Warnings and disclaimers on first part.
THE END OF THE MUNDANE – PART 2
Friends.
There are times when that word sticks in my throat like a stubborn gob of peanut butter and threatens to choke the very life out of me. Sitting behind my desk I stare at my blank computer monitor and admit sometimes the thought of being friends with Duo eats away at my very soul.
It’s not that I don’t care for Duo; I do, far too much for it to be termed friendship anymore. The thing that bothers me is that Duo is friends with everyone. It’s impossible to resist the wide-eyed charm Duo carries with him. He never goes to lunch alone when he’s actually in the building and he’s constantly surrounded by agents from his own teams and others. Being lumped in with all those other people as a friend is enough to make me want to claw their eyes out...or my own.
I can’t be angry at Duo for this; he doesn’t realize what he does, totally unaware of how he draws people to him. The truth is that I’ve wanted Duo as more than a friend, much more, for years. The yearning for the long-haired man started long ago and instead of fading as I wished, it has continued to grow stronger. This is why I limit my time with Duo, the desire to touch him every time he’s near is almost unbearable. I hope by touching him I’ll draw some of that vitality into myself, at least enough for him to notice me in a way he doesn’t now.
Looking down at my fingers, I stare at the three strands of hair that had stuck to my hand after touching Duo’s head. I hadn’t even pulled but the fine hairs had remained attached after I removed my hand and I choose to keep them even as I realize I am beyond infatuated, opting to think of them as some sort of strange gift to remind me of him when he is away.
When I see movement at my door I jerk my hand down, hiding the strands of silky hair guiltily, like a kid caught with a hand in a cookie jar. Keeping my face placid, I look up to find Une watching me with a curious expression. “You were late,” she says, her voice holding no anger.
“I went to see Duo. His bike was in the garage. Have you read his report?”
“Yes. Have you?”
“Not yet. He gave me the highlights. I don’t think it would be wise to include Duo in the interrogation. If he gets his hands on the man that fired the shot that killed Lincoln, I don’t think that particular man will make it to trial.”
“Do you wish to have the honor, or should I?”
Few people understand my mind the way Une does. “I’d like to have the privilege.”
“Read the report and conduct the interrogation this afternoon. I don’t have to tell you I’ll be displeased if he doesn’t make it back to the holding area in one piece.”
“He’ll live,” I grunt, though I would love to kill the man that caused Duo pain. Unfortunately, Une doesn’t approve of the interrogation techniques she employed during the war. This man deserves the chance to experience some of the agony Duo feels.
Une’s eyebrows disappear into her hairline. “You’re pissed about this.”
My boss is well aware of my feelings toward Duo, so I speak freely. “Duo had to go to Lincoln’s house this morning to tell his wife she had become a widow. That’s something he never should have been put through. Yeah, I’m pissed. He was on edge this morning when I got here.”
“You found a way to calm him, I suppose.”
“I got him to talk about what happened, that’s all. You asked him to sit in on the Castillo meeting.” I change the subject before she begins to lecture me, something I don’t wish to sit through again anytime in the near future. There have already been numerous talks about how it could be beneficial to reveal my feelings, but I’m not sure it would be the best thing for Duo. I couldn’t stand it if he was awkward around me after learning how I feel. Being a despised ‘friend’ is better than being nothing at all.
She watches me for a minute then shakes her head lightly, her eyes telling me she’s willing to let it go… for the moment. “Castillo is gaining power and followers every day. Duo has a quick mind and often sees alternate ways to deal with a situation. Our intel shows we have less than a month before Castillo stops working behind the scene and steps into the light to run for a position in government at the elections. This situation has to be dealt with before then. He has enough followers to win and that must be avoided at all costs.”
After Une leaves I continue to contemplate the situation with Castillo, and the one with Duo. Both subjects remain in the back of my mind as I work, but a resolution eludes me. During the morning I find the time to read the detailed report Duo sent. It is a testament to his team’s abilities any of them returned alive, but I don’t believe that information will make Duo feel any better about the outcome. If it had been another team, and another leader, the death toll would have been higher. It’s only my knowledge of Duo that helps me to see that, to him, one death is too many.
It isn’t surprising to read Duo had been in lead position while getting his team out, nor is it a shock to discover he carried Lincoln’s lifeless body out of the area while bullets were still flying. My friend would never leave an agent behind. I’m proud of him, even as I wish he wouldn’t take such so many risks with his own life. If he knew how I feel would he continue to make such reckless decisions? The thought has me snorting with humor. If he changed he wouldn’t be the Duo I love and am so proud of.
The detour to see Duo this morning put me farther behind than I believed possible, and I work hard all morning to catch up. After requesting the use of an interrogation room for this afternoon, I sense motion at my door for the second time in one day. Again, Une is watching me, this time accompanied by Sally, her belly bulging.
As I watch Sally, she winces and rubs at her back. “Are you okay?” the thought of her going into labor terrifies me and I hope I’m nowhere to be found when it occurs.
Even with her bulk she moves gracefully to a chair, sitting down and sighing as she lifts her feet to rest on the small footstool I bought with her in mind. Giving me a smile, she nods, “Tired of feeling like a beached whale,” she laughs lightly, wincing again. “Kid’s kicking like mad,” she mutters, then sighs as she begins to stand.
I can’t bear the sight of her struggling to get up and quickly make my way around the desk to offer her an arm. She allows me to help her up with a grateful smile, tucking her arm in mine once she’s standing. It’s weird to realize I’m taller than her now by at least six or seven inches as she looks up at me with a smile, “We need to get to the conference room or we’ll be late.”
Stunned, I glare at the clock, as if my running behind is its fault. Mumbling a curse I search the surface of my desk for the file I pulled out earlier in preparation for the meeting, ignoring the amused snickers from my bosses. “The world must be at an end for Trowa Barton to be unprepared for a meeting,” Une observes.
Embarrassed because it’s no more than the truth, I keep my head down once I locate the elusive file. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I should have been able to get back on schedule this morning.”
“Maybe there’s something on your mind more important than a schedule? I, for one, am proud to see you break away from your routine for once. You’re too young to be so predictable.”
Since Sally’s teasing remark falls too close to what my own thoughts had been this morning I say nothing as we move down the hall. The conference room in sight, Une stops me with a hand on my arm, signaling for the redhead to continue on without us. “I don’t like sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong,” she says quietly.
“Then don’t,” is the advice I give her.
“I wouldn’t if I thought you would actually change a little. I’m worried about you, Trowa. There has to be some release for stress or you’re going to burn out. If you won’t talk to Duo you need to consider taking a vacation.”
Both ideas are tempting, and probably the source for my unreasonable anger. “If I’m not doing a good job, tell me. I can step down from my position and you can get someone else to fill it.” The thought is surprisingly appealing, and for a moment I hope she’ll take me up on the offer. Before she can respond I lift a hand, knowing my temper is short today for reasons I choose not to dwell on. “I’ll think about taking a break. Maybe I’ve been working too hard.” The admission is empty as I ponder what the hell I would do with time off. Right now, all I have is work to fill the hours of my days.
“I don’t mean to be unkind, but I was pleased when you were late getting to your office this morning. I hoped there was a reason for you to break from your schedule, one that had nothing to do with work. It’s the first time you’ve been late in your career here. Even I’m late occasionally, a private life has a habit of spilling over into other areas of your life. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a life outside of work.”
She leaves me alone for a moment, allowing me time to get my thoughts in order. As I said before, she knows me better than most, and knows I’ll need some time to get my mind on the track it needs to be. When I enter the conference room and take my place at the table beside Sally, I’m mostly back in my professional mode. I listen with half an ear to the arguments already beginning from the opposing teams that have this operation at a full stop. I pay more attention to the file in front of me and try to put Duo out of my mind, something that gets more difficult every time I speak to him, or see him or…hell…even think of him.
All of my thoughts get jumbled when Duo enters the room, absently waving as he receives several greetings and more than a few offers of consolation about Lincoln. He meets my eyes for a moment and I see him jolt before averting his eyes and moving around the table, crouching down in front of Sally and splaying a hand across her belly, grinning when she moves it a few inches to the left, “What a kick!” he exclaims, completely unselfconscious about touching what belongs to another man. “He’s gonna be a great soccer player like his Uncle Trowa,” he winks at Sally, “but Uncle Duo will having him playing an mean game of basketball.”
I see Sally relax as Duo teases her, another talent he has. “We don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”
“It’s a boy,” he says with such absolute faith it’s almost impossible not to believe. I frown as his smile abruptly fades into an expression of worry, his eyes darkening, “We need to get you to the hospital, Sally.”
All movement in the room stills at the soft declaration. Filling with concern, I watch Sally shift in her chair with another wince. “Don’t be silly. We have to get this meeting under way,” she comments, but her tone is far from steady.
Violet eyes still on Sally, Duo addresses Une, “Call Wufei and tell him to bring their car to the front of the building.”
“What’s wrong?” I finally ask, panicking at the thought of one of my friends in trouble.
Patting the hand that has moved to grip his arm, Duo smiles with enough brilliance that Sally blinks. “Nothing’s wrong. Little man here wants to put in an early arrival. You’re having pain in your lower back that keeps coming back every few minutes, right?” he asks when Sally starts to shake her head. She subsides and gives him a small nod, making him chuckle under his breath, “That would be a contraction. Still mild, so you have plenty of time to get to the hospital. Can we delay the meeting long enough to get our mama to where Wufei is probably already pacing?”
I have no idea what to do and am amazed how well Duo seems to be dealing with what is happening. Deciding Sally probably shouldn’t be walking I grab her chair and steer it out of the room with her in it. He takes over driving as I run to her office and grab her purse, which she insists she can’t leave without. By the time I get back to where they are waiting at the elevator doors Duo’s face is shades paler than Sally’s, scaring me until I see she has his arm in a death grip, right on the exact spot where he was shot.
Maneuvering the chair into the elevator, Duo tells her, “I bet Wufei is freaking out.”.
Laughing weakly, she moves her grip to his forearm, Duo’s color improving immediately. “Wufei never freaks out.”
“Sure he does, he just does it quietly and with honor,” he surprises a laugh out of both me and Sally, laughing harder when we make it to the front of the building and find Wufei pacing frantically, muttering under his breath. “See? I told you he’d be freaking out.”
It only takes a few minutes to get Sally in the car, Duo tucking his cell phone in her hand and suggesting she make any calls, as Wufei is in full panic mode and apparently worrying he’ll forget how to get to the hospital. Walking back to the elevator and pushing the now empty chair, I have to ask, “How did you know?”
“Hilde’s labor was the same way,” he flexes his arm, wincing and holding onto the wound with his other hand, blood staining the previously clean bandage. I’ll have to get him to the infirmary later to have it taken care of. “It took a long time to realize she was in labor and by the time we got her to the hospital it was almost too late. It’s a memory I’m not likely to forget anytime soon.” His face grows somewhat tortured and he speaks so faintly I almost don’t hear him. “Maybe this is fate’s way of telling me Lincoln’s death wasn’t my fault.”
Needing to help him feel better I put my arms around him in the relative silence of the elevator, knowing we’re safe from prying eyes. He stiffens for a moment and then relaxes, resting his head on my chest, his arms wrapping around my waist. It’s wrong of me to take pleasure from what had happened to Lincoln, but I can’t stop wishing I could keep holding Duo forever.
Back to Part 1 On to Part 3