Warnings: Total smut with only a tiny plot.
Disclaimers: Not mine, duh
I wake at some point during the night and discover Duo and I have both gravitated to the center of the bed, possibly searching for comfort in sleep. With a sigh I put one arm around his waist and drift back into the never-ending torment of dreams that haunt me.
The next time I wake, it’s to find myself alone. The bed on Duo’s side is cold, so he’s been up for a while. After using the bathroom I toss my bag in the far corner of his bedroom and search him out, a task that takes less than two minutes in the small apartment.
In the kitchen he’s in front of the stove, wielding a spatula. As soon as I enter, he waves to the fridge, “Help yourself to whatever you want.”
“Thanks.” Finding some orange juice in the fully stocked fridge, I start to ask for a glass, smiling as one is handed to me. Sitting down at the round table in the center of the room, I can’t help but ask a question I should have considered the night before. “Where is Heero? I assumed he would be here.”
“With Relena. We went our separate ways over six years ago.”
“I’m sorry. I thought…” I really don’t know what to say. To me, it seemed they were happy. “I thought you were together.” As I speak, I watch my host closely, realizing he looks very good in the loose jeans and grey t-shirt. His face no longer bears the roundness of youth, his braid longer than it had been during the war.
“After the war was over he told me he actually wasn’t gay and had needs I couldn’t take care of for him.”
I blink as a plate of eggs and toast is set in front of me, taking up a fork gratefully. I can’t remember the last time I ate a home cooked meal that was actually cooked in someone’s home instead of in a restaurant. Duo sits across from me, his strange cobalt eyes on me. It’s disturbing to realize I’ve seen those eyes in my dreams more than once, though the memories are vague. “What about you and Quatre?”
The name has my lip curling in a sneer. “His religion doesn’t allow homosexuality.”
Duo’s reaction is surprising. Lifting an eyebrow, he jabs a fork in my direction and states in a wry tone, “Annoying what war lets some people get away with, isn’t it? I killed people, but I never lied to myself about what I was.”
“I never used the war as an excuse,” I add, pleased someone finally seems to understand me.
We eat in relative silence, Duo occasionally making a comment about this or that, nothing in particular and nothing that requires a response from me. He tells me where there is a small store in case I need to purchase anything and where the groceries are safe. He also tells me the areas to avoid if I’m alone; surprisingly, I hadn’t ended up passing through one last night. After we’re done eating, I sit in the kitchen while he washes up, turning down my offer to help. “I won’t be in your way long, Duo. A few days, maybe a week.”
“No hurry. Stay as long as you want. I don’t mind.”
With this, the conversation is over, surprising me. Duo talks a lot less than he did during the war, and seems to be much calmer. It isn’t long before he leaves the apartment, telling me to make myself at home. His apartment is comfortable to me and it isn’t long before I’m lying on the couch with one of the books off his bookshelf, more relaxed than I’ve been in what seems like years.
Somehow, I’m still at Duo’s apartment three weeks after my arrival. It’s tempting to blame my extended stay on the fact that I need to rest, but I won’t lie to myself, not even to make myself feel more at ease. In truth, the pull to leave isn’t that strong, but that could be because of my curiosity concerning my current roommate.
It only took a few days for me to realize Duo doesn’t have a regular job. When I asked about it he told me he occasionally does odd jobs for people in the neighborhood, but doesn’t really need the money. Like me, he took numerous funds during the war. Also like me, he had chosen not to tell the authorities of his private accounts, which are untraceable and impossible to hack.
This isn’t what makes me wonder about my long-haired acquaintance. I think he does the work to help his neighbors; most of the people that live in this section of the colony are poor. I don’t have to wonder at his decision to help them without charging them for more than parts. These are his people; he fought for them, bled for them, and would have died without regret if it had been asked of him.
I’ve discovered Duo and I like a lot of the same things and we have long conversations about those interests, whether it is about movies or music. We have a few things where our opinions differ, especially in politics and we debate on those issues, though the arguments are always made with laughing eyes and snorts of humor that surprise me. I’ve enjoyed my time with him more than I can recall anything I’ve done in a number of years. It’s also strange that my nightmares have seemed to let me have a break at night. Duo is apparently someone that likes to…snuggle. I apparently like snuggling with him, holding him to me with an arm around his small waist during the night. This isn’t what makes me wonder, though these things have helped my time here pass quickly.
The reason I am so curious about him is that every few nights he leaves the apartment in the evening after supper and stays gone for hours, not returning until the early hours of the morning, smelling of sweat. This wouldn’t be so odd if he was involved with someone, but he hasn’t even taken a personal call from anyone since I came. Every time his phone rings it’s someone from the neighborhood, asking for a favor or thanking him for one.
I’m determined to solve this mystery, hoping once I do I’ll be able to leave without wondering about it. I hope once I figure out what he’s doing at night, I’ll be able to leave without thinking of him again. My fascination with his activities and the way I enjoy being with him frighten me in a way nothing ever has. For some reason, I hold back the questions I want to ask, assuming Duo won’t answer. I’m hoping I get the chance to follow him tonight. It’s been four days since he last went out and I feel a breathless anticipation at the notion of following my quarry.
I’m delighted to hear him say he’s going out after dinner, though he stays long enough to clean up the dishes, still not willing to let me help with housework. He doesn’t have a car; most residents here don’t, so I won’t have to follow him in traffic. The largest obstacle will be tailing him without him being aware of it. Living in a place where being careless can get you killed has honed his senses to a degree most people would find alarming. Me? I’m thrilled at the notion of stalking him, yet another aspect that scares me. Am I anticipating the chase, or it is because I’m chasing him?
I can’t answer these questions, but when the door closes behind him, I wait ten full seconds then follow, using the rickety fire escape instead of the stairwell. By doing so, I get to the ground before he does, watching him from the side of the building as he exits onto the street.
Following him is easier than I expected it would be, though there are a few tense moments when Duo stops suddenly and looks around, making me find some quick cover. When I see him descend some steps to a recessed door I hesitate for a minute, wondering if I dare go inside. It could be someone’s house or a simple restaurant, after all.
Having already come this far, I’m determined to see what the place is, the sign on the door not giving me any clue other than the establishment’s name, Starlight. Pushing my way inside it takes less than five seconds to realize this is not a home or a restaurant, but the man seated at a desk just inside the door gives no clues about what it is I’ve wandered into, the blank walls not giving me any help, either.
“Good evening, sir. Is there any way I can be of service to you?” Not sure how to respond, I shake my head. He laughs, as if he’s seen this type of reaction before. “Your first time here?”
“Yes. It was recommended by a friend.” That sounds safe enough.
The man’s smile is predatory and makes me nervous as I imagine he’s undressing me with his eyes. “The cover fee is twenty-five credits. Is there anything particular you’re interested in, or would you just like to look around until you see something you like?”
Assuming it’s a store of some kind, I again choose the safest option. “I’d like to look around, if that’s okay,” I state, handing over the requested fee.
“If you have any questions you can come back and ask me, or any of the others. The rules are very simple, since there is only one.” Standing, he opens a door in the otherwise empty space and gestures for me to go inside, smiling. “Don’t do anything you don’t want done to you. I hope you enjoy your visit and hope you come back again when I’m not working,” he comments as he closes the door behind me, sealing me inside a long hallway.
With nowhere else to go and still searching for Duo, I walk forward, eyes growing accustomed to the dim lighting provided by lamps at intervals down the hall, frowning at the strange noises that sounds a lot like moaning, but that can’t be right. There are doors open on either side of the hall and I look into one idly as I begin to pass, my feet freezing to the floor at what I see.
There are men in the room, either naked or in various states of undress. They are kissing, touching, and fondling each other while a trio in the corner does something I hadn’t believed physically possible. One of the men sees me watching and comes to the door, not to yell at me, but for something else entirely. “Want to join us?” he gestures to the man he had left near the center of the room, watching me with a clear invitation in his eyes.
“I’m, ah, looking for someone.”
“That’s why we’re all here, isn’t it? If you change your mind, come back. We wouldn’t mind some company.”
Nodding dumbly, I force my feet to move forward, wondering what in the hell I’ve gotten myself into. Every room I look into is full of writhing bodies, some involved while others observe. It takes some time to realize there are specific activities in each room. There are some dressed in costumes or bondage leather, some contain large groups of men enjoying each other, and some that have couples only. I’m not sure if this would be considered a scene from one of my best dreams or one from my worst nightmares.
Reaching the last door without finding Duo, I discover another hallway, this one having larger rooms on each side. My shock at what I’ve already seen is so great I nearly come out of my skin when hands suddenly grab me from behind, molding to my hips.
I’m not even able to find my voice until I hear someone whisper. “Looking for me, Trowa?”
Looking over my shoulder and down, I lift my eyebrows at the other man. “How long did you know?”
Removing his hands, he steps back, allowing me the space I need to turn around, but not much more than that, our bodies touching for a fleeting instant and sending a tingle of awareness up my spine that I do my best to ignore. “Right after leaving the apartment. Why didn’t you just ask where I was going?”
“I didn’t think you’d tell me.”
Tilting his head, he regards me for a long moment. “You’re probably right. Would you have believed me?”
“Probably not,” I admit. “This place is…wild.” There’s no other word I can think of right now.
“There are places like this in most cities; you just have to know where to look. Come with me,” he holds out his hand in invitation and I accept, still baffled at the things I’ve seen.
Duo obviously knows the place well, leading me through a maze of hallways until we enter a huge room dotted with individuals, pair and trios. There are steps that run the length of the circular room, leading down into a recessed area where more than a few pairs of eyes are following our movements. It takes me an instant to realize those eyes aren’t focused on us, they are fixated purely on Duo. This realization makes me look more closely at my host. How I haven’t recognized the emotions I’ve been feeling as attraction I don’t know, but they’re there and they aren’t new. It doesn’t explain all of the things I feel, but it helps me to feel better to understand at least one.
There is a bar on the opposite side of the room and he takes me to it, smiling at the man serving drinks. “This the friend you were telling me about?” the man asks, pouring two drinks for Duo without him ordering. “If I had a friend like this one, I wouldn’t be visiting a place like this.”
Laughing, Duo takes the drinks with a wink and leads me to an area that’s unoccupied. Settling on a large pillow, I take the drink he offers me and take several gulps of it, my eyes watering as the alcohol burns its way down my throat. “Take it easy or you won’t be able to stand,” Duo warns with a smug smile, sipping at his own concoction more slowly. “In a place like this, vulnerability is not a good thing. Most people abide by the rule, but there are a few, mostly out-of-towners, that would use you and leave you hurt or worse.”
I can’t help staring at the men scattered around the room, shocked by the shapes and sizes and in one case, apparent flexibility. Every few seconds my eyes go back to Duo, only to dart away when I see he’s watching me.
“I imagine you have a ton of questions, Trowa. Ask them.”
“Why would you come to a place like this?” is the first thing out of my mouth, glad Duo is still dressed or this conversation wouldn’t happen, my awareness of him growing in intensity by the second.
Duo gives a small shrug, “Why not? Most of these people don’t care who I am or what I’ve done. I don’t have to answer a thousand uncomfortable questions about my past and I don’t have to worry about being judged.”
“Have you ever…?” I gesture slightly with my hand at a couple writhing on the floor.
“Nah. I come here to watch. No one here cares what you do, or who you do it with.” He laughs as he shakes his head, “I’ve turned down so many offers I’m rarely asked anymore.”
“Why don’t you participate?”
“Sex with no expectations is every man’s dream, right? Apparently, not mine. It’s enough for me to watch, most of the time.”
A black man approaches us, stalling my next question as he crouches in front of me with a smile. “You feel like joining me, or do you plan trying to tame this one?” his eyes slide to Duo as he licks his lips.
“Tame him?”
“No one’s been able to convince him it’s better with a partner or two, and we’ve tried. He’s tempting, but not on the menu, right Duo?”
Before Duo can respond, my mouth opens, stunning me, “I’d like to try, if he’s willing.”
The dark eyes go from Duo to me, then back to Duo. “You willing?”
Ignoring the other man, Duo searches my face, gasping as I let my hand fall to his leg. Suddenly, I want this so badly it’s hard to think clearly and I hold my breath, waiting for his answer. “I’m willing, as long as you’re sure about this. Don’t let this moron pressure you into doing something you aren’t comfortable with.”
A grunt captures my attention and I look at the other man, finding his eyes narrowed at me. “What makes you so damn special? You know how many have tried to have this one for a night?”
“If you want to retain the use of your favorite organ, Buck, shut up.”
“What’s he got I don’t? You heard the saying about black men being bigger, right?”
I’m surprised when Duo moves gracefully into my lap, long legs wrapping around my waist as if they were meant to be there. “He’s got a few things you don’t, Buck. One is class. Another is a pretty face.”
Duo thinks I’m pretty? That could be considered an insult, but since he’s fairly pretty himself, I let it go. I want this. I want Duo and have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Buck stands with a laugh, “Let me help you, friend,” he purrs before pulling Duo’s shirt over his head, revealing a muscular frame I have to admit is stunning now that I’m really paying attention.
When black arms move around Duo’s waist, I decide I’ve had enough of the interference. I don’t think having people watching will bother me, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to share. “Back off.”
“Just trying to help.”
Meeting Duo’s eyes, I smirk and let my fingers trail lightly across his skin, marveling at how smooth it is. “I don’t need help with this. He’s mine, so go away.”
The large man backs away with his hands up. I don’t know where he goes and I don’t really care, every sense I have attuned to the man sitting on my lap, watching me with wide eyes. It’s terrifying how satisfying it is to hear Duo gasp when I pinch one of his nipples between my thumb and index fingers, licking his lips as his eyes close for an instant. “Tell me you want this, Duo.” My voice is harsh, my breathing already out of control as nimble fingers dance under my shirt, toying with the waistband of my pants.
“Sleeping beside you every night’s been killing me. It’s why I’ve been coming here so often. I had to release some pressure,” he chuckles, the sound coming from deep in his throat. “Are you sure?”
“What do you think?” I pull him forward, letting his erection meet my own, gripping his hips at the sensation. There’s so much heat coming off his body I fear burning from it. At least I’ll die happy.
“Do you want to go back to the apartment? This is probably weird for you.”
I’m tired of talking, tired of holding back my baser needs for the sake of conversation. I need him this minute, right now, and tell him so, lifting an eyebrow at the smirk I receive. The wicked glint in his eyes has me mesmerized as he stands slowly; bending from the waist to untie his shoes, removing them and his socks and leaving them beside the mound of pillows surrounding us.
His eyes are dark, holding mine as he lets his pants slip to the floor, nothing else underneath. The appreciative calls from around the room are well earned, he’s perfect. He’s teasing me and I know it, enjoying every second of the show. Heero once told me in confidence Duo was an energetic and imaginative lover. This is something I intend to discover for myself, yet there is a need to prove I’m not without imagination of my own.
Slowly, I take off my own shoes and socks, tossing them to where his are and stand, crooking a finger at Duo. His curious nature has him coming to me, standing so there is little space between us. “Undress me.” When he reaches for me, I grab one hand, bringing his fingers to my mouth and sucking on them, “Make it good.”
He makes it good. By the time I’m naked, I have to wonder if you can die from touch alone. It’s either that or the way he’s on his knees in front of me, hands on my thighs. There is a slight tremble in his body I can feel through his hands, understanding how excited he is. Eyes so dark they seem black gaze up at me, “Can I taste you?”
The request almost brings me to my knees, already weak with lust. My voice somehow comes out calm. “Only until I say stop, understand?”
He nods slightly, rising on his knees to put my erection at his mouth. Without ever using his hands to do more than hold himself up, he wraps his lips around my cock, pulling that most sensitive part of me into a hot, wet cavern. Feeling his tongue move along my hardness is enough to tempt me to finish this way, filling his mouth with semen. Calling on every ounce of willpower I have, my hand grips the hair on the top of his head, “Enough.”
Duo is panting as he releases me, licking his lips as if to capture the last of my flavor, a sight that almost ends me. It takes him a moment to look back up at me, eyes wide and filled with the almost overwhelming lust I feel inside myself. “What do you want me to do now?”
“On your hands and knees, Duo. No, the other way,” I command as he begins to turn toward me. “Face away from the wall.” Leaning over him, I whisper into his ear as my nails scrape down his back, causing him to shiver from over-sensitive skin. “I want everyone to see your face as I enter you. I want them to see how lucky I am to be with you.”
I’m aware of the multiple sets of eyes on us as I run my hand between his cheeks, finding his entrance and pressing against it lightly, drawing a low moan from Duo. Instead of being nervous, the idea of being watched excites me. It’s even more intoxicating to know Duo had turned down many offers, yet is willing not only to have sex with me, but be controlled by me.
The sensation is so heady I almost forget something very important. Not even being so filled with desire will make me truly hurt him. “Duo, we need lubricant.”
His voice comes out in a breathless laugh. “There’s always some under the pillows,” he hisses. “Hurry the hell up.”
It’s not hard to locate the small tube, right where he said it would be. I pour some between his cheeks and tease his entrance with one hand while using the other to pull his head back by his braid. “Don’t rush me. I’ll be inside you soon enough.”
His eyes are threatening to close when he gives me a soft reply. “S-sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“Make sure it doesn’t.” I can feel the smirk on my face as I push two fingers inside him at once, his eyes flying open and a shocked cry falling from his lips.
I want to prepare him quickly, needing to bury myself in his body. It’s only the knowledge that I’m larger than average that keeps me from rushing, using four fingers before I’m sure he’s stretched enough not to tear. Getting behind him, I position myself and push in as slow as possible, pausing just as I breach the ring of muscle. His arms are trembling, his back bowed and his head lowered, arms trembling as he fights the urge to push back onto me. “What do you want me to do?”
I’m surprised he can even remember our little game enough to answer me, but he does, telling me of the rigid control he has over his own body. “I want you to do anything you want. That’s what I’m here for, to be used by you.”
The thought of being able to do whatever I want to him has me surging forward, thrusting into him as deep as I can. Giving him no time to adjust to my size, I pound into him, gripping the slender hips to pull him to me, harder with each thrust.
Forcing my eyes open, I realize everyone in the room is involved in some form of sex, but their eyes are all on us. I can’t blame them. Duo’s body is glistening with sweat, his face beautiful as I plunder his body. Wanting to make this interlude last as long as possible, both for us and our spectators, I lean over him and slow my movements. “You aren’t allowed to come until I give you permission, Duo. Can you do that?”
“Yes,” his reply is a rasp, head turning toward me for an instant. His eyes are incredibly aware of me and I see the smile on his lips because he knows why I want to prolong the experience.
In retaliation for that knowing look, I pull him back and sit on my knees, his back to my chest. He cries out as I push into him, deeper than I had been. The sound of his voice carrying across the room has my stomach tightening and I fight down the orgasm I can feel building. He rides me this way until I tell him to lie on his back.
He moves gracefully in spite of knowing everyone is watching him. When he lies down and parts his legs for me, my breath backs up in my lungs for a moment before I move, grasping his ankles. “Spread your legs for me, Duo. Wider,” I instruct when he stops. “I want everyone to see what only I can have.”
Understanding what I want, he pulls his legs farther apart, pulling his knees back to reveal what so many have coveted. I make sure everyone in the room can see my length as it slides into his body, pulling a low moan from my throat as he closes around me like a tight fist. Several other patrons cry out when I’m fully seated again, proving they’re still watching.
I keep my movements slow and shallow until he looks up at me, eyes pleading for what I can give him. “Please. You’re driving me crazy. Let me come.”
“Not yet. Soon.”
So saying, I push into him faster, thoughts of a steady rhythm no longer a concern. I shove the other people in the room to the back of my mind, focusing only on the man beneath me, his gasps and moans filling my ears as I feel my orgasm building again.
“I can’t wait anymore,” he pleads softly, crying out as I ram into him over and over again. “I can’t wait. Please let me come.”
My own orgasm is rushing through me, unwilling to be delayed any longer. “Come now,” I order tersely, immediately feeling his muscles tighten around me, pulling my orgasm from me as he nearly screams in pleasure.
Although my body is worn out, I make sure not to lie on top of him fully. I do outweigh him by at least fifty pounds and don’t want to crush him. My head falls forward to rest on his chest for a moment before blinking up at him. “I didn’t mean to come inside you.”
“I’ve never let someone do that before, not even Heero.” He tilts his head at me and smiles, “If I hadn’t wanted you to, I would have stopped you. You know I could have.”
I have to admit that while Duo is small, he has an amazing amount of strength. “You wanted me to?”
“I wanted to see how it felt, if I could tell the difference.”
“Did you?”
“It felt good. Really, really good.”
In light of his confession, I make one of my own. “I’ve never come inside someone before. This is the first time I couldn’t control it.”
Duo’s grin is smug, “What a nice thing to say.”
Finally pulling out of him, I sit back on my heels and watch as my semen flows out of him, the sight turning me on all over again. Hearing his laugh, I force myself to look away from the enticing view. “I guess we should find a way to clean up.”
“There are some wet towels at the bar. I’ll be right back.”
I can’t help watching him as he walks away, at ease with his nudity and the fluid that slides down the inside of his thigh. Hearing a laugh above me, I tilt my head up and lift a brow at Buck. “It seems you have tamed him. Maybe next time I’ll be able to give him a try.”
Knowing Duo will visit here again doesn’t bother me, but knowing he might eventually accept the inevitable invitations does. Not willing to admit why I feel this way has me shaking my head as I look at Duo when he smiles at me, coming back with towels in his hands, “No one will ever tame Duo.”
“You don’t think so? He looked pretty tame to me.”
“An illusion. He has too much spirit to tame. Would you really want him to be any other way?”
Buck is silent for a moment. “I suppose you’re right. Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be fun to try.”