Warnings and disclaimers in first section.
Huh. If my last memory was of Trowa screwing me stupid in the pilot’s chair, why in the hell was I suddenly staring up at the ceiling of my cabin?
“You blacked out.”
The chuckled statement had me turning my head. It should be illegal for someone to look that sexy while wearing nothing by a very smug smirk. “A little bit pleased with yourself?”
“Mmmm…I brought you in here, thinking it would be more comfortable.”
“You thought right.” Stretching, I took stock of my body. It felt loose, yet slightly bruised. It really felt like I’d been in a fight, but damn…that was a good feeling. “What got into you?”
Trowa’s eyebrows lifted, “Shouldn’t you be asking what got into you?”
“I’m pretty sure I know exactly what got into me.” To make my point, I let my eyes roam his bared body, hissing when I realized he was hard again. Son of a…the man has amazing recovery time, that’s for sure. “I didn’t think you’d let go like that.”
“I had to sit there, talking to Heero, and do nothing while receiving what was possibly the best blowjob I’ve ever had...”
“Possibly?”
“Okay, the best blowjob I’ve ever had,” he admitted with a slow perusal of my body. It’s amazing what someone can do with a simple look. “That was difficult enough, but then you started touching yourself. There was no way to stop myself after that. You should be happy that Heero didn’t figure out what you were doing.”
The flash in his eyes had nothing to do with attraction, pleasure, or sex. It was one of hurt. “You know it’s better if he doesn’t know, Trowa.”
“I know why you think that, but I don’t have to like it.” Light fingers were trailing over my hip, but it was an absent gesture. “Duo, you know I’m going to tell him about this eventually. He’s not just my partner, he’s one of my closest friends, if not the closest friend I have.”
“Trowa, when…” damn it, there wasn’t an easy way to say what I had to say. “When this is over, when you go back, you can tell him whatever you want, that goes without saying. I do ask that you really think this over before you share this with him, or anyone else.”
“Why?”
I indulged myself by touching his chest with soft caresses, eyes following my fingers to catalog the thin scars that were pale white on his skin. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Rumors can destroy a reputation pretty freaking easily; we saw proof of the power of rumors while leaving Kol. An agent with a record even as spotless as I’m sure yours is won’t be able to keep people trusting him if anyone finds out you slept with a suspected smuggler.”
“You don’t want me telling Heero because you’re worried about my record with the Preventers?”
“Not your record, although that’s part of it, but your reputation, Tro. A rep in your life might not be as important as mine is to my line of business, but it’s still important. If word ever gets out that you not only worked with me, but slept with me, people will start to doubt your judgment. They’ll wonder if they can trust you with confidential information. Even if you and I never see each other again, that will stick with you. People will wonder where your loyalties really lie, if you are on the same side or if you’re slipping information to someone like me.”
“I don’t care what people think about me.”
“In this life, my life, I can afford to think that way. It’s a pretty normal thing for someone to want to stick a knife in my back because they aren’t sure about what side I’m on in a fight, but in your life…you need that unblemished and unsullied reputation. You have to be able to know the other agents you work with trust you, because if they don’t trust you, they aren’t going to put their lives at risk for you. I’m begging you, don’t tell anyone about us.”
“If we aren’t going to be able to see each other again, why does it matter what I tell people?”
“We might not see each other, but that doesn’t mean I won’t worry. I don’t want you to get hurt because you were dumb enough to sleep with me.” Yeah, I was going to worry about him. I also planned to keep an eye on him when I could to ensure he wasn’t doing anything stupid…not directly, of course, but through the contacts I still had on Earth.
“I’ll think about it,” is what he told me. Not the response I had wanted, but it was the best I was gonna get. “For now, there’s something else to think about.”
“I don’t think I’m up for another round just yet,” his mouth was already on my neck, nibbling lightly and threatening to distract me. “We need to talk about the Shoe.”
“So talk, I’m listening.”
He may have been listening, but it was hard as hell to think as he prompted me onto my back, his weight covering me before he braced on one arm, using his free hand to stroke me. “We should have the list from Esteban to add to the one he already gave us, so that’ll help. I don’t really think finding Quatre will be that hard; the Shoe has a lot of eyes and ears. Someone has seen something and will be willing to talk to us, for the right price.”
Completely on their own my hands latched onto him, one on the back of his neck and the other grasping his shoulder, possibly in an attempt to stay grounded to the here and now. The man could do some wickedly delicious things with his tongue. “Bribes?”
“Yeah, we’ll use some of the jewelry from Al and some creds I have put aside for that type of thing.”
“Is the jewelry stolen?” His voice might have been slightly muffled considering he was leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses down my sternum, but I heard the concern.
“It is and it isn’t.” Lifting his head he blinked at me, clearly waiting for an explanation; his hand was still busy, mind you. I believe he was trying to distract me, but I could be stubborn as hell when I needed. It’s a good thing I didn’t mind telling him this. “The jewelry was slated for destruction by the PSP. It’s all evidence from past cases that were closed.”
“How did your contact manage to get his hands on them?”
“I gave them to him to hold until I needed them for something.”
“How did you come to be in possession of them, Duo?” he was spreading my legs apart and up, teasing me with a brush of a finger on my cock and then across my entrance, making me shiver.
“I might have relieved the PSP of them when the shipment was being sent to a melting facility.”
“Was there other cargo on board you relieved them of, as well?”
“Possibly, but I’m not telling you about it, Mr. Agent Man. It wouldn’t matter even if I did tell you.”
“Why is that?”
“Because nothing that was on that cargo ship exists anymore. According to PSP logs, it was all destroyed.” I was not going to tell him I had tampered with the log book, just a little bit. “It was an unmanned vessel, so there was no chance of someone getting hurt. I needed what I got and no one else was going to use it.”
“Why did you need stolen goods?”
“I have to keep something available just in case I have to do something for Une. The kind of information she needs usually doesn’t come cheap, lover.”
“How often do you do jobs for Une?”
A long finger slipped into me, probing and stretching. “Every few months, usually. When there’s something you guys can’t get to.”
“Like when they involve places like Koleniko and Witches Shoe?”
“And Sodom and Gomorrah or when there’s a problem involving the Sweepers that’s out of Preventer jurisdiction.”
“You take too many risks, Duo. You should be more careful.”
“Careful and smuggling don’t go together…” my laugh ended on a moan when he found my prostate, using it against me like a weapon. If we kept doing this question/answer thing while he was torturing me, I was gonna admit something I shouldn’t admit. “Enough, Trowa; we’ll talk more in a little while.”
“Worried about what you’ll say?”
It was a challenge, but not one I was stupid enough to pick up. I couldn’t tell him everything I thought about; it’d put both of us in a bad situation later, once we were apart. There were enough problems without confessions and when he returned to being an agent, Trowa would be duty bound to act on any information he’d heard. “Yeah, I am. I also can’t take any more of what you’re doing. It’s driving me crazy.”
His smile was pleased as he moved up my body, replacing his finger with something larger and more satisfying, but I could see the sadness lurking in his eyes. I wished there was a way to reassure him, to tell him the past didn’t matter; I couldn’t do that because it would be a lie.
Things were getting more complicated than I had believed it could possibly get with every moment.
“Do you have any idea of the value of these?” Trowa was running a hand over the jewelry spread across my bunk, his eyes wide as he picked up a necklace with a ruby as large as his thumb and inspecting it closely.
“Couple mil.” I didn’t hide the snicker as the necklace slipped from his fingers in shock.
We’d lost another day due to his teasing. Instead of focusing on the issue of Quatre or the Shoe, I had willingly let him shift my attention to him rather than our upcoming foray into Hell. It wasn’t a difficult thing to do; Trowa was apparently insatiable, not that I was stupid enough to complain about that. He was an energetic and imaginative lover, more than I could have ever hoped for. I was sore and sated and my ass felt like it’d been abused like a jackhammer, which it kind of had been. All in all, it was a good distraction, but we needed to face what lay ahead.
His eyes were wide as he watched me, “A couple mil? As in million? You have merchandise here worth a couple million credits and you just had it stashed, with a friend, until you might need it? You must trust this friend of yours.”
“Don’t trust him all that much, but he’s smart enough not to screw me over.”
“What if he had taken something?”
“Pretty sure he did. There’s a set of diamond earrings missing, but I expected him to take something. He’s a small time thief, Tro. He doesn’t have the contacts, or the balls, to move something like this. If he had been stupid enough to try, I would’ve hunted him down and made him give me my money’s worth, one way or another.”
“That’s…”
“Mercenary? Yeah, but I’m a smuggler, not a saint.”
“I was going to say brilliant, Duo.”
“Come again?”
“Later.” Trowa smirked for a second and then shook his head, “You used someone without many connections to hold your stuff, one that clearly has a healthy fear of you. There was no way he would dare fence the stuff and cut you out. You probably knew what he would take when you got him to hold it for you, didn’t you?”
“I guessed he’d go for the small stuff that he thought wouldn’t be missed. Who would miss a small pair of earrings when there are so many larger things to see?” He really was getting to know me well…too well.
“How many more contacts do you have holding things like this?”
Now we were getting into dangerous territory. “A few.”
“Are all of these…cache’s worth this much?”
“Some are worth more.”
“Why are you still doing this? You could take the money from just one of these and live well for the rest of your life,” Trowa gestured to the jewels. “Why haven’t you retired and found somewhere to settle like Koleniko?”
“Boredom; I don’t like being bored.” As usual, it was only part of the answer. It was true; boredom is as much an enemy to me as curiosity. “Besides, if I quit, who would help you guys out with shit like this?”
“How long have you been working for Une?”
“I don’t work for Une. I do favors for her sometimes that I’m well paid for, but I don’t work for her.” There’s a difference in my mind, believe it or not. “A few years ago I got caught on the wrong side of a deal and ended up on the wrong side of a jail cell on L2-X448. Une got wind of it and bailed me out, maybe she bribed me out, I don’t know. She asked me to listen to a proposal in exchange for the favor.”
“That’s it? You agreed to work with her?”
“Hell no; I told her we had nothing to talk about because I hadn’t asked for her help. She still scared the shit out of me. I kept expecting her to put on a pair of glasses, roll her hair, and shoot me. She said she understood my hesitation and gave me the address of the hotel she was staying at and that she would be there for three more days if I changed my mind.”
“I assume you went to meet with her.”
“I was curious about what she wanted from me. I doubt she expected to come out of her bathroom wrapped in a towel to find me sitting on her bed, but she didn’t order me removed at gunpoint, either.” I had been impressed by the changes I had seen in her that day; she wasn’t the woman I had known from the war. “She knew what I had been doing and said she would turn a blind eye as long as I considered helping her out from time to time, as long as I didn’t get into anything more serious. It was a bluff to see how I would react, mostly. She had to know that if I wanted to disappear she’d never be able to find me again.”
“What did you say to her offer?”
“That she’d have to have me arrested before I would work for her.” Chuckling at the stunned expression on my lover’s face, I dug into my small closet, finding clothes suitable for the Shoe. “I wasn’t bluffing and she knew it, so I walked out of the building and left the colony. A few months later, deliveries were slow and I needed some fast cash so I found out where she was and paid her a visit.”
“On Earth?”
“I haven’t been back since Nico, remember? She was on a business trip, meeting with other Preventer heads in the colonies, staying in a maximum security facility that was supposed to be safe from threats. I still feel bad that I interrupted her that night; her partner seemed to be quite enthusiastic, but he was too loud in my opinion.”
I think the strangled sound that came from behind me was Trowa choking on his own spit. “You walked in on her while she was sleeping with someone?”
“There was no sleeping involved. Personally, she should have thanked me. I couldn’t have deal with someone yelling ‘call me daddy’ for that long. She really didn’t seem that upset when I asked him to leave, either.”
“I’ve never thought of Une having sexual relations before. I did not need that image in my head.”
“I thought she’d be the type to use whips, leather, and handcuffs; be interesting to find out what she considered a safe word, wouldn’t it?”
The noise behind me was so odd I turned around. Trowa was literally lying on the bed, laughing so hard he was clutching his stomach. It was a damn good thing to see, something I wouldn’t ever be able to forget. I never thought he’d laugh like that, without holding back.
“Leather…whips…oh God!”
“Not my scene, either, but the handcuffs could be interesting.” Returning to the closet I waited until he stopped laughing, probably stupefied by my comment. “She calmly asked me how and why I had gotten access into the building. I reminded her I was a thief long before I turned to smuggling. We did some basic negotiations, settled on a base price for the jobs I did, with the understanding that the amount would be more or less, depending on what was required of me. I was getting ready to leave when I told her to make sure she didn’t take rooms that had balconies anymore. The locks were pathetic and it wasn’t hard for an experienced climber to come in that way.”
He was leaning over, one hand propping his head up as I turned to toss some pants next to him. “What kind of jobs do you do for her, normally?”
“Nothing dangerous; sometimes I follow people where you guys can’t go, get evidence you can use at a later date. It’s usually petty criminals that could influence other, more important criminals, making them more dangerous.” With a shirt in my hand I paused, remembering some of the other things I’d done. “There are times when it’s easier to take the target out of the picture.”
“You’ve killed people for Une?”
“Only once; the rest of the time I start rumors inside the crime ring the asshole is involved with. Rumors are a dangerous, and very useful, tool.”
“The one time you did kill?”
“Isn’t something I like to discuss,” his wince told me my words came out as harsh as I thought they had. “I’m sorry, but it was…ugly. I wouldn’t have killed him, didn’t want to, but he pulled a knife on me. I was out of commission a long time after that.”
“That’s where the scar on your back came from. I was afraid to ask…it looked more recent than most of the others. How bad was it?”
His eyes were bleak, tormented likely by the fact that I had been alone when he had been with friends. “I got lucky, he missed all of my internal organs, but the tip of his knife broke off. I didn’t know it at the time, just considered myself lucky to be alive when he wasn’t. I started getting sick, really sick, a few days later, bad enough for me to go see a friend that’s a doctor. One minute he’s teasing me and the next thing I know, I’m having surgery to remove the shard of metal that was killing me from the inside. If I had waited a few more days, I would have died.”
“How long did it take you to recover?”
“It was over a month before I was able to go back into space and even then it wasn’t recommended. The doctor was the least of my concerns. I wasn’t bringing in money and I was running out fast, so I had to make some in a hurry. As soon as I managed to get it, it was gone, so it didn’t really matter.”
“That’s why you began using drugs, because you were hurt doing a favor for Une.” The calm tone did not match the fire in his eyes. I shouldn’t have told him that.
Damage control was suddenly a very good idea. “There were other factors, Trowa. I was hurt and depressed and damn tired of being alone all the time. Seds…they numbed the pain, mental and physical, for a while.”
“Knowing this, knowing what had happened to you, Une still asks for favors from you?”
Ah-hah, there was the reason for his anger. “She never knew. I never told her what happened. All she knew was that the target was dead and no longer a problem she had to worry about.”
“You almost died then, alone. How many other times have you come that close to dying?”
“There’s been a few times, but they didn’t have anything to do with Une. This is a dangerous life, sometimes getting into dangerous situations is unavoidable.”
“You chose to do this alone.”
“What else was I supposed to do? Call up one of you guys and say, ‘Hey, how ya been doin’? Feel like being a co-pilot on a smuggler’s ship?’”
I wasn’t angry, not at all. The words were sarcasm, plain and simple. That could be why I was so shocked when his arm swept out and knocked the jewelry from the bed before he shoved off the bed and into a standing position. “That’s exactly what you should have done, god damn it! All you had to do was call and I would have come.”
“You say that now, but be real, the answer would have been different a few weeks ago.”
“No, it wouldn’t have. Not a few weeks ago or a month ago or a year ago or even five years ago; it would have been the same damn answer!”
It’s rare that I can’t find something to say, but he was getting good at prompting me to use my backup, “What?”