Disclaimers and warnings in first part
Weeks passed and Duo found himself spending more and more time with Trowa, often turning down dates to do so. He didn’t see anything wrong with it; he always enjoyed being with the tall man that exuded such calm and confidence. He chose not to think about it much, reasoning that it was natural to want to spend time with a good friend, especially one that he had recently discovered was much more interesting than he had at first assumed.
Although he didn’t think about how much time they spent together in a negative way, he did think about Trowa more often. Several times a day he would wonder what the tall man was doing or make a note to ask Trowa’s opinion when they saw each other, but that was normal reaction if you respected someone’s opinion…right?
At least he refused to think about it more than that until one Friday, less than an hour before he and Zechs were scheduled to leave for a three-day weekend. “Since we aren’t having our usual dinner this weekend, do you have any big plans?” the blonde inquired as he signed numerous papers requiring his approval to begin reconstruction on some of the destroyed structures in Cinq. It would be the first physical evidence the kingdom was being restored after years of gathering funds and support.
Unable to ignore the presence of Zechs’ secretary, Duo waited until the woman left before checking his calendar to make certain they were on schedule; he had no intentions of being late to start his weekend if he could do anything about it. “Going camping.”
“Alone?”
“Trowa’s going, too. It’s a place he knows that requires a two-hour hike. We’re supposed to leave as soon as you and I get done here; he’s already at home. We should be able to set up camp just before dark as long as nothing goes wrong.”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Trowa the last few months.”
The tone, as much as the words, put Duo on alert. Lifting his head, he saw the worried expression on Zechs’ face, “What’s wrong with that? Trowa’s a good guy.”
“I know that. I’m worried that you’ve shifted your focus to Trowa because he’s easily accessible.”
“I barely manage to get my GED, Zechs, so leave out the big words. If you have something to say, spit it out.”
“You’re smart enough to understand what I’m saying, Duo. Are you sure you haven’t started spending time with Trowa because being with him takes less effort than going on dates with people you don’t know?”
“I’ve been on dates,” Duo huffed, irritated that no matter what he did, it always seemed to be the wrong thing.
“When was the last time you went on a date?”
Grabbing his phone from the desk, Duo searched his recent messages, suddenly glad he hadn’t bothered to delete anything. “It wasn’t that long ago. It was…” he trailed off once he realized he had refused every date for the last three weeks, starting with the first time he and Trowa had lunch at the diner. “It’s been a few weeks,” he admitted quietly, a frown pulling his brows together. “It’s not because it’s easier to be with Trowa, you know. He has a hectic schedule, too.”
“You could go on dates when he’s busy,” the blonde suggested in a reasonable tone.
“I know that. I just…don’t like tying up my free time in case we can get together. I like being around Trowa; he’s a good friend. We like a lot of the same stuff and…” he shook his head, feeling defensive.
“You used to date all the time. Now, you only spend time with him. You’re even reserving your spare time in case you can see him. That doesn’t sound like friends, Duo; it sounds like a relationship.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because Trowa doesn’t…” Duo clamped his lips together, eyes wide with comprehension. After swallowing hard, he spoke the truth he had been avoiding for months, “Because Trowa isn’t interested in me like that.”
“Are you certain?”
“He’s never…shown any interest. We are friends, Trowa. I’ve been giving him some cooking lessons and he’s been teaching me how to speak French.”
Blue eyes were sympathetic as Zechs rose, crossing the room to lean on the edge of Duo’s desk, looking down at the braided man. “I know you’re friends. I just want you to keep looking for someone that will make you happy. Perhaps after this weekend, you should limit your time with Trowa to an evening or two a week. Put some distance between you before you begin to hope for more than he can give.”
The advice was still on Duo’s mind when he pulled to a stop in front of Trowa’s building less than two hours later. He was ready to dismiss the notion as ridiculous; he would have known if he had begun seeing Trowa as more than a friend, wouldn’t he? While he admitted finding the tall man attractive, that was a natural reaction when one of your closest friends was so handsome, so he didn’t think that meant anything.
At least he didn’t think so until Trowa emerged from the building in a pair of loose camouflage pants, hiking boots, a green tank top, and carrying a backpack over one shoulder, a sleeping bag gripped loosely in one hand. The way Duo’s heart skipped a few beats made it official: he’d been dumb enough to direct his affection toward Trowa, consciously or not. He wasn’t just attracted to Trowa, he wanted more from the tall man than he had been willing to admit and the realization frustrated him.
Making an effort not to touch the tall man in some way as he helped Trowa toss his stuff in the back of the SUV, Duo realized how much he had gotten used to touching Trowa. It was never anything big, just simple touches on the arm or shoulder in welcome or a hip bump to see how the other man would react.
He really didn’t believe Trowa would notice the way they didn’t come into contact with each other at all, but they were scarcely outside city limits when Trowa spoke loud enough to be heard over the music on the radio, “Have I done something wrong?”
Duo heard the question, but needed a minute to form a response, “What?”
With a flick of his wrist, Trowa turned off the radio, “I asked if I’ve done something wrong.”
“Why would you say that?”
“You haven’t said a word since you started driving, you’re scowling at the road, and you’re trying to strangle the steering wheel. Being an astute observer, I assumed you’re angry about something and since I’m the only one here…”
Realizing he was taking his frustrations out on Trowa, Duo made a concentrated effort to relax his grip. “I’m not mad. It’s been a long week and Zechs decided to bring something to my attention that I was avoiding. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
A hand on his thigh had him flinching, Trowa removing the touch at the small motion, “I’ve done something wrong,” the green-eyed man stated in a flat tone. “Maybe this trip isn’t a good idea.”
Aware this would be the last time he would see Trowa unless they were working or with their friends, Duo shook his head. With the facts in front of him, he couldn’t ignore his feelings anymore, so he would do what he could to minimize his time with Trowa. Already aching at the impending loss, he decided he would make the most of the weekend, putting his rioting emotions aside and simply enjoying the time they had left.
Releasing the steering wheel with one hand, he reached over to touch Trowa’s hand, balled into a fist between the seats. “Sorry for acting like an ass, Trowa. I think this trip is a good idea. I don’t know about you, but I definitely needed to get out of the city for a while.”
“I did, too,” Trowa agreed quietly, turning his hand until their palms met. “What did Zechs say to upset you so much?”
“Nothing I want to think about. You know how he can be sometimes; deep thoughts that he has to share all the damn time, whether you want to listen or not.”
“Wufei’s said the same thing before,” Trowa sympathized before falling silent.
Duo knew he should remove his hand from Trowa’s, but since the other man didn’t seem to mind the contact, he took guilty pleasure in the touch until he turned onto the highway and began up the mountain, needing both hands to steer as he followed Trowa’s directions.
Turning onto a dirt road that was little more than a path, Duo had to ask, “How in the hell did you find out about this place? There’s no way you just came across it by accident.”
“One of the men I dated a few times is a park ranger. We still talk occasionally and he recommends new places for me to go. This is one of my favorites.”
Duo didn’t have to wonder where the surge of jealousy came from as he pulled to a stop. Getting out and emptying the back of the vehicle, he wasn’t able to stop the next words that popped out of his mouth, “You talk to him a lot?”
“Not in the last few weeks,” Trowa replied easily as he shouldered his pack.
“Why not? You seemed to get along okay. How many times did you go out with this guy?”
“We dated for about a month or so before deciding we didn’t quite fit together.”
Swallowing hard, Duo locked the car and spun a finger in the air, taking Trowa’s sleeping bag and attaching it to his backpack when the tall man obligingly turned around. “Why did you come to that conclusion?”
“The only thing we had in common was a love of the outdoors. Beyond that, there was nothing.” Trowa turned to him, gesturing for Duo to turn so he could attach sleeping bag to backpack. Keeping his voice quiet, he added, “I also started spending time with someone I found far more interesting.”
While Duo wanted to ask who that person was, he also didn’t want to know, “Did you fit better with them than you did the ranger?”
“I believe so, yes.”
“Good for you. We should get going, right?” he asked with false cheer.
During the two hour hike, Duo was able to get his attitude under control by giving himself a stern and scathing lecture. There wasn’t a reason to take out his frustrations on Trowa; it wasn’t the tall man’s fault that Duo had developed feelings for him. It did no good to be jealous, either, so he resolved to stop acting like a total idiot as they moved toward the camp.