Warnings: In the first part. Look or you might get a surprise.
Disclaimers: I don’t own them…duh.
Five days after Wufei’s visit, Duo’s phone began to ring. Checking the number he had fought tears upon realizing it was Trowa calling, but refused to answer. To make matters worse, the tall man had continued to call at random times throughout the day, leaving Duo more depressed than he had been already.
Six days after the phone calls had begun, a full three weeks after he his arrival at the cabin, Duo was no closer to going home. When the phone began to ring just after lunch, he picked it up to stare at the familiar number until it quieted before dropping it to the table with a sigh. Abruptly feeling like the walls were closing in on him, he changed clothes and made a hasty departure from the house, moving down a small trail that ended at a dock. Without a pause, he dropped his towel and dove into the cool water, wishing he hadn’t done so as he was assaulted by memories of Trowa against him in the ocean, water sliding between and around them as they moved together.
Treading water, he questioned if the hurt would ever fade or if this was his punishment for loving what belonged to another. As penance for his mistake, he pushed hard as he swam across the lake, leaving the dock and wishing it was as easy to leave his memories behind.
In an attempt to exhaust himself, he swam as fast and hard as he could, turning back only when his legs and arms felt like they had lead weights tied to them, trying to pull him down into the murky depths. Weary and hoping he would finally be able to sleep a full night, he turned back toward the dock.
Still fifteen feet away from the wooden platform, he glanced up and shoved down the desire to remain in the water at the possible risk of drowning. He assumed dying would be more pleasant than dealing with the man that sat calmly on the end of the dock, feet dangling in the water as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Pulling himself onto the dock, Duo kept his voice even, “What are you doing here, Quatre? I don’t recall sending out invitations.”
“I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to jump into the water to save you,” the blonde stated cheerfully, ignoring Duo’s clear displeasure at his appearance as he slipped his socks and shoes on. “You’ve become a very strong swimmer.”
“You drove all the way here to tell me that? Doubtful,” the braided man snorted as he ran the towel over his braid. “I need a shower. Come to the house if you want.”
“How could I possibly turn down such a generous offer?”
Studying Quatre’s face, Duo saw no sign of sarcasm. Leading the way back to the house, he tried to figure out what the blonde was doing there, coming up with no plausible answers. Though they had always been close, Duo had been closer to Wufei than the others until becoming partners with Trowa. Clearly, he was now closer to Trowa and should have regretted his choices, but wasn’t able to feel remorse, not even with Trowa’s lover walking mere feet behind him. There was guilt and shame, but no regret.
Inside the cabin, Duo left Quatre alone without a word, taking a quick shower to get dirt and sludge from the lake off his body and out of his hair. It took less than fifteen minutes to feel clean and he took several deep breaths to prepare for anything the blonde had to say, vowing to reveal none of his emotions for the green-eyed man.
Dressed in a pair of shorts, he emerged from the bathroom, hairbrush clasped in his hand. Seeing the blonde sitting comfortably on the couch with his shoed feet on the cushions had him blinking in surprise. Moving across the room he headed for his chair, freezing when the other man spoke suddenly, “Trowa was right. You’re beautiful and your hair is stunning.”
“Uh, thanks,” Duo replied cautiously. Pulling the brush through his hair, he watched the blonde warily, like one would a wild animal that hadn’t eaten in weeks. “What are you doing here, Quatre? Not that you don’t look cozy on my couch,” he added, giving the feet a pointed stare until Quatre dropped them to the floor.
“Sorry, the couch is more comfortable than it looks. You must have taken a lot of naps here over the years.”
“Not lately,” the American mumbled. “When I do, I don’t have my shoes on.”
“Where do you sleep, Duo? I don’t see a bedroom.”
“The couch pulls out into a bed.” He usually didn’t bother folding out the bed, not seeing the point when he was alone; the couch was large enough for him to sleep on.
“That makes sense. With a house this small, you probably have to utilize all the space you can. I like it. What happened between you and Trowa?”
Duo blinked at the abrupt question, asked in a conversational manner, “Nothing happened. I already told that to Wufei when he was here. He also came without being invited.”
“True, but Wufei said you were very nice and understanding about why he was here.”
“Wufei was making sure I was okay. Obviously, he’s talked to you, so you already knew I was fine. Everyone knows I come here to be alone,” he emphasized the word, hoping the other man took the not-so-subtle hint.
“I want to know what happened between you and Trowa. Nothing else can explain why you quit so suddenly and I don’t believe the bullshit story you fed Wufei.”
Once Duo got over the shock of hearing Quatre cursing, he continued brushing his hair. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, Quatre.”
“Since the assignment four months ago?”
“It was after that,” he replied honestly after concealing his surprise, remembering the exact moment he realized he wouldn’t be able to work with Trowa anymore. “I didn’t tell Trowa because I didn’t want him to think he had done anything wrong.”
Quatre put his elbows on his knees, leaning forward to prop his chin on his hands, “The night you returned from that last assignment and I asked if you wanted a ride home, you had already submitted your resignation, hadn’t you?”
“Yeah, so what?”
“So why didn’t you tell Trowa? It would have kept him from thinking he had done something wrong. He’s been a complete mess since you left, Duo. I think he wanted to talk to you that Monday morning and you never showed up. You could have at least had the nerve to tell him you were quitting instead of leaving him to find out from Une.”
“I didn’t know what to tell him, okay? I didn’t want to have to explain why I was quitting,” Duo admitted, skirting close to the truth.
“You don’t care about Trowa enough to face him?”
Rubbing his face, the long-haired man sighed, “I care about him. I didn’t know what to say, that’s all.”
“So you do care about him?” Quatre nodded. “I was starting to wonder if you cared about him at all. I couldn’t understand how you could go away like that so soon after sleeping with him. I still don’t understand it.”
Duo jumped from the chair and paced the room, hair spinning around him, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he insisted, unable to face the blonde.
“Calm down, Duo. Trowa’s already told me everything. Even if he hadn’t told me, I would have known. I was aware of the relationship between you after the first night you spent in a hotel room together. I know Trowa well enough to know that something had changed that night; he wasn’t the same after spending that time with you.”
Sinking into the chair again, Duo did the only thing he could do and tried to take the blame, “Christ, Quatre. I’m so sorry. Don’t hate Trowa. It was my fault.”
“That’s funny, because Trowa said he seduced you. Did he lie to me?”
“No, but I could have stopped him. I could have said no.”
“Duo, look at me.” When Duo lifted his head, he was stunned to see Quatre watching him patiently, “Do I look like I’m mad at you, or cross with Trowa?”
“Well…no. Why aren’t you? I’d be freaking pissed.”
“Why’s that?”
“Trowa is yours,” Duo explained lamely, lifting his arms only to let them fall again. “If he were mine, I’d want to kill anyone that touched him.”
“That’s the way it should be, isn’t it?”
“In my mind, it is. Why aren’t you upset?”
“I’ll answer that if you answer a question for me truthfully.”
Already stuck in a surreal conversation, Duo shrugged, “Why not?”
“Why did you really resign?”
“I couldn’t be with Trowa without wanting to be with Trowa,” he responded with a frown. “Did that make sense?”
Quatre nodded, “You’re in love with him. Have you told him?”
“I didn’t have to. He already knew, but yes, I did.”
“You seem so surprised to know he was aware. Duo, anyone that pays attention can see how you feel about him. I’ve known for some time. I’ve also been aware of how he feels about you. It’s why I asked Une to put you in a room together that first night.”
Brain overloaded with information that didn’t make any sense, Duo gaped for several seconds before making his voice work, “You did what?”
“I asked Une to put you in the same room instead of separate ones. I was hoping one of you would admit how you felt, but I never imagined Trowa would be bold enough to seduce you. If he had admitted how he felt that night you both could have been saved from all the guilt and pain you’ve gone through.”
“He loves you,” Duo stated dully.
“Sure he does, the same way I love him. It’s the love someone feels for an old pair of sneakers or their favorite pair of jeans. Duo, the way I feel isn’t like the love you have for Trowa. I can only guess how much you love him since you went through all of this to keep him happy,” the blonde gestured to the cabin. “I wasn’t kidding when I said he’s been a mess since you left. He isn’t able to eat or sleep. Work is impossible, so he’s taken a leave of absence. He’s been sitting in front of your house in his car for three days, hoping you would come home so he could talk to you. When I heard you hadn’t come back I got tired of waiting. You’re miserable without him. Trowa is miserable without you. Somebody had to do something before you did something really stupid, like move off-world.” Recalling the brief thoughts of moving to the most distant colony possible, Duo winced, making Quatre laugh, “That’s what I thought. So, what do you think?”
“What do I think about what?”
“About talking to Trowa. Are you paying attention to me at all?”
“Quatre, I’m completely lost here,” he admitted. “I thought you and Trowa were happy and that I was in the way of that. Now you’re saying I was never in the way and you put us in a hotel room hoping something would happen. Did you figure out a way to put us in the same house during that last assignment, too?”
“That was coincidence; I had nothing to do with it. I couldn’t have followed you, Duo. The location of your assignment was classified and Trowa and I had already agreed not to speak until after he returned.”
Remembering the strange way Quatre always appeared at Preventer headquarters after an assignment, Duo had to ask, “How do you always know when we come back? You always show up right after we get back, but Trowa’s never called you.”
Quatre grinned, “That’s easy. One of my cousins is a Preventers’ receptionist. I hadn’t planned on coming to meet you, but she called and told me something seemed wrong, that Trowa seemed very troubled about something. I was worried.”
Duo winced, “I can believe that. Things were tense on the way back. I already knew I was going to resign, but I couldn’t talk to Trowa, not with the Merick brothers in the back seat.”
“You wanted to tell him, didn’t you? You had planned to tell him you were going to resign until you saw me.”
Wondering how he had gotten into this kind of situation, the American leaned back in his seat, “Seeing you reminded me I had no right to Trowa. Seeing you together helped me remember Trowa and I were over.”
“You weren’t over. You hadn’t even begun enough to be over. Are you willing to talk to him or not?”
“I’ll talk to him, but I’m not ready to go back yet. I really do need to give some thought about what I’m going to do next. I don’t want to go back to the Preventers.”
Quatre popped off the couch like he had a spring attached to his ass, smiling happily, “You can talk it over with Trowa. I don’t think he’ll want to go back without you, so maybe you can figure something out to do together. You don’t have to go back to talk to him,” he announced, pulling his cell phone from his pocket and dialing quickly. “Come in. He’ll talk to you.”
Seeing the blonde was already headed for the door, Duo panicked, “Where are you going? Are you going to leave us here alone?”
“Yep! I’m going to seduce Wufei and hope it works out as well for me as it did for Trowa. You don’t mind Trowa staying for a few days, do you? He rode up here with me and I made him bring some clothes.”
“What do you want us to do?”
The Arabian gave Duo a lecherous smile, “I want you to do whatever you want to do, Duo. I hope you’ll talk to each other and I assume you’ll do more than talk.”
There was no time to ask more questions, Quatre opening the door and stepping out while Duo tried to drag his chin off the floor. He was just beginning to understand what was happening when another man opened the door and stepped inside without waiting to be invited, the bag in his hand dropping to the floor as green eyes fell on Duo from halfway across the room.
Duo froze, staring at the man that had been his teammate, friend, partner, and briefly his lover. For a moment he didn’t know how to react, assuming Trowa would be mad he had left with no warning. When he looked into the eyes watching him, he finally saw the agony and heartbreak that mirrored his own feelings, as well as the cautious hope. “Trowa, can you forgive me?” he asked quietly, knowing the other man would hear him.
The tall man was across the room in an instant, long arms wrapping around Duo and pulling him close. “Don’t leave me again, Duo. I’ve missed you. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to see you again. I was prepared to follow you as far as it took, even if it meant leaving everything here behind.”
“It killed me not to answer the phone when you called,” Duo confessed, his face buried in the other man’s neck, held off the ground with aid from Trowa’s strength.
“Why didn’t you? I needed to talk to you. I needed to hear your voice.”
“I was afraid if I heard you I would forget everything else to be with you.”
Duo felt Trowa moving, gasping as he was pressed against the wall, his legs automatically going around the other man to hold their bodies together, hissing when an erection met his, the sensations strong even through the fabric separating them.
His mouth was taken in a kiss that began rough, surprising Duo when it gentled suddenly. His entire being sighed in pleasure as hands trailed up his sides slowly, causing tremors to run the length of his body. The kiss ended on a sigh, Duo opening his eyes to focus on the man holding him, allowing his emotions to show. “Duo, will you tell me? Can you tell me now when there’s nothing to keep us apart?”
“I love you, Trowa. I’ve loved you for years. I am yours.”
“I love you, too. God, I love you so much.”
“When did you tell Quatre what happened?”
Trowa snorted, “The night we came home. When you ran away from me I panicked. Quatre got me home and asked what had happened. I never even considered lying. I told him everything, but he already suspected most of it. He knew the most important thing.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Duo shook his head, “He knew we had slept together.”
“He knew I was in love with you in a way I never loved him,” the European corrected softly.
As strong fingers tensed on his side, Duo’s back arched, pulling a gasp from him. “Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me before? I would have felt better about what we were doing and I wouldn’t have thought you would forget me so easily. I didn’t think you really felt anything for me.”
“If I had told you, would it have made a difference? Would you have stayed, or would you still have run after seeing Quatre and me together?”
“I don’t know. I felt like crap, Trowa. On one hand I was so happy about being with you, but at the same time I had to face seeing you with Quatre. I knew I couldn’t live that way.”
Trowa moved them again, this time sitting on the couch so Duo was perched in his lap. “I was telling Quatre I needed to talk to you before we left. I wanted a few more minutes with you.”
Allowing his shirt to be pulled over his head, Duo shook his hair back, not surprised when long fingers delved into the tresses. “What were you planning to do with a few more minutes?”
A hot mouth was already on Duo’s skin, teasing his neck and chest. Trowa stopped abruptly to meet Duo’s eyes, “I was going to tell you I loved you and ask for a few days to explain to Quatre what had happened. I knew I couldn’t live with him anymore when all I wanted was you.”
Becoming distracted by the feel of hands on him, Duo forced himself to concentrate on what the other man was saying, “You want to date?”
“I want to live with you,” Trowa stated bluntly, smiling when Duo’s pulse sped up under his hand. “I want you to be mine in every sense of the word. I want to be able to touch you whenever I feel like it without worrying if you’ll turn me away. I want to be able to take my time when I’m with you, giving you every possible pleasure.”
Head falling back, Duo moaned as teeth nipped at his neck, trembling with desire. “You can touch me whenever you want, Trowa. I want people to know we’re together.” When green eyes met his in surprise, Duo winced, “I guess that’s not what you want.”
“That’s what I want. I want you. I thought you might be embarrassed to be seen with me because I was with Quatre for so long. There will be people that talk and wonder how we came to be together.”
“If anyone needs to know, we’ll tell them we have Quatre’s blessing. He actually seemed damned pleased with himself.”
With a snort, Trowa’s hands moved to Duo’s hips, pulling their groins together. “He told you about putting us together in the hotel room?”
“Yeah. Oh, that feels good,” the long-haired man noted as Trowa’s fingers scratched down his back lightly.
“Do you really like sex rough, or were you using that as a way to keep your feelings under control?” Trowa asked abruptly, his eyes darkening in a way Duo had come to realize was physical proof of Trowa’s desire.
“I like it, but I think I was using it, too. I already knew I loved you, but I was hoping I would be able to keep that to myself as long as you weren’t too sweet. Unfortunately, you kept doing things that made it impossible to ignore how I felt.”
“Good. Quatre gave me one piece of advice I intend to use, Duo.” Trowa said softly as he put his mouth on the long-haired man’s shoulder and biting lightly.
Hands finding the hair at the back of Trowa’s head, Duo clenched it, smiling when the other man moaned deeply at the move, “What advice would that be?”
“He said we should combine the best of both things. He told me we can still be rough, but also take our time and make it better. I think he was planning to use his own advice when he went after Wufei,” the green-eyed man laughed shortly, gasping as Duo’s fingers slid to the back of his neck and inside his shirt. “I plan to put marks on you, Duo. You belong to me now.”
“I belong to you,” Duo agreed as he was lowered to the couch, staring up into green eyes. “You belong to me.”
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