This part is a bit longer than the rest, but I couldn't find a good place to split it up. This is also the last part, so I hope you enjoyed it!!
INTO THE LIGHT – PART 8
Instead of letting Trowa respond, Duo took the other man’s hand and pulled him to his feet, then led the tall man to his own bedroom, not because he thought he would feel more comfortable, but because it was closer. Stopping beside the bed, he began to unbutton Trowa’s shirt, only to have large hands cover his smaller, shaking ones.
His hands were brought to Trowa’s mouth and kissed lovingly. Looking into his eyes, Trowa spoke softly, “Are you sure this is what you want, Duo?”
Any lingering doubts disappeared in the face of such obvious care. “Completely sure.”
“Then let me,” whispered the tall man as he released Duo’s hands.
Duo didn’t have a chance to ask what Trowa meant before he was being kissed, hands framing his face, undemanding yet passionate. As warm lips moved to his neck, Duo sighed, holding on to Trowa for support when his legs turned to water. They took turns undressing each other, Duo feeling like he was going to melt at the light touch of the other man’s hands and mouth.
In what seemed like no time at all, Duo was lying on the bed as Trowa’s body covered his, not feeling smothered, but cared for…protected. With heavy limbs, he could only sigh in pleasure as every inch of his body was tenderly explored, tensing abruptly when Trowa’s hands skimmed up the insides of his thighs.
Feeling the first tendril of fear, he whispered, “Trowa?”
The tall man was beside him in an instant, kissing him until he relaxed again, only to tense as he felt the hand on his thigh inch up. “Do you trust me not to hurt you, Duo?”
“Yes, but -”
“All you have to do is tell me to stop and I will without question. Trust me.”
He was forcing his muscles to relax when Trowa was gone. With a frown, Duo picked up his head to watch Trowa search in the pocket of his pants, blushing when he saw the small tube. “Been carrying that around with you long?”
Face as red as Duo’s, Trowa climbed back onto the bed, “I actually stopped and got it this morning, just in case…well, you know.”
“I think I can guess,” laughed Duo, glad he wasn’t the only one uncomfortable.
“Just relax. Remember, we can stop anytime you want.”
The time Trowa had spent helping him calm down was wasted, Duo as tense as he had been before. Assuming Trowa would start where he had stopped, a surprised gasp was pulled from him when lips began to nibble lightly on his neck. The patience Trowa showed was amazing and before long, Duo was sure he was going to turn into a puddle in the center of the bed.
Rather than try to sneak his hand between Duo’s thighs, Trowa nudged his knees slightly until they spread, lowering his head and disappearing from Duo’s sight. When his knees were pushed up, he was about to question what the other man was doing when he felt a tongue swipe across the entrance to his body.
Stunned at the sensation, his brain took a few minutes to understand what Trowa was doing. “What in the – Oh god,” his complaint changed to a whimper as a tongue was pushed inside him, the pleasure overwhelming. “Oh god, oh god,” he repeated over and over, unable to think of anything else to convey how good it felt.
When Trowa lifted his head with a smirk, Duo was a bundle of over-sensitized nerves. He wasn’t given any time for his brain to recover before a hot mouth descended on his erection without mercy. Even with the stimulation, he gasped when a finger brushed against him. “Relax, Duo. I won’t hurt you.”
Repeating the words in his mind like a mantra, he focused on where Trowa’s mouth was instead of the digit prodding his body. He was so determined not to pay attention to that part of himself, he jumped in surprise when a finger entered him smoothly, causing no pain.
Trowa’s mouth was on his instantly, teasing and tasting. Duo felt light-headed but didn’t know if it was from the feelings inside him or the lack of air. When the kiss broke and he was still reeling, he assumed it was the former.
“Is it bad?” Trowa questioned, expression concerned as he watched Duo closely.
“Not bad, but different.” He wiggled his hips, fascinated with the new feeling. He knew if it had been anyone other than Trowa he would have already panicked.
Seconds later, he felt another finger enter him, stretching him yet not painful. Suddenly aware of a new kind of emptiness, he pushed back on the questing fingers, panting, “Not bad at all,” he gasped. “Trowa…more.”
“Not until you’re ready. I won’t hurt you.”
Writhing, he tried to be patient as he felt himself stretching around the long fingers. He was on the verge of begging when a third finger filled him, still without pain. “Does it hurt?” Trowa’s voice was strained, pulling Duo’s attention.
Green eyes were focused on him, Trowa’s breathing erratic. “It’s uncomfortable, but it doesn’t hurt. I feel…full. Are you okay?” he managed to ask with the part of his brain that was still functioning.
“You’re beautiful. I’ve dreamed of seeing you this way.”
The hoarse quality of Trowa’s voice and the hungry look in his eyes excited Duo more. He wanted to tell Trowa how he felt, wanted to say the words out loud, had opened his mouth to do so when Trowa hit a spot inside him that had him screaming in ecstasy, body bowing from intense pleasure. As the feeling spiraled down, he turned wide eyes to Trowa, “What was that?”
“Prostate. Nerve center that can drive someone crazy,” Trowa smiled as his fingers found that spot again and again, making Duo’s roll back into his head as he cried out over and over.
The feelings were intense, better than anything he’d ever felt before, yet not enough. Moving his hips he tried for more, stunned by his actions in the back of his mind. The part that was in control of him, however, knew what it wanted. “Trowa, I need more.”
“I want to make sure you’re ready,” argued the tall man.
“I’m ready. I’m so ready.”
Still, Trowa didn’t relent, driving his fingers in deeper. He did eventually slow down so he could talk, “No more fingers, Duo. The next thing inside you will be me, do you understand?”
Mind fogged with lust, Duo nodded, hoping he wouldn’t freeze at a crucial moment. “I don’t want to stop,” he assured. His breath left him as soon as Trowa rose over him, stomach clenching in fear.
The expression on his face must have told Trowa what was happening, for the next thing he knew, their positions were reversed, him sitting on top of the other man. “Trowa, what…?”
“You’re in control, Duo.” Taking a deep breath, Trowa found Duo’s entrance and pushed his fingers in again, deeper than before. Without giving it though, Duo tossed his head back and shouted in pleasure. “You’re in control,” Trowa repeated, gasping, “but you’ll have to be careful. I’ll help you, but you won’t feel like you’re being held down.”
Riding the digits inside him, Duo forced words from his mouth, “Why do I need to be careful?”
“I’ll go…deeper…this way. I’m going to hold your waist, but you’ll be in control. God, I hope you’ll be in control. I’m losing it just from watching you.”
Empowered by the passionate tone, he held his body up and moved over Trowa’s erection, swallowing hard as it began to penetrate the tight ring of muscle. It was actually surprising as he felt himself being filled with no pain, briefly wondering when Trowa had managed to put lubricant on himself. Hesitantly he continued to lower his body, grimacing as he began to feel the first hint of pain.
Trowa’s hands tightened on his waist, lifting him back up with little effort. “Slow down. There’s no rush. Hold yourself up.”
Following directions, he lifted his body until Trowa barely remained inside him, jumping a little when he felt a hand between them. It only took a second to realize Trowa was applying more lubricant, making him smile at the care he received. Needing no instructions, he lowered himself again, gasping as he took Trowa in, and then groaning as his prostate was hit.
Instinct had him trying to move, growling in frustration when Trowa held him still. “Tro-wa,” he whimpered.
“Please be still. You need to adjust.”
“Damnit, I’ve adjusted. I need to move.”
“I need you to be still. Please.”
Taking a close look, he saw the muscles in Trowa’s body were straining. The image was so different than what he had seen during his rape all of his fear evaporated. “Are you okay?”
Eyes closed, Trowa nodded, “You’re tight. So damn tight.”
Experimenting, Duo shifted his hips, smiling when Trowa groaned. Thrilled at the involuntary sound the other man made, he moved again, drawing a ragged moan. Feeling the hands restraining him loosen, he raised and lowered himself, gasping when Trowa’s length unerringly hit his prostate. While he wanted to say something to convey how it felt, the only thing that he could vocalize was a low moan of his own.
The pleasure was like none he had felt before, growing in intensity when Trowa grasped his erection, matching the strokes to the movements of Duo’s hips. His body was jerking erratically, uncontrollable as he felt tension building, centering in his groin. “Trowa, I can’t…”
“Be still for a second,” ordered the other man.
Sitting up, Trowa somehow managed to get his legs underneath him, supporting Duo with his arms. Duo was chewing his lip in an attempt to remain motionless while every muscle in his body was telling him to do the opposite. When Trowa’s hips snapped into him, Duo screamed in bliss. The other man froze instantly, “Do you want to stop?” he asked with a hoarse and raspy voice.
Understanding Trowa had misunderstood his scream, he shook his head frantically, “Never. Never want to stop,” he groaned, knowing the words were impossible even as he said them.
Over his own cries he could barely hear his lover, though Trowa was making some noise, mostly sharp gasps and deep moans. It was a start and one he was happy with, for now. His eyes threatened to pop out of his head when the tall man ordered, “Touch yourself, Duo. Let me see you.”
Aware of the eyes on him, he wrapped a hand around his erection, the added stimulation bringing him to an abrupt end, semen spilling over him and Trowa both. His shout of triumph echoed around the room as he felt hot seed fill him. Totally sated, he collapsed against the other man, sighing as he was lowered to the bed, Trowa’s length sliding from him.
Hands were running over him, caressing lightly and sending waves of chills through him. Blinking open his eyes, he discovered Trowa hovering over him on one elbow, watching him with a concerned expression. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I? How do you feel?”
“Trowa, I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me. As for how I feel,” he stretched his arms over his head, then hooked them around Trowa’s neck to pull him close. “I feel absolutely wonderful.”
“It was good?”
“Great. Amazing. The most pleasurable thing I’ve ever felt. When can we do it again?”
Apparently put at ease by his response, Trowa smiled, “Not tonight, I’m afraid. You might be sore tomorrow. A bath will help with that.”
Suddenly tired, he snuggled close to the other man, sighing in contentment as he was pulled closer. He was planning to rest his eyes for just a second, so found it odd when he opened them and discovered he was in the middle of a forest.
A noise behind him had him turning, braced for an attack. “Didn’t mean to startle you,” Trowa apologized as he stepped through some trees.
“I’m guessing we’re in your head? Your memories?”
“We are. It’s strange how we never show up in the same place,” Trowa observed, moving forward to take Duo’s hand cautiously.
Returning the grip, Duo pulled the taller man to him, kissing him soundly. “Personally, it should be stranger that we can walk around in each other’s heads, but…well, it isn’t strange anymore. It is strange that it started again for no reason.”
Trowa guided him through the forest like he was familiar with the area. “This time I called you. And it isn’t so strange, Duo. I did some more research after returning here from L2.”
Shaking his head, Duo smiled. He had considered looking up the phenomenon but had been afraid it had just been his imagination. “What did you find out?”
“It’s a rare occurrence and there isn’t much information beyond what I had already learned with the help of your doctor at the hospital, but the bond usually fades when it’s no longer needed. I don’t know why we can still use it.”
After absorbing this, Duo accepted it and filed it with what he remembered from what Trowa had told him before, while he was locked in his mind. “So we formed this bond when we were in the war together?”
“Possible, but it’s more likely it was formed because of the things we both experienced. Growing up without family, the rapes, and the way our friends left us floundering on our own.”
“I can see why that makes sense,” Duo agreed after a moment. “Why is the link still open between us, not that I’m complaining. I like being able to share dreams. It opens a new world of possibilities.”
“Perhaps the link is open because it’s still needed. I think it may be because we still use it. I wasn’t able to find any cases where the bond was permanent, Duo. If it doesn’t fade, I wouldn’t mind trying to use it other than to show each other bad memories.”
Duo’s suspicions about why they were there were confirmed with Trowa’s last statement. Pulling his lover to a halt, he shook his head firmly. “You don’t have to do this, Trowa. I don’t want to see so soon after we...” he let his words fade away.
A free hand caught the back of his neck, bringing him in for a firm kiss. “You won’t see the rape, Duo. Not ever. There is nothing you can do or say that will convince me you need to see that. My…problem…was only partially caused by that. There were other things that made me reluctant to voice any pleasure…or pain.”
“Trowa, are you sure you want to do this?”
He was offered the smallest of smiles. “I don’t want to, but I have to. You need to know why I am the way I am.”
Unconvinced, Duo held his ground when Trowa tried to move. “I don’t need to know. I don’t have to see this to know we’re meant to be together. You don’t need to do this.”
His smile less strained, Trowa kissed Duo again, prolonging the contact for several breathless seconds. “I want to show you so you’ll understand it isn’t you. I don’t want you to have any doubts about us, not if I can prevent them.”
“Okay, then. Show me,” the long-haired man sighed, realizing his lover was determined.
Squeezing his hand reassuringly, Trowa continued through the trees. They emerged at the outskirts of a small camp, multiple tents set up in a semi-circle. Trowa pointed toward the end of the camp, where several vehicles were arranged in a row. It took less than a second to pick out the only child in the group of men that milled about the camp, standing near the first truck.
As the boy turned, Duo gasped, recognizing the features even without the fall of hair covering half the face. Green eyes too wise for his young age looked into one of the tents as he moved passed, wincing as a large man came out into the open. “You, boy! Find me some beer.”
The younger version of Trowa stood up straight, “Cap says you’re not s’posed to have more,” he said defiantly.
Although half the camp separated him from the man and child, Duo could hear the sound of flesh meeting flesh as the man administered a backhand to the boy, knocking the child to the ground and leaning over him. “I didn’t ask what Cap said. I said find me some beer. Next time, keep your opinions to yourself.”
On L2 violence had been a daily occurrence in Duo’s life, even at a young age. He had seen children and women beaten so many times he hadn’t bothered to keep count, and deaths so brutal even evil Une of the war days would have been screaming. He was no stranger to violence, had thought himself immune to the helpless rage that filled him when seeing someone harm someone weaker, but either his own rape or the knowledge it was a young Trowa being hit for no reason made him want to slit the man’s throat, and he told his lover that.
Remaining quiet, Trowa turned his eyes to the middle of the camp, where a large man strode past the fire, his destination clear. Duo expected the man to take up for the child, fists clenching when an accusing finger was stabbed at the boy on the ground. “He’s not supposed to be drinking, boy. I tol’ you that.”
Already sporting a large bruise across one cheek, wide eyes looked up. “Wasn’t my fault, Cap. I tol’ him you said no beer. He didn’t listen. Not my fault he’s a drunk.”
The vicious slap forced the child, who had just gained his feet, several feet back, yet he remained standing this time. “Your job is to deliver the messages to the crew, boy. If I wanted judgment, I’d find a priest.”
“You said he couldn’t have beer because he’s a damn drunk,” the child seemed to realize it was the wrong thing to say, backing up before he was finished with the sentence.
Trowa had been young and fast, but the men had a longer reach. Seconds after his outburst, he was grabbed firmly between the two men, who had put their differences aside in favor of beating a harmless child.
Wordlessly, Duo followed his lover as the two men moved into one of the tents, various tools piled on tables and two shackles around the beam that supported the structure. He could only look on as the child was secured to the beam, not yet tall enough to reach the iron manacles. A gasp escaped his lips when the Cap picked up a handle with, not one, but three braided whip tails attached to it.
“You’ll learn to do what I say without backtalk, boy,” Cap snapped as the tails came across the boy’s back for the first time, creating three jagged welts. “You won’t make a sound again unless you have permission.” The whip came down again, pulling a scream of raw agony from the boy.
“From now on, you don’t make a damn noise,” the whip came down again, and again, and again, until the child’s back was a mass of bruises, cuts, and welts.
Sick to his stomach, Duo closed his eyes. Even though he couldn’t see, he was still able to hear the triple snap against flesh and the shouts of pain from the victim. He wasn’t terribly surprised when the child stopped crying out, the whips the only remaining sound. When strong arms folded around him, Duo sobbed at the horrible things his lover had been forced to endure. As he was reduced to sniffles, he realized they were back in the forest.
“Thirty strikes, ninety lashes,” Trowa spoke quietly into Duo’s ear. “After the first few I was just numb, but when the welts started to cut open I was sure they were going to kill me. They finally stopped because I stopped screaming, Duo. It wasn’t because I was doing what they told me to. I wasn’t trying to be quiet; my throat was so raw I couldn’t make any more noise. I screamed so loud I almost destroyed my vocal cords. It was over a month before I could speak normally again and I figured out it was best to be silent. When people don’t hear you, they don’t pay attention; that was how it worked for me.”
“Tell me you found a way to make them pay.”
“Not for a few years. During that time they discovered it was no fun to torture someone that didn’t respond, so their attention focused elsewhere. I thought they had forgotten about me, but when I got a little older I became the center of their focus again. Cap had an affection for young boys, especially pretty young boys. It was an obsession he shared with Crawly, his second. They were the ones, Duo.”
“How old were you?” Duo was horrified and unsure how Trowa had managed to survive.
“When I was beaten, I was around seven. Almost ten when they came to me the last time, as close as I can figure.”
Recalling all the pain, confusion, and fear he had wrestled with after his own assault, he frowned up at his lover, “How did you get through that, Trowa? You were so young.”
“I killed them. That night, after they had finished with me they staggered to Caps tent. I was bleeding and sure I was going to die, but I packed the few things I had and enough food and water to live on for a few days and snuck into their tent. I guess they assumed since I didn’t make any noise that meant I wouldn’t do anything. I might not have if I hadn’t known it would happen again. I slit their throats with a knife I took from Cap’s own stash, and then I ran. I lived on the streets for about six months then joined up with a new group, where I met the real Barton.”
All his tears used up, Duo could only hold on tight. “I hope they died slowly.”
“They did and before they died, I made sure they knew who it was that had killed them.” Putting an arm around Duo, Trowa guided him through the forest. “Do you see why I have a hard time? It has nothing to do with you. It’s so ingrained for me to be quiet it’ll be a hard thing to change. You managed to pull more from me than anyone else ever has.”
Understanding
Trowa no longer wished to discuss his past, Duo changed topics quickly. “You think we’ll be able to keep this weird
psychic bond of ours?”
“I don’t know. If we don’t, at least we’ll be together without our pasts getting in the way, right?” Trowa’s steps slowed as he looked to Duo for reassurance.
“You’re not getting rid of me unless you blow me up with C-4, and I’ll be clinging to you, so you’ll be dead, too; after that, you’ll be stuck with me in the afterlife.”
“Eternity never sounded so appealing.”
EPILOGUE
Rubbing his eyes as he stumbled down the steps, Duo wondered why morning had to come so early. At the door, he toyed with the idea of shooting whoever was on the other side, ringing the doorbell insistently. “Who’s it?” he asked, not quite coherent.
“It’s Candace! Duo, don’t tell me you forgot,” she squealed as he jerked open the door to frown at her.
“Forgot what?”
“Well, your clothes, for one thing.”
Looking down, he groaned at his nude body, “Damn it, not again.”
“You’re supposed to get dressed before opening the door, love,” Trowa commented easily as he placed a robe around Duo’s body. “Candace, please come in before Mrs. Garvey comes for a closer look.”
“It’s not my fault. When I went to sleep last night I had clothes on,” insisted Duo as he shoved his arms into the robe and belted it.
Already on his way to the kitchen, Trowa gave a smirk over his shoulder, “You’re the one that wanted to test your theory.”
“What theory…oh, yeah. I remember now.” And remember he did, his face heating as he recalled his newest experiment with the bond he and Trowa still shared, three years after it first formed.
Used to the vague references to their sex life, Candace followed the couple into the kitchen, well acquainted with the layout of the house. “Duo, stop talking sex and pay attention. I can’t believe you actually forgot.”
Sitting down at the table, Duo banged his head on the surface, lifting his eyes in thanks when Trowa put a large cup of coffee at his elbow. “What did I forget?” he asked after taking several gulps, scalding his tongue.
“Slow down or you’ll choke to death on your caffeine.”
Rolling her eyes at the teasing advice Trowa offered his lover, Candace took the cup from Duo’s hands, oblivious or uncaring about the warning glare she received. “Tonight is the date, Duo. How could you forget?”
“I didn’t forget, Candace. Your date isn’t until eight o’clock tonight. Why are you here so early?”
“Because you said you’d help me get ready.”
Concerned for the woman’s sanity, Duo stared at her before moving his gaze to the mug she held hostage. “It’s not going to take you,” he glanced at the clock and groaned, “twelve hours to get ready.”
“How would you know? You aren’t a woman.”
“Thank god for that,” muttered Trowa as he sat beside his lover. Turning his focus to the almost hysterical woman that had become a very close friend to both of them in the last year, he spoke in calming tones. “Duo and I will both be more than happy to help you prepare for your date with Quatre, but we have plans today. We can help you after five, but until then, we’re going to be busy.”
Opening his mouth to question what plans they had, Duo quickly shut it again when a hand branded his skin underneath the table, wisely remaining silent as his awakening erection was teased with feather-light touches.
Candace gave in with a heavy sigh, setting Duo’s cup on the table in front of him. “So you’ll help me if I come after five? Will you be here?”
“I promise,” vowed Trowa solemnly. “Bring your light blue dress with you and Duo can fix your hair. Quatre is already very fond of you and we’ll be with you, so you don’t have to worry about a thing.”
As soon as the door closed behind Candace, Duo tackled Trowa, knocking them both to the floor and yanking the cotton pants his tall lover wore off, tossing them somewhere behind them. “That was mean, Trowa. Besides, you lied to her.”
“I most certainly did not lie. We are going to be busy today and I never said we were leaving. She just assumed that,” the tall man insisted as he parted Duo’s robe, exposing the naked skin underneath.
Recognizing lust in the green eyes, Duo sat up a little, “What plans do we have? I don’t have any theories to test out right now. We could always try the one from last night again to make sure it worked,” he suggested with a gasp as strong hands ran over his body.
“Actually, I have a theory of my own, if you’re willing to try it, of course. You know how we can share our thoughts in our dreams?”
Suspecting where the other man was going, Duo leaned down to nibble on Trowa’s collarbone. “Yes. It’s made things more interesting, that’s for sure.”
“I’ve done some more research,” Trowa ignored Duo’s impolite snort. “And I think we can communicate that way while we’re awake. What I’ve read suggests two people be as close as possible before trying.”
Duo gasped as Trowa slid into him, fighting against the hands that held him steady. When he was allowed to move, he did so slowly, pulling Trowa up so he was supported by strong legs, their favorite position since it put them face to face. Bringing his lover’s mouth to his own, Duo smirked, “By all means, let’s test out this theory of yours.”
THE END
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