Disclaimers and warnings in first part
Minutes later he was lost, burning from the inside out. Duo didn’t offer a complaint when the tall man tugged his shirt off, his own being worked off an instant later. He kept the smaller man on his lap, knowing if he lay Duo down on the couch there would be no stopping.
His hands were on Duo’s ass and his teeth were nibbling on a soft bottom lip when a hand was suddenly rubbing him. His head fell back and he instantly regretted it when a mouth discovered every sensitive spot on his neck. “Duo, if you don’t stop doing that, I’m taking you to my room,” he warned with a hiss, shifting in the hopes of easing the ache in his groin.
“You have no idea how bad I want you right now.”
It was easy to imagine sliding into the other man’s body, but Trowa was terrified of what would happen at that point, or after. “I either need more or we need to stop,” he stated bluntly, grimacing as his erection strained painfully against his zipper.
“I’m not ready to stop yet,” Duo groaned. “Damn, this hurts,” he added, also moving with a wince.
Making a quick decision, Trowa stood, keeping his hold on Duo as he rushed up the stairs. Duo said nothing as he was placed on the bed, though he hummed in his throat when Trowa’s hands moved to the button of his pants. “Relax, Duo. There are other things to do that don’t involve penetration. I want to see you, as much of you as I can,” he explained as Duo’s pants fell to the floor. The sight of short green boxer shorts was almost enough to have him falling apart.
“In that case…” Duo surprised a startled laughed from him when the small man wrapped legs around his waist, flipping them and pinning Trowa to the bed on one smooth motion. As Trowa’s belt was deftly undone, the braided man sent him a slow smile. “In that case, you have on too many clothes.”
The green-eyed man reached for Duo’s hands, clenching his fingers around the other man’s and wishing he never had to let go. Under the riotous fire burning between them Trowa know this was only an interlude. Duo had needed a distraction from his flailing relationship with Wufei and had grabbed onto the first thing available, namely Trowa. He knew this was a one-time act and was determined to get what he could before the braided man moved back in with Wufei. There was heart-wrenching pain just beneath the barriers of lust and heat, pain Trowa had every intention of avoiding until it was no longer possible.
He wanted to freeze time, knowing it was an insane thought as rolled them on the bed and rocked his hips into the man beneath him, pulling them both to the inevitable conclusion. The previous heat was nothing compared to the flame of his orgasm and Trowa distantly wondered if small fires dotted the room from the aftermath.
Knowing they both needed distance and hating it had to be that way, Trowa rolled away and stood; his strides long and sure as he left the room. Duo’s voice, hurt and uncertain, stopped him at the threshold. “Trowa?”
Bracing himself mentally, the tall man turned and gasped at the waves of emotion that washed over him. Duo was still on the center of the bed, propped on his elbows as he watched Trowa with eyes that were stunned from both the experience and the callous way Trowa had gotten up without a word. With lips still swollen from forceful kisses, the long-haired man asked softly, “Did I do something wrong?”
In an instant Trowa was lost, realizing his problems were worse than he had assumed. Duo cared for Wufei deeply and Trowa had made the mistake of falling in love with his best friend. It was crazy and held no logic, but most things in his life made so sense, so that wasn’t surprising.
Looking into hurt eyes, Trowa hated himself for what he was going to do, but pushed on regardless, hoping it was the best thing for Duo. He had to quickly remind himself that no matter what the other man seemed to want now, that would change. Duo had made a promise and wouldn’t break it. Using that to strengthen his resolve he gave a small smile and nodded shortly, “I guess I was wrong. There wasn’t even a spark. I need a shower,” he stated in a cool voice before he walked away.
When he came home from work the next day he wasn’t surprised to find all of Duo’s things gone from his house, other than those still in his attic, the ones Duo hadn’t known about. His heart was ripped in two as he retrieved the bottle of vodka, giving in and taking a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet at the same time. With both bottles clasped in his hand, he made his way slowly up the stairs to the darkest room in the house.
Wufei didn’t pay much attention when the phone began to ring, deep into an article about the political debates for resource sharing between the colonies. He took note of Duo getting up to answer the call and began to pay close attention when the long-haired man let out a sharp gasp and walked away, leaving the phone unanswered.
Baffled by the behavior, Wufei answered the phone, eyes narrowing at the man that appeared on the screen. “Trowa, you look unwell,” he said in greeting, shocked by the flat hair and dark circles under green eyes.
“I feel unwell, Wufei,” the other man offered a smile that was weak and exhausted. “Is Duo with you?”
“Yes, if you hold on a moment, I’ll get him.”
“That’s not necessary. I just wanted to make sure he was with you so I could bring some things he forgot. If it’s convenient, I’ll drop them off in about an hour.”
Wufei’s eyebrows shot up. Trowa lived less than fifteen minutes away. The only reason the tall man would give so much time to prepare for a visit was so they would have time to talk or so Duo could be away from the apartment when Trowa arrived. “We don’t plan to go anywhere today; you’re welcome anytime.”
“I’ll be there in an hour, Wufei. I’ll see you then.”
The emotionless tone had Wufei’s hair on end, unable to say anything else because Trowa had hung up without saying goodbye. The dead voice had been one he hadn’t heard in years, just after the war had ended and they were all going their separate ways.
A soft sound had him glancing up in time to see Duo reappear around the corner, leaning with seeming calm on the apartment wall; his hands tucked into his pants pockets. “Would you like to tell me what’s going on?” Wufei inquired in a soft tone, looking at the pain in Duo’s eyes.
“What did he want?”
Not surprised the other man had avoided the question, Wufei watched Duo closely for a reaction, “He’s going to come over in about an hour. He wants to bring over some things you left in your haste to leave his house.” Again he saw the flare of pain and a hint of panic. “Why are you avoiding the man that has been your best friend for more than five years?”
“He’s not the person I thought he was. I’m going to the store.”
“So you can be conveniently absent when he arrives? I don’t think so,” he stated, holding up a hand when Duo opened his mouth to argue. “You don’t have to speak to him or even see him, but it might be good for you to hear what he has to say.”
“You’re making it sound like something important happened, but it’s not like that. It’s no big deal.”
“It won’t hurt for you to stay, then, will it?”
Wufei smirked as Duo frowned then walked away, going into his room at the end of the hall. Letting his smug expression fade, he carefully sat on the couch and clasped his hands under his chin, more than a little disturbed as he tried to think what could have happened to cause two people that were so close to avoid each other for weeks.
It had been a surprise when Duo had returned to the apartment with his two bags of belongings and Wufei had been pleased…at first. It hadn’t taken long to see something was wrong; Duo had been withdrawn and quiet, much like he had been before leaving, though Wufei often saw him fingering the medallion on the shiny new chain.
His suspicions had grown when Duo hadn’t mentioned Trowa and flinching when the tall man’s name was brought up. Trowa hadn’t called, also an odd occurrence. The two men usually spent their free time together, but there had been no communication between them and now this. There had been pain in Duo’s eyes that could only be caused by someone very close to you, like family…or a lover.
This notion had Wufei sighing heavily as he lowered his hands, letting his head fall in resignation. There had always been something between Duo and Trowa, a closeness that couldn’t be explained by friendship; the two men were closer than that. He never had understood why Duo had agreed to live with him while he had finished his schooling, but had been thankful for the chance to prove he could treat the braided man like he was special.
He thought long and hard about what could have happened and when there was a knock on the door almost an hour exactly after Trowa’s call, he thought he was prepared for anything. He was wrong, gasping in shock at the tall man’s haggard appearance. “Trowa, come in.”
“That’s okay, Wufei. I’ll only be a moment. Is Duo here?” There was clear hope in the green eyes as Trowa clenched a box to his chest.
“I’m afraid not,” he lied, hoping Duo was listening. “Come in before you fall over. Let me take that for you.”
Trowa handed over the box and was ushered inside, almost collapsing on the couch without any of his usual grace. After taking a glance inside the box, Wufei had to sit down as well. “These are the things I broke. You fixed them all. It must have taken days to fix all of this. Is this what you’ve been doing since Duo left?”
The tall man laughed bitterly, lifting one hand and letting it fall back into his lap again. “It’s not the only thing I’ve done. I worked a few days and I’ve drank quite a bit. I think I’ve been to the liquor store more than I’ve been to the grocery store in the last two weeks.”
Carefully setting the box in the floor, Wufei picked up a piece of plastic he recalled sweeping to the floor and seeing it shatter. Allowing the tall man a brief respite, he held it up with a frown, “What is this?”
“It was a casing for syringes. It’s the back of the container that held the vaccine for an illness that swept through L2 when Duo was a child. This was all he had left after administering the shots to members of his gang, though it was too late to help many of them.”
“Why would he keep such a thing?”
“To remind himself not to give up even when it feels you’ve lost everything.”
Wufei was silent for a moment, studying the man slouched on the couch, his jaw darkened with stubble. Placing the plastic on the coffee table, he picked another item from the box at random to test a theory. “And this?” he questioned as he turned a box around in his hand.
“That wasn’t broken so I didn’t have to do anything to it. It’s a piece of Deathscythe. This was from the back of Deathscythe’s neck, used to cover some of the wiring there. There are some bolts and pieces of wire in there, too,” Trowa made a gesture at the box at Wufei’s feet.
“I don’t recall ever seeing this,” Wufei noted as he picked up a small ceramic figure of a lion. “Where did it come from?” he asked, though he had a hunch.
“Duo kept it inside the box you kicked. It was a gift.”
“A gift from whom?”
The green-eyed man reached a hand toward the figurine Wufei held, pulling back before he touched it. “Duo was excited about seeing the lions at the circus until he actually got close to one. I got him this later to show him lions weren’t scary.”
“What happened while he was at your house, Trowa?”
As he expected, Trowa’s soft expression was abruptly gone, revealing nothing. It was only by studying the green eyes that he found a pain just as deep as Duo’s, if not more. “Nothing happened. It was time for him to come back here, to you.”
“It was time for him to come back to me? Did he have a choice in the matter or did you make it for him?”
“He’s happy with you, Wufei. He cares about you a great deal.”
Shaking his head, Wufei put the lion on the table, “Have you ever told him you’re in love with him?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Trowa hissed as he quickly stood, rubbing his chest. “I just wanted to bring his things by before I left.”
“Left? Where are you going?”
“I’m going on vacation, nothing to get excited over. I just feel the need to get away for a while.”
Looking at the slumped shoulders and hanging head, Wufei blocked the tall man’s path. “Where are you going on this sudden vacation, if I may ask?”
“I’ve rented a house on the beach. Why does it matter?”
“It only matters if you are running from your problems instead of facing them.”
“What problems?”
“Tell me what you did to Duo.”
Trowa met the other man’s eyes pleadingly; his voice soft and pained, “Please let it go. He’s with you. Isn’t that enough?”
“Trowa, what did you do to ensure he would come back here?” Wufei asked softly as he touched the other man’s arm, easily able to see how his friend was suffering.
If it was possible, Trowa seemed to draw into himself more as he let his eyes fall away. “I let him believe he meant nothing to me. He was torn about what to do, so I helped him make up his mind.” Stepping around Wufei, the tall man reached the door with shuffling steps, walking like an old man. After pulling the door open, he looked back at the dark-eyed man, “Will you take care of him for me, Wufei? Will you try to keep the fire burning inside him?”
Wufei wasn’t given any time to answer as Trowa left the apartment, the door closing softly behind him. If he had been given time, he would have told the tall man that the fire in Duo had been gone when the braided man had returned to the apartment, just like the spark of life seemed to have been snuffed out in Trowa’s heart.
Movement from the corner of his eye had him turning to look at Duo, sighing as he saw the tears that tracked silently down the heart-shaped face. Crossing to the man he had once assumed would become his lover, he took Duo’s face in his hands. “Do you still think he isn’t the person you thought you knew, or do you realize he let you see what he thought you needed to see?”
“I don’t understand,” Duo whispered in a heart-broken voice.
Leading the other man to the couch, Wufei tugged Duo down, keeping one arm around the small waist. With his free hand he traced a finger across the top of the lion, cataloging the cracks he could feel though they couldn’t be seen. “A man that didn’t care deeply would not have taken the time and effort to fix all of these.”
“He just didn’t want my stuff at his house. Maybe it was in his way or something,” Duo suggested quietly, leaning forward to take the lion and cradle it in his hands.
“As I said, only someone that cared would make this effort. Only someone in love would drive away what he wants the most if he thought that was what the other person really wanted.” Seeing the blank expression, he took the lion from Duo’s hands and set it back on the table, “Duo, I love you and always will, but not nearly as much as he does. I don’t know what he said or did to hurt you, but he did it so you would come back here. He thinks you’ll be happy with me. Will you tell me what happened?”
Over the next two hours Wufei heard the entire story, starting with what happened the last night on Howard’s ship and ending with the last night Duo had stayed at Trowa’s house. He surprised himself by not feeling the expected jealousy and hurt, instead experiencing a deep sorrow for the suffering both friends had gone through. He was stunned when Duo threw arms around his neck, sobbing an apology. “What are you sorry for?”
“I never should have asked him to kiss me. I betrayed you, Wufei.”
“No, you didn’t,” he stated firmly, pulling Duo back to give the other man a patient look. “You never wanted the same thing from me that I wanted from you. Do you really think I didn’t know that? There’s a reason I didn’t push you for more than we already had.”
“I told you we would try again and then I did…that with Trowa. How can you even stand to look at me?”
“Because all I want is for you to be happy. You aren’t happy with me, Duo.”
“I’m happy,” the long-haired man insisted without looking at Wufei.
“You’re not happy. You could be content with a life we could have together, but you could never really be happy while your heart lies with someone else.” Wufei smiled when Duo gave him a stunned look, “You are in love with Trowa, just as he is with you.”
“If he cares so much, why didn’t he say so?”
Understanding he had never had a chance with Duo, the dark-eyed man shook his head, “If he thought you didn’t want him, Trowa wouldn’t take that risk. I can’t be certain, but I don’t think you are the only one that has lost people you cared for. Speaking of his feelings would be a huge risk he wouldn’t want to take without some reassurance. Did you ever let him know how you felt or did you keep your feelings hidden?”
The braided man’s face turned a bright red, “I thought I let him know how I felt when we were…you know…what I said before.”
“How did he act while you were together?” Wufei wasn’t as embarrassed speaking of the intimacy, having more experience than Duo or Trowa could boast of having. He had a hunch their experience had been the most involved either had ever been, telling of their shared trust.
Duo shrugged, “He seemed to be enjoying himself, but he could have been faking. How am I supposed to know if he really wanted me?”
Wufei couldn’t stop the chuckle that snuck its way from his throat, cutting it off when he was glared at. “If he didn’t want you it would have been obvious, Duo. Some things can’t be faked.”
The long-haired man’s face turned even darker as he considered that. “Good point, but that doesn’t mean he really wanted me.” Wufei waited as the other man frowned, “It seemed like he wanted me, but once we were…finished he turned cold. He got up and walked away and left me there feeling used.”
“What if he felt the same? Trowa could have believed you were using him as a replacement for me, Duo.”
“He wouldn’t think that, would he?”
“If you had said anything to make him think you cared more for me than him, yes, he would. We’ve already established he would do whatever he had in order to make you happy. Holding a vital part of himself away would go with that.”
Instead of pressuring or trying to convince Duo further, Wufei left him alone for a little while, putting the computer in his room to use. He had a feeling he was going to need more information than the vague details Trowa had provided. When Duo appeared in the bedroom a half-hour later, he was printing out what he had found.
“Wufei…I think…I’m really sorry, but…”
One look at the floundering man had Wufei smiling and holding out the pages he had printed. “These are directions to the beach house Trowa rented for the next month. Apparently, he thought he was going to need some time to deal with you leaving. I suggest you use the time there showing, and telling, him how you feel.”
Taking the papers, the other man gave him a hesitant look, “What about you? Are you going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” he replied honestly. “I’ll be able to find someone else, someone that was meant for me. You are meant for Trowa and he is meant for you. Promise me you’ll be happy?”
“I guess that depends on Trowa. What should I take?”
“Come on and I’ll help you pack, but I don’t think you’ll need much. Once you two get things worked out, I doubt you’ll require clothing for a while.”