Disclaimers and warnings in first part
After everyone had left, Duo stepped out of the shower, refusing to think about the mess he would have to clean up the next day, thanks to Hilde’s hurried arrangements of the cookout. He thought the event had gone well, even if no one had been able to convince Trowa to stay. Everyone had clearly been pleased to see the tall man before he left again and had expressed their sadness that he would be leaving so soon.
Feeling the clock in his head counting down the hours until Trowa’s departure, Duo wrapped a towel around his waist and picked up his brush before leaving the bathroom. As he had expected, Trowa was in the guest bedroom, clad in a pair of jeans as he checked the drawers one last time. “I’m pretty sure you have everything, Tro,” he noted as he stood in the doorway brushing his hair. “You’ve already checked three or four times to make sure. I guess it would really suck to leave something here, right? It would be awkward to come back for it in eight years. There’s no telling who might live here by then.”
With his back toward Duo, Trowa shook his head fiercely, “I know you won’t be alone by the time I come back. I hope you have a good life, Duo.”
“Then why aren’t you staying?” he demanded bluntly, tired of thinking and rewording his words. “I’ve had a good life for the last two weeks.”
“Arguments, stress, and being admitted to the hospital are not the normal definitions of a good life.”
“I’m not normal. I want you to stay.”
Trowa’s shoulder fell, “I can’t.”
“You mean won’t. You won’t stay, not even with me asking you.”
“All right; I won’t. You don’t understand, Duo,” Trowa said, finally turning to face him, eyes going wide at the sight of the long-haired man in the doorway, hair falling around him and only a short towel covering his pale skin. “I want you,” he paused, shaking his head after a moment. “I want you to…”
“You want me to what? Have a life without you? Move on? Have so many lovers I can’t count them all…what?”
“No, I want you to…” the tall former pilot of Heavyarms blew out air in a huff, moving across the room to put himself close to Duo. “Damn it, I simply want you.”
Aware this was the only goodbye he was going to get, Duo let the brush fall to the floor, the towel following it an instant later. “Then take what you want. I’m yours,” he breathed, eyes on the other man.
In a second, he was being lifted off his feet and carried to the bed that had been made up by Trowa. The tall man leaned over him, stopping when their lips were brushing, “Are you sure you want this, Duo? It won’t change anything.”
Sadly, Duo lifted his arms to pull his former lover closer, “I know, but I need this. Let me have this much of you.”
For Duo, time seemed to be suspended as Trowa kissed him deeply before getting off the bed and undressing slowly. With each touch, he felt desired, every caress making him feel cherished and every slow, drawn-out kiss making him feel worshipped. His eyes and limbs were heavy when Trowa finally slid into him, every slow thrust reaching deep inside him and branding his heart. Completion was reached with a sigh instead of a scream and Duo melted into the strong arms that held him so close it was almost impossible to tell where he ended and Trowa began.
Exhaustion from stress filled days and tormented dreams dogged him, pulling Duo into a slumber he tried to fight. A soft whisper followed him into unconsciousness, accompanied by the sensation of lips on his. “You already have all of me, Duo. When I leave, I’ll leave behind the most important part of me. Damn…I love you. I wanted you to know that.”
Waking with a start, Duo instantly remembered the whispered words, as well as the sincerity he had heard. Sitting up on the bed, he discovered himself alone, cursing vehemently as he saw it was almost three in the morning. Trowa had already been gone for at least an hour, the spot on the bed beside him already cool.
Beginning to grow depressed, he remembered the care the other man had taken with him just hours earlier. Turning to the side, he saw the imprint where Trowa’s head had lay, letting his fingers trace the contour of the pillow. “He said he loved me,” he mumbled in awe, then blinked. “If he loves me, what the hell am I doing here?”
With a new sense of purpose, he shot from the bed, racing to his room to throw on some clothes. It only took an instant to decide not to pack anything; he could buy whatever he needed when the Hydra reached a port, and snagged a set of keys that hadn’t been used for some time. In a hurry, he ran from the house to the garage, forgetting to lock the door behind him.
Pulling the tarp off the motorcycle, he took a moment to be glad he kept it full of gas and ready to go at all times. Choosing to call Hilde the next morning, he shoved the helmet on his head, taking a few seconds to push his unbound hair down the back of his shirt before took off, tires squealing when he hit the road and opened the bike up.
Having been to the spaceport plenty of times in the past, he knew the way and broke the speed limit in his rush to make it on time. Reaching the port, he had his helmet in his hand as he ran for the Hydra’s berth, stunned to find it empty. A glance at his watch told him he had been twenty minutes late.
“Sir, are you looking for something?” a port worker asked, watching him warily.
Duo could imagine what he looked like. Hair twisted and tangled from the love-making, worsened by the wild ride and poking through the bottom of his shirt, clothes wrinkled and wide-eyed. Holding onto the little hope he had, he gestured with his helmet, “The Hydra was docked here, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, sir. You actually just missed it. It just launched a few minutes ago. They had some last minute crew changes.”
“I see. Thanks.”
Wondering if he could have made it if he had run all of the red lights, Duo turned to walk back to his bike, stopping and staring at the person mere feet away, not sure if he could trust his eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“I was going to ask you the same,” Trowa lifted his eyebrows as he came closer, bag slung over one shoulder.
“I missed my ship,” Duo stuck his thumb at the empty dock where the Hydra had been.
“Your ship?”
“I was going to sign up as a temporary crew member. I heard they’ll take anyone with experience,” the long-haired man shrugged.
“Why would you do that? You told me once you never wanted to work in space for an extended amount of time again.”
Duo could barely recall the long-ago conversation, “That was before I went back to the Sweepers. It’s not so bad, I suppose.” Meeting green eyes, he shrugged. “I was going because that’s where you were going. Why aren’t you on the Hydra? I know you didn’t get here late.”
“I arrived in time.” The tall man glanced at the people working the docks, none of them paying attention to the two men standing a foot apart in front of an empty slip, “I started to get on, then…I didn’t.”
“What kept you from boarding? Was it the thought of being in space for so long or does the food suck?”
“Eight years is a long time. I was thinking about it on the way here. In eight years, Kyran will be twelve or thirteen and Ayla ten. They won’t even remember me and I like those kids. In eight years everything will be different; everyone will change.”
Annoyed that Trowa was still finding a way to avoid him, Duo turned toward the lot where he had left his bike, helmet swinging at his side. “I’m sure they’ll be happy you stayed for them.”
“I stayed because in eight years, you’ll be different. In that time, you’ll be able to find someone that you care for that isn’t so damn inept at caring for you in return. It would give you enough time to find someone that can give you what you want. I don’t want you to have the time to do that,” Trowa told him quickly, following.
At his bike, Duo turned, shoving loose hair from his face, annoyed at it. Brows pulled together, he looked up at the tall man, “Trowa, do you love me?”
“More than anything else, but I can’t love you the way I should.” Trowa shook his head, “I can’t show you how much I love you.”
“Then work on it, practice. You’ve done pretty well since you got here.”
Clearly baffled, Trowa frowned, “I haven’t done anything.”
“You were going to leave because you thought you weren’t good enough,” Duo stated bluntly, beginning to understand what was going on behind the green eyes. It was the same thing he would have done. Receiving a small nod, he snorted, “Idiot. Those days when you were being yourself were some of the best I’ve had since before you left the first time. You are good enough for me, Trowa; you always have been when you’re not trying to be what you think I want. I want you. The best way to prove you want me is to stay. I don’t need you to tell me you love me or do things that you aren’t comfortable with. As long as you’re happy and with me, I’ll already know.”
“You want me even after I planned to leave?”
“I planned to go with you if you wouldn’t stay. Yes, dumbass, I still want you,” he rolled his eyes when Trowa continued to stare at him in shock. “Get on the damn bike. Good thing there’s no helmet law in this state.”
“Where are we going?”
“Unless you’re going to stand around the spaceport and wait for another shuttle, we’re going home.” Tossing his leg over the seat, Duo gripped the handlebars, glancing at the man still standing beside him. “What’s your decision? Either you stay here or you go home with me. If you go back into space, you won’t go without me.”
Duo held his breath as Trowa looked at him with wide eyes, hoping his bluff worked. When the tall man climbed onto the seat behind him, he let out a sigh of relief. He had been prepared to beg if he had been forced to, but was glad it hadn’t come to that.
Trowa’s bag was sandwiched between them, but that didn’t stop the green-eyed man from leaning forward. “Any ideas where I can get a loan? Landscaping actually sounds like it could be the perfect job for me; maybe I can look into building a greenhouse.”
“That makes sense. You’ll need to grow a lot of products for your customers,” Duo grinned. “I know a few people that will put in a good word for you at the bank.” Stopping at the exit to the spaceport, he turned enough to meet Trowa’s eyes. “Are you sure about this, Trowa? You know this will change everything, right?”
Trowa gave him a smile that was honest, making Duo’s heart jump in his chest. “Everything changed when I came here looking for you, I just didn’t realize it until it was almost too late. I won’t leave again, Duo. That’s a promise.”
End
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