Disclaimers and warnings in first part
The self-talking did a lot of good. By the time they reached the peak of the mountain, where they would set up their camp, Duo was speaking freely to the tall man. Letting his pack hit the ground, he stood on the edge of the rocks and let out a long whistle, smiling when it echoed across the mountaintops. “That is so cool.”
He was leaning forward to get a better look at the steep drop-off when he heard a gasp behind him. Curious, he turned toward Trowa, confused when he saw how wide the green eyes had grown. “What’s wrong?”
“Please get away from the edge, Duo.”
“I didn’t know you were afraid of heights,” the braided man said with a frown as he moved toward the other man, stopping when he reached the circle of rocks that would contain their campfire. “How did you do all those tricks at the circus if you’re afraid of heights?”
“I’m not afraid of heights.”
Beginning to set up the tent they would share, Duo shook his head, “What’s the big deal? I was just trying to get a better view.”
“It’s a long way down. I had a picture in my head of you going over the edge and I couldn’t get to you fast enough.”
Thinking of how he would feel if he had imagined the same thing, Duo nodded. He had the tent set up and was hammering in the posts when he sat back on his haunches, “That’d be a helluva way to go, wouldn’t it? The landing would suck rocks, literally, but the trip down…it’d be the closest thing you could ever get to flying without some kind of help.”
“Are you suicidal? Was coming here a bad idea?” Trowa was holding an armful of wood and staring at Duo with a horrified expression.
“No, I’m not suicidal. I’m not planning to cash in my ticket just yet. I was just saying that it would be amazing to feel that free for those few seconds. I can understand why people would consider it. You know how exhilarating base jumping and sky diving are. You have those moments of total freedom from all your problems and worries before you have to do what needs to be done to get to the ground safely.”
“I guess I know what you mean. Times like those are the only ones you can really let go of who you are.”
“Exactly,” Duo pointed at the other man with a grin. When Trowa smiled back, he could see it was strained, “I’ll stay away from the edge, okay?”
The sigh of relief was audible, “Thanks, Duo.”
After it was dark, Duo studied Trowa in the flickering light of the fire. “Did the ranger guy give you any more information about places around here?”
Green eyes were startled as they met cobalt, the tall man nodding after a few seconds, “He’s sent me maps with several camping spots marked.”
“Have you had a chance to go to many of them?”
“Remember the hike we took two weeks ago? That was one. I’ve been to another, but that’s been it. There never seems to be enough time to do all the things I want to do.”
Leaning back on a rock, Duo stared up at the night sky, “I could imagine being able to stay out here for a week or two. No phones, no cars, no annoying messages, and no work. Sounds like paradise.”
“It surprised me when you said you enjoy being outdoors like this,” the tall man noted abruptly. “I assumed, coming from the colonies, you’d be more comfortable in a city.”
“I probably like camping and shit because of where I came from. I didn’t even see a damn tree until I came to earth. L2 and the ships all used oxy-recyclers to supply breathable air because it was cheaper than any other form.”
“L3 used a half and half process, half oxy recyclers and half oxy production. It was a good concept, but there was a constant worry that something would happen to the plants; the recyclers wouldn’t have been able to compensate for the loss.”
“As long as we could keep breathing, I didn’t think about it. Surviving was hard enough without adding the possible ways we could die; there were plenty of other things to worry about.”
Duo yawned wide enough for his jaw to crack, smiling when Trowa chuckled, “We should get some sleep. There’s a trail I’d like to hike tomorrow.”
“Somethin’ special?” the braided man yawned again as he climbed into the tent, pleasantly tired as he kicked his boots off. He had already undressed to his shorts and wiggled into his sleeping bag by the time Trowa entered the tent, giving him a wide-eyed look of surprise before unlacing his boots.
“There’s a waterfall on the other side of the mountain. It should be a three or four hour hike, one way. I thought we could try fishing once we get there, maybe catch something for supper.”
Propping himself on his elbow, Duo snorted, “I know how to fish, believe it or not. Howard taught me during the war during our spare time. I also know how to clean and cook a fish.”
“Why did he want you to learn those particular skills?” Trowa asked as he tugged off his boots, setting them in the corner of the tent.
“He thought it would be a good thing to know just in case I ever got stuck somewhere and didn’t have any food. He was always trying to take care of me like that.” Duo laughed lightly as he recalled the older man with the loud hawaiian shirts and large sunglasses, “I never have told him how much it meant to me that he took that time with me. It was the first time in a long time that someone took a real interest in what I was doing.”
“Professor G never did anything like that with you?”
“Are you kidding me? You saw G; he wasn’t exactly the type to embrace those warm, fuzzy moments that would form a bond of any kind between us. To him, I was a tool he could use and that was all.”
“If that’s what he thought about you, he was wrong.”
Looking down at his hands, Duo gave a snort, “That’s all I was to him, Trowa. I didn’t want to be anything more than that. He gave me what I wanted, in the end.”
“Deathscythe?”
“That was one thing, but what I wanted most was freedom. I wanted to get the hell away from L2 and all the crap that had happened there. I guess what I wanted most was a fresh start, a life where I wasn’t a nobody in a sea of nobodies.”
“That’s why you wanted to pilot?”
“Nah; I wanted to pilot because it felt freakin’ awesome. Having all that power at my control; for the first time in my life I thought I could make a real difference in someone’s life. If I could keep someone else from having to fight or losing their family, it would have been worth it. Not so sure I did what I set out to do, but at least I had a part in ending the war; that was important to me.”
“You made a difference, Duo.”
“That’s what I like to tell myself,” he snorted.
“You made a difference,” Trowa repeated quietly, prompting Duo to look up at him.
Duo’s mouth went dry when he realized the other man had taken off his tank top and was sitting on the end of the sleeping bag, looking at him with an intense expression. Ignoring the need he felt to lean forward and kiss the other man, he averted his eyes, afraid the sight of the muscular torso and back were forever burnt into his brain. “I’m glad you think so, Trowa. Your opinion means a lot.”
“It isn’t just my opinion. It’s a fact. You’ve made a difference in a number of lives, starting with your friends.”
“That’s sweet, but not true.”
“It is true. If not for you being there, Heero would have killed Relena, making the war last much longer.”
“There is that, although I sometimes wonder if I should have let him shoot her. She’s still a pain in the ass, but at least now she’s found someone to bother other than Heero. I was worried for a while that he was going to shoot her anyways.”
“If he did, it wouldn’t be to kill anymore,” Trowa reasoned with a snort. “A flesh wound is always a possibility.”
Duo heard a rustle of cloth, easily able to imagine the camouflage pants being pulled off long legs. Letting a breath out through his teeth, he flopped back onto his sleeping bag and closed his eyes. “Anyway, I’m worn out. Who knew that meetings with building contractors could be so damn exhausting?”
Trowa’s voice close to his ear had his eyes shooting open, “Duo, you made a difference in my life, during the war and now.”
Without thinking, he turned his head at the soft words, freezing with wide eyes when he realized that Trowa was close, very close, warm breath washing across his lips. For one blissful moment, he forgot to think and lifted his head the inch it took to bring his mouth in contact with Trowa’s. Riding on emotion alone, he sighed as Trowa’s lips moved against his, until reality set in and he dropped his head, scooting as far away as he could in the small tent.
When Trowa stared at him through wide eyes, he shook his head, “Christ, I’m sorry. That was stupid; I shouldn’t have done that.”
The other man lay down, cradling his head on his arm and still watching Duo, “Do I look like I asked for an apology?”
“You look like I just hit you in the face with a brick,” he stated honestly, breathing a little easier when Trowa gave him a smile. “You didn’t ask for an apology, but I’ll give you one anyway. I’m sorry for doing that, Trowa. I wasn’t thinking and it won’t happen again.” No matter how badly he wanted it to happen again, he wouldn’t force himself on the other man just because he had been stupid enough to develop feelings.
Trowa watched him for a long time before turning his head and staring up at the ceiling of the tent. “Get some sleep, Duo.”