Warnings and disclaimers in first section.
“You’ve got to be joking.”
“C’mon, Heero. I’ve heard it’s fun.”
“That’s one word for it. Another would be stupid. I’m not allowed to do anything stupid.”
“Quatre have you whipped already? I thought that would take longer, like ten years or something. I didn’t realize the sex was that good.”
Heero turned around to look at me slowly, eyes narrowed. It took a total of five seconds for him to growl, “You realize I’m a Preventer agent that works every day with a gun, right? I’ll destroy you if we do this.”
“I’m a smuggler that’s constantly on the run from something. You think you’re better than me? Prove it, Yuy.” We might be a little too competitive, but what the hell. It was all in fun, right? This seemed like a good way to see if I could still get the drop on Heero like I had in the past.
“You’re on, but I pay. I wanted to treat you to a day out. You probably need your money for…other things.”
I could have told Heero that I had enough funds to live on for the next fifty years, without tapping into some of the other resources Trowa knew about, but I let him go ahead and march up to the counter with confidence. Taking one of the stashes I had and putting it into a trusted bank had seemed like a good idea when I realized I planned to come back to Earth and stay for a while…or forever, depending on what happened.
When he handed me my gear, I had to smile. “What are you grinning about? Not that I would consider that a grin from you, but…you know what I mean,” he frowned, gesturing at my mouth.
Yeah, my smiles were lacking a lot lately. I didn’t have to wonder why; I already knew my smile pretty much went missing when I had realized Trowa was really and truly gone. “I never thought you would do something like this, Heero. You’re right, it’s stupid, but it’s also fun and a good way to relieve stress without anyone getting really hurt.”
“You haven’t done this kind of thing before?” He was strapping on his chest sensor and staring at the laser gun like it was some kind of new technology.
“Nope; usually when someone shoots at me, it’s with the real thing.”
While we snuck through the darkened arena trying to shoot each other, I couldn’t help but reflect on the day so far. Heero had changed since the war, almost as much as Une had. He was a lot more open and willing to talk, likely from Quatre’s encouragement. He had made jokes and asked questions and voiced opinions, all things he never would have done before.
If I had stuck around after the war, would we have become better friends? Was Trowa right when he had said that I had fit in? Had I been imagining the rift that I felt separated me from all of them? Was this a glimpse of the life I could have had if I had remained on Earth instead of running for the colonies?
By the time an hour was up, I wasn’t sure what to say anymore. Heero silently took our gear back to the counter and escorted me from the building with a series of grunts and nudges. He walked beside me for a while, not saying anything, but I knew he was there, waiting for me to talk.
“Why did you decide to stay here after the war, Heero? Why didn’t you leave?”
“I did leave, for a little while. I didn’t know what I was going to do. It was the first time in my life that I didn’t have a defined goal or orders to follow. I was on my own and confused,” he told me, steering me toward a lake, surrounded by benches.
Pulling on my sleeve, he made me sit, waiting until a jogger passed us on the path before tilting his head, “I guess I left because I didn’t feel like I belonged here.”
“Why did you come back if you felt that way?”
“Because after months of travelling, I realized I didn’t fit anywhere else. The only people that understood me and what I had gone through were here, most of them,” he aimed a pointed look at me that I turned away from. “This is where I belonged.”
Had I ever felt that way, felt that I belonged with someone that way? Yeah, each time I had been with Trowa. Damn it, how did I know he was going to sneak into my brain before the day was up? “You do good work with the Preventers. You really enjoy it there, don’t you?”
“I do. I can put those skills and enhancements to good use.” He shook his head, “I also like someone giving me an assignment. On my own, I don’t make the best choices.”
That was a massive understatement. “I couldn’t do that. I’ve never been the best at following orders. If someone tells me to jump left to avoid a bullet, I’d probably jump right just to spite them.”
“You aren’t the only one. Wufei is able to adapt better than I am; he’s somewhere in the middle. He can follow orders, but he doesn’t hesitate to argue when he thinks someone is making a bad decision.” He winced and shook his head, glancing at me apologetically, “I know you don’t want to talk about Trowa.”
“It’s okay. If you’re talking about friends, it can’t really be avoided.” I didn’t ask him not to talk about Trowa, but he had understood I hadn’t wanted to. “He has problems at the Preventers?” It wasn’t a difficult assumption to make. If Wufei was in the middle with Heero at one end, Trowa had to be at the other. “I didn’t think he would have issues doing what he’s been told.” But Trowa had fit in my life a little too easily.
“You know he grew up with mercenaries. They aren’t the nurturing type. He took care of himself, like you. I think he joined the agency because he didn’t know what else to do. The training was the easy part for him, but once he began to be given assignments, he had a difficult time following orders. Luckily, Une understood where his problems lay. Most of the assignments he has he either goes on with me or Wufei or alone. He respects our opinions and doesn’t fight us if we make a choice.”
“He’s been given assignments with teams before.” Trowa told me about some of those jobs, although he had skipped over most of the details.
“He led those teams.”
That made sense. I couldn’t take orders from people I didn’t respect, either. “Trowa didn’t have any problems listening to me while we worked together.”
“That could be because he trusts you, Duo. You understand him in a way that most agents will never be able.”
“You mean he trusted me. I doubt he still does after what I did.”
“If your positions had been reversed, he would have done the same thing. I know because he told me so. If you had been the one in a strange place, in unavoidable danger, he would have sedated you to keep you from being harmed. That doesn’t mean he was happy about it, but he wasn’t mad at you after he calmed down.”
“I’m glad to hear that. It’ll make it easier when I talk to him. What are we doing now?”
Checking his watch, Heero stood and pulled me with him. It sucked that he was taller than me by three or four inches now. “Quatre should almost be finished with work now. We could meet him at Winner and go get some dinner.”
“Sure, why not. Hey, Heero…I kicked your ass at Laser Tag.”
He tossed an arm across my shoulder and chuckled, “Yeah, I guess you did.”
I’ve had worse ideas in the past, I’m sure I had. The time I put firecrackers in the confession booth was one and another was when I decided I could teach myself how to rig a remote detonator. In all honesty, that might have worked if I hadn’t been nine at the time; my obsession with explosives began at an early age.
The point is, I’ve had some pretty damn bad ideas in my life, but none had the potential to end as badly as the one I had come up with. If explosives blew up in my face, the worst that was going to happen was that I’d end up dead. If this went the wrong way, death would have been a merciful and less painful option. It might not have been so bad if my companion hadn’t sounded so stubbornly pessimistic.
“Duo, are you sure you want to do this?”
“Take a look at that yard, Heero. It needs help. I’ve got some time, so why shouldn’t I offer a bit of help?”
Pulling the SUV to a stop in front of Trowa’s house, he gave me a look I interpreted as ‘don’t be a smartass’, but what he said was, “There are better ways to do this.”
“I need to apologize for what I did. This seems like a good way to start.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“You’re making it more difficult than it has to be. I know Trowa may kick me out of his yard when he gets home or shoot me, but what if he doesn’t? If he gives me a chance, I’d like to be at least friends.” I didn’t dare hope for more than that; I couldn’t afford that kind of hope.
“Being friends means you actually have to be here sometimes,” Heero got out and moved to the back of the vehicle, waiting for me before he began unloading. “Does this mean you plan to visit more often?”
Carting bags of garden soil, fertilizer, and a number of gardening tools, I gave him a quick nod. I’d been thinking about this since after I regained consciousness while lying in a clinic, thinking of Trowa being on his way back to his home. “Business has been good, so I can afford to take a break. I’ve actually been thinking about getting a house or something here and sticking around…for a while.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Quatre will be, too. Wufei will be happy to see you again; he’s been asking about you constantly since he found out you were helping find Quatre.”
He didn’t say anything about Trowa, for good reason. No matter what Trowa had said neither me nor Heero knew how he was going to react when he saw me again. “I have to do this, Heero; just like I had to get him out of danger. Help me with the cooler.”
“I could give you the keys to his house.”
“Finding me in the yard may be bad enough. I won’t go into his house unless he invites me in. If he doesn’t want me here, at least he’ll have a decent yard.” Setting the cooler down, I helped Heero get the lawn mower out, hoping I could remember how to start the damn thing. “I’ve enough water to last for two days, beer, soda, and enough food to eat constantly if I feel like it, thanks to Quatre’s cook. I have a full eight hours to play in the dirt before Trowa gets home and the forecast is for sun with a light breeze. I have Quatre’s extra cellphone if I do need anything, sunscreen to keep me from getting fried, and there’s a gardening center bringing me plants and flowers in three hours. I know how to call a cab or call 911, whichever one I might need, and I want to do this. Trowa’s yard is just…sad compared to everyone else’s.”
“He used to spend more time on it, but he’s kept himself too busy lately. I’ll make sure he leaves work on time this evening, okay? If you need anything, my number is already in the phone. All you have to do is - ”
“Heero, just because I don’t have a cell phone does not mean I don’t know how to use one. They’re impractical in space; it’s not like you can stick a cell phone tower on an asteroid and have the damn thing actually work. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay, okay, I’m being protective.”
“I’d actually say you’re being obsessive and paranoid, but we can go with protective if that makes you feel better. Stop worrying. Either he’ll want to talk to me or he won’t, but at least this way I won’t be sitting at the hotel thinking about it all day.” After making sure I had everything from the SUV, I gave him a shove toward the driver’s side, “Get going or you’re gonna be late for work…later than you already are.”
“I’m going, but don’t forget you promised to have lunch with Quatre tomorrow and if you don’t call Wufei he’ll likely show up before long.”
“That’s all I need, a predawn visit from Wufei.”
He finally left, the expression on his face telling me he thought I was insane. He was probably right, Trowa was likely gonna blow a fuse when he saw me, but I refused to leave the yard looking like that. If that was all I could do for Trowa, so be it.
The first thing I did was mow and weed-eat. I didn’t do too badly, considering one of Quatre’s gardeners showed me how to do all of that the previous evening. If he hadn’t, I’d have been totally lost. With the grass at a more manageable level, I attacked the existing flowerbeds; there were a lot more than I realized buried under the grass.
I had done some basic gardening aboard Sweeper ships and colonies, working in the hydro gardens used to supply fresh foods. Howard once told me I had a knack for growing things and I was desperately hoping that still held true. I did not want Trowa looking out the window in a month and seeing dead flowers; talk about leaving a hell of a reminder, right?
As a young teen, the process of clearing out dead plants was relaxing for me; apparently that hadn’t changed. The hour I spent cleaning out weeds was therapeutic, my mind wandering to places I normally wouldn’t let it go, making me consider what it would be like to live on Earth the majority of the time, which is what I planned to do, no matter how things went with Trowa.
Other than my Hellion I’ve never had a home, not for long. Solo and I were on the move all the time, always striving to say one step ahead of the gangs that despised our ability to survive and the soldiers that wanted to round us up and send us to orphanages. I learned early that it was impossible to outrun every danger, ending up in one of those orphanages anyway, but without Solo at my side. It had been my choice to take what was leftover of our gang and I think I made the right decision for them. If I had known what was going to happen, I would have tried to get everyone out, but I didn’t and lost everyone I cared for at the same time that I lost the only real home I’d ever had.
After the church, there were a series of ships and hideouts until I bought the Hellion. I guess it’s odd to realize my longest home has been aboard a ship that rarely traveled to Earth, but that had been my life. It would be nice to do what the other guys have done; they’d put down roots and let those roots grow until they were well-established. I could get used to having an actual home, somewhere to go once I come back from space where I didn’t have to worry about random space junk or pirates.
Yeah, I intended to make Earth my home, although I still wanted to do some work in space. I did have some legitimate jobs and I wanted to keep helping Une, which meant I had to keep my contacts current. It would be nice to be able to come home; I just really didn’t want to have to come home alone.
Regardless of what people believed, I did have responsibilities. Yeah, the Hellion was mine, but she constantly needed repairs for stuff. I had to pay docking fees, buy fuel and supplies and pay for upgrades when they become available. A ship that runs with smugglers wouldn’t last long without the most advanced technology. Just because I didn’t plan to be a smuggler anymore didn’t mean I wasn’t going to have to keep up appearances.
The smuggling business was about to become a helluva lot harder, too, with the Preventers spreading into space to do the job the PSP had been playing at for the last ten years. I’m sure smuggling would still be possible; there’s always someone willing to look the other way if they’re paid enough. I just didn’t know if it would still be profitable. I wouldn’t run the things that pay well and if I was being totally honest, the thrill just wasn’t there anymore. I had felt alive in those times in the past, dodging danger and using my wits and skills to stay alive, but I was able to feel just as alive when I had been with Trowa, doing something as simple as talking.
“Mr. Maxwell?”
I smiled up at the man staring down at me with wide eyes as he took in the mound of plants I’d already yanked out. “I’m Maxwell; are you from the greenhouse?”
“Yes, sir; I have several pallets of plants you asked for?”
“Good. I’m almost ready to begin planting. The owner said she would send a variety that would do well with little maintenance, right?”
“Yes, sir; she went by the dimensions you gave and sent a chart of what should be put together. You shouldn’t have any problems making your yard look nice.”
It wasn’t my yard, but I wasn’t going to go into that explanation, not that I needed to. The guy was talking a mile a minute, keeping up a running commentary while we unloaded everything and he gave me a hand-written sheet of paper his boss had sent. Was this how annoying I was when I talked so much? Damn, that was painful to listen to. I’d have to work on that.
The only awkwardness came when he asked for payment and I held out my wrist, where my information is recorded on a microchip and implanted under my skin. “I’m sorry, Mr. Maxwell, but I don’t have a chip reader. It’s pretty uncommon for small businesses to have them, actually. The technology is too expensive.”
“Sorry, I’ve spent the majority of my life in space. Is cash okay?”
“On Earth, cash always works. If you’ve always lived in space, why did you decide to live here?”
“This is where everyone I care about lives. It just seemed to make sense to come here so I could be with them more often. It’s easier for me to take time off than it is for them to get into space.”
“It’s really cool that you’d be willing to change so much to be with your friends. They must mean a lot to you.”
Looking at the house Trowa lived in, I gave a short nod, “I didn’t realize how much they mean to me until recently, but now that I have, I don’t want to be away from them all the time.”
“I wish you luck, Mr. Maxwell. If you need anything else, feel free to call. My boss was thrilled with the size of your order.”
Chuckling at the choice of words, I waved as he climbed into his truck. I wondered if Wufei had a yard, and if he did, would he mind me playing around in it?