as pleasant as yours will be.  You were oblivious.  Trowa’s not interested.  There’s a big difference.”

 

“You know there’s a way to find out.”

 

“I am not confessing how I feel, so don’t even go there.”

 

“Go to the Tower on New Year’s Eve, like you agreed.”

 

“I can’t go there every year, hoping it’s the right one.  I can’t remember when we were supposed to meet,” he frowned, trying to recall the date.  “It could have been last year, or next year.”

 

“It’s this year, less than a month from now.  The war ended AC 195.”

 

The implications of the date set in.  Sarcastically, Duo drawled, “What am I supposed to do, show up and hope he does the same?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“In theory, it’s a good idea, but I don’t know if I want to.  All he wanted was sex.  Even if he showed up it wouldn’t really mean anything other than he wants to sleep with me.  I don’t believe I could live with that, Heero.  It would hurt too damn bad.”

 

“It would be a risk,” agreed the blue-eyed man.  Slapping Duo’s legs off the bench, he stood.  “Let’s go home before it gets too dark to see.”  Seeing Duo’s hesitation, he shook his head, “I sent Wufei and Trowa home.  If it makes you feel any better, Trowa looked as upset as you did.”


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